A bPd E F G

Sorry for my disappearance. I’ve been spending a lot of time on my ED blog.. @strawberrysplitknees. It’s kind of become my main account - dunno if that’s healthy.. probs not. I have lost quite a bit of weight, but I’m trying not to lose any more.

Anywhoo.. a little catch up:

I made up with my bestie after that massive argument in the summer

I got a part time job in a pub/restaurant but I couldn’t hack it - it was h0Rrible!

I’m still with my bf

I’ve finally started writing my novel!

I have a new passtime - drawing on my phone! I’ve created a side blog of my ‘work’ @gr8-c4rt00ns (it’s mainly fan art)

It’s my birthday on Saturday. I’ll be 29 😳!

I haven’t self-harmed for over SIX MONTHS!

I’m getting a recovery tattoo on Monday on my wrist, something like this:

… Can’t really think of much else. I’ve got loads to catch up on with you guys! So that I don’t get behind on your lives again I’m gonna follow you from my ED account (if I haven’t already).

Oh god. Why am I always the one that has to take responsibility for ending all the relationships. Am I a bad person?

Yesterday when I left the board game place I said "Well.. I'm gonna head (off now)" and every face greeted me with offence. Like I had seriously just pissed them all off. I mean, Christ! Get the fuck over it, I don't even know you guys - why do you give a shit? I was glad to get outta there to be honest. I'm getting worse at 'banter'. Unless I've had a few. God, is this what not having a job or friends does?? ... Well, yeah, I know this, I've been at square one a million times. I might as well set up fucking camp.

Need to find something to do around other people. Don't wanna lose my social skills again, 'cause that really sucks for confidence and self esteem.

So yesterday when I got home I had a thank you card addressed to me and my bf from Little Mrs...

On the bus home now. I fucking hate myself today.

I was stood next to an attractive girl at the bus stop and I was flirting with my eyes in a very coy way. I had this whole narcissistic romance in my mind. Then she got on a bus.

I think the whole world revolves around me, but I know it doesn't. I don't like thinking it, it makes me para.