i have ruined you,

And maybe there's a part of him that wonders whether it will all be over once he eventually gives it up. Maybe there's a persistent nagging at the back of his brain, telling him that Ilya is only in it for the chase and that once he's actually had Shane he will become just another notch on his bedpost.

Shane: You mean 'vicariously'?

"Is Shane okay?" Was Yuna's first question.

"Yes," David was quick to reassure her. "He's fine. He's great."

"David," Yuna said worriedly, hand on his bicep. "Is Shane okay?"

"He really is. I promise, sweetheart. I would tell you if he wasn't," David promised her because he would. "But I - he was - he's probably going to be headed over here soon."

"Why?" Yuna started to get more worried, despite her husband's reassurances. "David, what happened? Did you two fight?"

David did interrupt his silent retreat but Yuna couldn't imagine Shane getting into a fight with his father over that.

"No," David caught her eyes. "Do you trust me?"

"Of course."

"Then please don't ask. I saw something I shouldn't have and I - I want it to be Shane's choice if he tells us. I promise you he's safe. We didn't fight. He's - he might be upset with me, but he's okay."

Yuna searched his face for another moment before she slowly nodded.

She had an idea of what David might have seen.

She had considered that Shane's 'silent retreat' might not be the complete truth. She also recognized how upset her husband was at unintentionally learning something about their boy that he wasn't ready to share.

"Okay," Yuna pulled him in for a hug. "I'll make some tea."

"I feel so horrible."

"Shane loves you, he'll understand," Yuna said.

"I hope so," David pulled back. "I can make the tea. Shane will probably want some if he comes over."

He used to make Shane hot chocolate after nightmares, or doctor visits, or difficult practices. When he was a teenager, he started asking for tea instead.

Yuna, sensing David needed something to do, said, "use the new one my aunt sent us. It takes a little longer but I think Shane will like it."

~*~*~

"So, what did you see," Yuna asked her husband as they watched their son and his boyfriend, Ilya Rozanov, drive away.

"I wondered how long it would take for you to ask," David smiled.

"Hush you," Yuna glared. "Like you wouldn't be curious. Unless, god, did you walk in on-"

"No," David stopped her. "They were just walking up from the dock. I would have left but when I noticed it was Rozanov - or Ilya, I mean - I was just frozen there."

"Then how did you know they were, you know, together?"

"Well they kissed on the porch," David winced. "And Ilya..."

"Ilya what?"

"He, uh, had his hand on Shane's…bottom."

Yuna and David stared at each other for a few seconds before Yuna couldn't take it anymore, smile spreading across her face and burst out laughing, hand gripping her husband’s shirt to hold herself up.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Yuna laughed out.

"Yuna!" David admonished but he was laughing too. He reached out to steady her. "It's not funny!"

"When you put it that - that way!" Yuna tried to gather herself. "Ilya Rozanov. Ilya Rozanov. I can't believe it."

"He's a sweet kid," David was still smiling, thinking about Ilya standing awkwardly by his son, happily eating pasta, saying he'd leave the team that drafted him for their Shane.

Yuna softened. "He really is. He looks so much younger in person."

it's not until the cottage, until the first afternoon together, that he can reach for it without thinking. he's on his back, legs slung over the top of ilya's arms, spread wide and gasping the first time it escapes on a low, breathy moan. barely more than a hitch in his chest. as easy as a sigh.

and it makes ilya pause. he stills his hips to a slow grind that still has him arching off the sheets. ilya collapses around him, mouth trailing up his neck to the hollow behind his ear.

"say that again." he hovers above shane, lips parted and eyes blown out, and looking at him like he wants to eat him whole. "say it," he says, emphasising each word with a filthy roll of his hips, "again."

pleasure lights him up, sweet heat burning in his veins, and he almost chokes in his haste to do as he asks. "il-ya."

he receives the bitten off, "fuck, shane" right into his mouth as ilya kisses him in that all consuming way he loves so much.