Self Care Challenge

Black lives matter.

Your life matters.

You matter.

There are no correct words to say, and nothing that I can say to you to make this better or easier.

Take care of yourself. Express your emotions— your grief and fear and frustration and rage and the love that sends every emotion to greater heights— in a way that is helpful and safe for yourself.

If you need someone to talk to, I am here as a friend. If you need someone to vent to, I am here. I care about you. I care about you and your life and your struggles and your victories and your travesties.

Today’s challenge is to take a break. Take a break from news coverage. Block virus tags on your social media, or if that doesn’t work, limit social media to talking to friends.

I’m not talking about forever. I’m talking about a day, if that’s possible. An hour. Fifteen minutes where you give yourself permission to NOT think about this.

And when your break is over, come back to what you need to do. If you are worried that something will happen during that time, ask someone around you to notify you if something major happens.

Hi everyone!

I hope you are hanging in there okay.

This is not a post telling you about all of the things you should be doing. You’ve heard the litany already (wash hand, stay home, etc) and I don’t need to repeat it. (Ok I felt a little obligated to, but I’m done now)

Personally, I am a college student trying (mostly failing) to learn from home and wrestling with depression. I have some idea for challenges, and I am going to try to post some. But! If there is anything that has been working for you that you want to share with others, send them in! I would be thrilled to pass it on.

This is going to be the only post talking about Covid 19 on my blog. (In theory). I am going to avoid talking about it, because if you are anything like me, you are already having information thrown at you from all directions. It’s hard enough to sort through without me adding to the mix. I might talk around it— about quarantine maybe— but I am not going to give info about covid. Primarily because I don’t know what the fuck I’m talking about.

So! Today’s unofficial challenge is to tell me what has been helping you get through this!

With much love and hoping you stay safe,

Today’s challenge is to use part of a good day to prepare for a bad day.

When you are in the middle of a crisis or even just a rough patch, it can be really hard to help yourself. It can be helpful to set yourself up for success ahead of time.

One example is that I know that this is going to be a difficult semester for me, because I’m going to have a heavy work load. So I’m trying to prepare for that. I’m making myself a schedule, in the hopes that I will be able stick to it even if depression hits. I am doing some of the reading I know I’ll have now. My friends know that I have depression, and they are really helpful when I’m feeling bad— they’re good at helping me through, encouraging me to get out or to do work. I have my therapists cell phone number and permission to text her. I know that if I don’t talk to my parents for a while, that can be harmful for me, and my dad promised to text me if I go too long without calling.

What can you do to prepare for a bad day? Can you get some simple meals in the house— maybe something you can microwave if you’re too exhausted to cook? If you have anxiety, do you have any sort of fidget that you do, or positive coping mechanism that you can set up now?

I know this is similar to a recent post; this can be one aspect of your emergency plan. But it can also be independent of it.

If you have the spoons today, what can you do to help you through tomorrow?

What does healing mean to you? What would life be like if you weren’t dealing with the trials that you are?

I would be interested in my classes, and I would feel confident. I would be comfortable in my body. And most of all? Some days would—some days will— still suck.

I wish that I could feel at my peak everyday, of course. But I’m also starting to realize that I can’t. No one feels perfect everyday. No one even feels pretty good every single day. We are all a mess of good days and bad days. There will always be days where I miss my brother like crazy, or that I want to curl up into a ball and stay that way forever. But there will also be days where I get yummy coffee and sit and knit and enjoy the world.

When I think of life and recovery this way, it seems so much more possible. And when I really think about it, I start to realize that maybe I’m a lot closer to feeling recovered than I thought.

Today’s challenge is to eat some food!

For some people, this is going to be really difficult. For others, it will be a given. Either way is entirely valid. I want you to note that I have never had an eating disorder, and if any of my advice or ideas are unhelpful or harmful for you, I’d really like you to tell me.

