look away

fellatio sounds like a supporting shakespeare character rather than oral sex on a penis to be honest

"You could get up early and do it before work" I could also wait for a magic beanstalk to start growing in my living room LMAO. Let's focus on things that happen in the real world

emotional support lofi girl while i read about the founding of jamestown and prepare to write a US history essay

little did i know when i typed this up in 2023 that it was the first history essay i'd write in college and that i'd end up changing my major to history, finishing with a concentration in russian/soviet history, writing a thesis on soviet history, doing two external research fellowships in soviet history and presenting at regional conferences, learning russian and latin in addition to french, getting scholarships in classical studies, russian, and history, and applying to phd programs in russian/soviet history.

if you really loved your friends you would explain real housewives of salt lake city to them. you would tell them how meredith marks may have given evidence to the feds to convict jen shah for fraud because she called her son a twink on twitter. you would go over the history of how mary m. cosby married her step-grandfather in order to assume control of her family's cult. do they even know that lisa barlow has six different lawyers and her tequila company might be a money laundering front? or bronwyn putting a $2 million dollar diamond necklace on her dog? they dont even know about whitney getting her husband fired from his mlm company for having mud sex on camera. so you hate them. you hate your friends

reject booktok culture. go to the library and get a weird little novel you’ve never heard of in your life and read it all in 2 days like god intended.

“tumblr is an echo chamber where people only see opinions of other people they agree with” please be serious. i have longtime beloved mutuals who are swifties. your experience is not universal

Bro I fucking love the DB Cooper case nothing about this whole situation sounds real. None of the passengers on the plane realized they were being hijacked until the plane landed two hours after it was supposed to and the fbi showed up with suitcases full of money. The note about the bomb almost went unnoticed because the flight attendant thought she was being sexually harassed so she didn't read it. One of the main suspects was the first trans woman in Washington to have a sex change operation. A reporter who was so dead set on his suspect that he brought him to court was so upset about being wrong that he went catatonic and was treated with electroshock therapy and it WORKED. There's been multiple "I'm DB Cooper" death confessions. He never even SAID his name was DB Cooper. Either he got away with a million bucks in today's money and the most iconic and harmless crime American history or he impaled himself on a pine tree while falling a zillion miles an hour in the dark while clutching duffel bags full of cash and either option is equally hilarious. He wore a clip on tie. He committed an act of sky piracy. What in the fucking looney toons