#please be safe

Transgender community, please please please do NOT use this product! It will kill you if used, please do not use it whatsoever.

Hi-ho, Parasol Lady Ansy (& Sora!) here again 🌧️☀️

With a reminder about heat sickness in light of the extreme heat warnings we’re getting in France & in the US this week or so.

Heat-related deaths in at least France have been rising, so please, please, PLEASE do what you can to stay safe! Have enough cool water on hand (& also eat cooling foods with enough salt to retain said water), wear brighter, lightweight clothes, avoid direct sunlight whenever & however you can (use a dark or dark-underside umbrella like mine), etc.

Heat sickness is not something to take lightly, or just brush off / tough out. If you start to feel lightheaded, weak, very thirsty, nauseous, etc. please take care of yourself. 😢

In the US, we’re forecasted to have record-breaking heat in the east, as well as wildfire conditions in the west. Not good.

If you or someone you know is unhoused (or under-housed, especially when it comes to access to AC or power), we do have emergency cooling centers they can go to. They have a website where you can search where to find one in your state. ❄️

You can also come to the public library - many have water fountains, & most of us have HVAC systems (can’t promise the quality, but it’s better than nothing) as well as free WiFi for you to chill out safely out of the heat. I think some of us may also have some cooling resources as well - better check the library’s website for more details before going. 📖

As for you guys out west, be sure to do what you can do to prevent wildfires. I know nothing about that being on the generally wetter east coast (currently more in drought / flood / storm conditions), so here’s a helpful guide by the NOAA.

Yes, even "just words." That means degradation and slurs. Yes. All of them.

This can look as simple as, "is it okay if I call you a slut while you're sucking me off?" or as complicated as a checklist of levels with hard limits. It can look like, "remember your safeword if this gets too intense, okay?" It should definitely look like, "how are you feeling about being called X?" afterward.

My partner is the submissive and I'm the dom/top. After scenes (especially ones that feel intense to me), I often end up feeling completely inadequate as a dom and partner, sometimes to the point of crying about it afterward. I feel like I must have done something wrong or not been "good enough" even when everything seemed fine during the scene, which I heard might be indincative of a dom drop. I've tried talking to my partner about it multiple times and asked for honest feedback on how the scenes feel for them / what their headspace is like afterward, and their input into scenes so I don't plan them all by myself. They refuse to really tell me, talking in generic phrases ("It was okay").

Instead they say things like:

doms don't get drops like subs do

dom drops "aren't that bad" anyway

I'm probably faking it or exaggerating

Writing this out, I can see those responses aren't okay... but I'm still unsure.

So my question is: What does dom drop / top drop actually look and feel like for you? How intense can it get? Have you also feel guilt, self-doubt, or like you're "not a real dom" afterward?

Hi anon, thank you for your ask.

First and foremost I'm so sorry you've been struggling and that your partner has been treating you so poorly. While a drop can have different levels of intensity for different people, it's safe to say that you're describing definitely sounds like a drop. Your partner's responses to this feeling are wrong and not okay at all. They don't sound like someone who understands boundaries or aftercare, and are dehumanizing you when you're having a very valid and normal reaction post-scene.

Doms need aftercare too, and anyone who isn't willing to provide the support their partner needs after a scene, who devalues their partner's feelings, or ignores a drop is selfish and an unsafe partner. I would not do anything with someone like that.

Your feelings are just as valid as your partner's and you deserve aftercare just as much as they do. You aren't a kink dispenser. You're a person. Your boundaries are just as important. Your consent is just as important. Your aftercare needs are valid and no different than any other boundary.

I've definitely had feelings of inadequacy or guilt after a scene. It's completely normal for anyone who participates in kink to sometimes feel that way, especially after a particularly intense scene. It's the responsibility of your play partner(s) to support you through those feelings. Aftercare is a core aspect of kink, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. please take care of yourself and don't play with people who refuse to accept your boundaries.

Hey guys, just giving a quick warning to yall and I suggest you go ahead and block @bagofkitchensupplies for telling my i was toxic, to get raped and KILL MYSELF (and in full seriousness) because I shipped Nuzi. Quick glance at their page, PLEASE be careful because they have very disturbing images on there, and believe it is repelthe22nd all over again

This has happened before, i didnt look too far down their page, but from the first post they might be targeting murder drones fans

It’s happened before. It will probably happen again, so this is a friendly reminder to BE SAFE ON THE INTERNET AND DONT BE STUPID. No one deserves this but please know how to stay safe from people like this <3

EVERYONE STAY SAFE OUT THERE!!!!!

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