So for me, when I am paying extra attention to eating, I pay attention to what I eat. This does not mean that I avoid foods, or count calories, or only eat food that is “healthy” but I don’t like. Personally, I don’t see that as a healthy relationship to have with food.

When I am getting my food (my dining hall is buffet style), I try to find food that I like, while also including a vegetable and a protein. I do this because I know that if I do not eat something with protein, i will be hungry really soon. I really enjoy most vegetables, so this often isn’t super hard. But if I can’t find one or the other, that’s okay.

If you can, eat a vegetable, a fruit, a protein. If you can’t that is okay. If all you can convince yourself to eat is some candy, I would rather you get calories from candy than get no calories at all. You probably know what helps you to eat better than anyone else. Maybe being around loved ones helps, but maybe is makes it worse. Maybe grapes, crackers, cheese, and other small snacky foods are easier to eat. You don’t have to put a ton of pressure on yourself by sitting down to a big meal if you don’t think that would help; while you do something else, have a plate nearby and try to take a bite once in a while.

I know that this is a stressful challenge for some people. People have difficult relationships with food for all different reasons, and that’s okay. You might even be eating less food because of finals (hiii so much chocolate!). Today’s challenge is to give your body the fuel it needs to help you get through the day and be at your best.

Today’s challenge is to look at your sleep schedule!

I don’t know what your life schedule is like, I don’t know if you have insomnia, or if it’s hard to sleep because if other reasons. What I do know is that sleep is important.

Our bodies need sleep. Our brains need sleep. I have it on good authority (a nurse, they’re great!) that people without sleep and regular food intake are grumpy toddlers.

Now I know that telling you to sleep doesn’t make it possible or easy. So here are my idea:

Set up a bedtime routine— the way brains work is that it is easier to recall memories or enter a certain state of mind if the external variables are similar to what it was the last time you felt that way. So routines that set you up to sleep do actually help

Try to take some time away from electronics before bed. Ideally, an hour. Realistically— whatever is realistic to you. Maybe start with 10 minutes. Maybe have the goal f half an hour.

I do not do this. It is also 12:40 am so maybe don’t do what I’m doing rn

If you take bedtime meds, take them on time!!

I also did not do this today. Are you seeing a theme?

Try meditating! It sounds like bs, but it can actually be really helpful. I listen to a yoga nidra one, and I am never awake to the end. Ever.

Figure out what temperature works for you. I like the room to be cool but me snug under blankets! Not always feasible, but if it is, it could help.

Aim for 7 hours. Personally, I’d prefer 9. However, I also know that I like being awake at night and that I have early morning classes— so 7 is much more likely

Forgive yourself. It’s okay if you haven’t been sleeping well. It’s not fun, but it’s also not the end of the world, and it’s not something you need to beat yourself up over.

Today’s challenge is to go for a walk!

Okay I usually hate this idea. I have to like... walk. And on pavement too, which is painful!

But then after spending 7 hours staring at a computer, I decided to take the long way back to the dorm. And I realized/remembered that we have woods?? Like a lot of it. So then I wandered in there for a while. I found some cool flowers and leaves. And I got to move my body in a way that felt good, which was the priority (the feeling good part). It was also refreshing for my mind. (Note to self, do not work on heavy projects for 7 consecutive hours)

Go for a walk! The outdoors is so amazing!

If you can’t go for a walk: I’m sorry, please don’t hate me. If you can, move your body in a way that feels good, and is also leisurely. Maybe smell some flowers and trees. (Yes smell trees, it’s a thing, especially after rain). I hope that has someone for everyone, but if you have something to add, please feel free!

Tell me all about your lovely walk, my lovely friends! Here’s a picture of some trees that I took.

[[image description] Slightly blurry photo of some trees, from the top of a downward slope. In the middle of the image, water is visible as light reflects off of it. Late evening lighting. Caption running along the bottom of the image reading “I had kind of forgotten that we have woods here... we have much woods.” [end image description]]

Wash your dishes!

