Elen sila lumenn' omentielvo

i think taylor swift wishes she was bisexual because she knows it would make her slightly more money. whereas sabrina carpenter wishes she was bisexual so she could have sex with someone who looks exactly like herself. and ariana grande wishes she was bisexual because she did too many designer drugs on the set of wicked and now she has kin memories of being glinda for real

good morning women with big butts

Imagine it's your last day alive and you're having to spend it with JD Vance 😭

he will forever be known as the guy so loathsome that merely interacting with him killed the pope

If Vance isn't even a little concerned that he might have killed the pope then you know without a doubt that he's a performative fake catholic

A 12 year old Italian American girl who looked at a woman for too long on April 20th is probably more worried that she personally killed the pope than JD Vance is

Before hooking up with someone tell them “i’m… kinda weird down there. Like… you know in a lord of the rings type of way” and then refuse to elaborate

my shit glow when orcs are near

The hardest part of being a substitute teacher is sometimes a twelve year old walks into your classroom wearing a ten-gallon cowboy hat for no reason and you cannot under any circumstances say "hell yeah"