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I came into TADC late. I was sat down by two of my friends about a week after ep8 released, and binged it all in one go. And it's pretty good! Honestly I enjoyed it. It's a fun little thing for what it is - it's not super deep, it's nowhere near the dark comedy it touts itself to be, but the characters are kinda interesting and the world is fine and the plot is okay.

But from the very beginning, I had an issue with one of the characters - and if you know me at all, you know who it is. Yep, it's the bunny guy, the asshole-written-to-be-an-asshole, mister fucking Jax.

Actually, no, that's not true. I don't have an issue with him - I hate him. I cringed when he was onscreen, I rolled my eyes at his edgy fucking bullshit, I winced and felt actually very shocked by his treatment of the other characters. Jax is, I will admit, well written - but only through the lens that he was written to be a character that you hate.

For a villain, or at least as close to a villain as you can get without being obvert about it - and no, I don't consider Caine to be a villain, more a tragic antihero/plot pusher, Jax is... fine. A bit over the top on the asshole department; but then, he's antithetical to the show's themes to an absolute T. But what I don't get about Jax is that he is so beloved - even while he's abusing, controlling, manipulating and straight up killing other characters. (No, I don't mean the in sense that they can't die so it's okay to kill, I mean in the sense that he caused at least two of the named characters in the show to abstract - a fate as close to death as they can get - and was working on two more by the time our POV character arrives.)

The show, to me, is about connection. It's about how, even in the darkest times, our connection to others makes us human. It's about how even small acts of kindness can save lives.

Jax is what happens when that connection fails. No, not fails - is deliberately refused. His arc is about how pushing people away and abusing others, even in a misguided attempt to protect yourself, can cause serious, awful harm, even to the point of causing the deaths of others when taken to extremes.

Jax killed Ribbit. He killed her as surely as pulling a gun and shooting a real human would kill them. He killed her by pushing her away and doubling down on his ostracisation of her, refusing to allow even a tiny bit of connection, encouraging and using others to ostracise her, and abusing her so badly she committed suicide by abstraction. Jax killed Kaufmo. He killed Kaufmo by upending the group's dynamic so badly that he could do nothing else but try to escape from them. That need to escape turned into fixation, turned into desperation, turned into abstraction.

Jax was working on killing Gangle. Jax was isolating her, forcing her to spend time with him, grinding her down into nothing, making her feel subhuman, like a toy. It would have worked if Zooble hadn't arrived - he says that himself.

Jax was working on killing Ragatha. First by the aforementioned group dynamic flip making her unsure of herself and what her place in the world was, and then by abusing and tormenting her, physically, mentally and emotionally.

Jax is not a good person. In a world where the only thing you could be sure of was your own free will, Jax got up every morning and chose to hate, to isolate, to ostracise, to kill. Every barbed quip was a choice, every act of abuse was a choice, everything he said and did was a choice, over and over and over again even after the consequences of his choices kept happening and people were dying around him. All for what? Saving himself a moment of pain at the thought of making a connection to someone? Not letting anyone know his awful, terrible secret?

Also, as to the secret - if Jax is trans, or if Jax isn't trans, it doesn't matter. Jax can be a boy or a girl or nonbinary or trans or cis or whatever and it wouldn't change a thing. Jax's choices are what matter here, and everyone, regardless of sexuality or orientation, has the capability to choose to be an asshole - or choose to be good.

If you see yourself in Jax - or see Jax in you - this is your sign to connect to someone. To get help. To try and choose to be better. To talk. Because if you don't, Goose very eloquently explained what happens.

You die. You might not die quickly, or as suddenly as Jax, but you die. And you die alone. And you die unforgiven. And you leave a string of victims behind you who won't cry for you; if they cry at all, they'll cry for the hurt you caused them and the people you abused.