Oh my goodness, I hate chores. I hate chores I hate chores I hate chores. So. Much.

But. If I don’t wash my mugs, I can’t have any tea.

Today’s challenge is dishes! If all of them is too much, break it down. Full the sink with warm soapy water. Wash that plate. Put it down to dry. If you need to stop, then you have one more clean plate than you did before.

.... okay I’m at college and do not have a dishwasher. You probably all do. I’m only a little salty.

Hahaha, 123! “ABC, Easy as 123, Ah, simple as do re mi...” (my brother performed that song in school when I was little and it frequently gets stuck in my head) Anyway...

What have you done to take care of yourself today? Today’s challenge is to remember, acknowledge, and be proud of the ways you took care of yourself.

You took a shower?? Your so cool!

Ate lunch? Amazing!

Brushed your teeth? Dang you’re great.

Went for a walk? Way to go!

It’s important to notice when you’ve done well, and to notice how it makes you feel. For example, Saturday, I did a lot of work, and I went for a walk, and I washed my dishes. All of which was fantastic and made me feel accomplished and competent.

Today, I want to do the same thing— except I’m going to add in a lunch break because that brownie was delicious but also I regret. But I know that most of what I did yesterday made me proud, and I want to chase that feeling.

It’s okay if you didn’t do a lot. It’s okay if your version of accomplishment is very very different from mine. It’s still amazing, and it’s still an accomplishment. You’re fantastic!!!

Today’s challenge is to make or revisit you’re safety plan.

Okay, so if you have no clue what I’m talking about: a safety plan is a list of things to help you or people to contact if you are feeling really bad. Maybe that’s experiencing anxiety, depression, or psychosis; I don’t know what you need. But you make a plan, so that if you need help, but can’t figure out what to do, you have it laid out for you already.

I’ve posted about this a couple of times before, and challenge 56 was the most in-depth (here’s the link!).

I’ve been thinking about this recently, and I’ve realized that my plan has changed a LOT since challenge 56. My needs have changed, my circumstances have changed, and my old plan doesn’t really work now.

My warning signs: when I start procrastinating all the time. When I start sleeping too much. When my thoughts feel “slow” and muddled. These are all signs of depression and anxiety for me.

Immediate interventions:

Grounding: feel my feet in my socks. Feel my feet in my socks in my shoes. Feel my feet in my socks in my shoes on the ground.

Breathe. Slow, deep, even. Trace the breathe in through my nose, down to my lungs, expanding and then relaxing, out back through my mouth.

Bring my depression with me. This doesn’t work for everyone, and I only know this exercise from the therapist. I personify my depression (his name is Phillip), and then when Phillip really wants me to stay in bed, I tell him, “it’s okay if you want to stay in bed, but I’m going to go get food. You can come with me if you like.” This can help a lot, even though it seems silly at first. (If you are seeing a therapist, definitely talk to them about this before doing it!!)

Okay, but none of these are working. I still feel really ______.

Text my therapist. This is something I have permission from her to do. I tell her, “I’m having a really hard time right now. My depression is too big and I feel stuck and I don’t know what to do.” And then she gives me ideas or advice or tells me to call her. It can be really helpful.

Call my friends

That helped in the moment, but it’s later that night, and I still feel bad.

Write it out! Journaling can help me figure out what I’m feeling and vent.

Art it out! Drawing can also help.

Distract myself: do my computer science homework, which makes me think.

Talk to my friends about how I’m feeling.

I do not and never really have had suicidal thoughts. I rarely self harm— and I’m lucky in these respects. But I also know that if I am unsafe, I have resources:

Call the counseling center— my schools counseling center has an after hours line.

Call a hotline (1-800-273-8255)

That place also has online chat available.

If you are feeling truly unsafe and think you might hurt yourself or commit suicide, please please please call 911. Please. The world would not burn so bright without you in it.