I used to be really loud like people would constantly have to tell me to be quiet and I’m not like that anymore and my therapist said I speak with a monotone affect and I sigh a lot when I’m on the phone with my friend and it wasn’t always like this I miss being explosive

Can’t sleep bc I drank 3 teas at the place I went to not do internship work so that I could kill time to ask a girl with a boyfriend if she had a boyfriend I bought the last tea to talk to her for real and got it to go after I left, I stopped by a trash can to chug it and throw it away after deciding not to just throw it away without chugging it I fucked up but the second one might have also pushed me past the threshold so I won’t hold it against three, just me

I can’t tell my therapist that I’d rather die than go on SSRIs and not be intense and emotional or that I told my ex gf that doesn’t care if I live or die exactly that and she agreed with me so I just say that I am scared of getting more fat and ED

Stop giving me By the Sea edits! Not the time!

A paddy pimblett edit made me cry after I put my not gf that I have never loved anyone else as much on a train after telling her I can’t have whirlwind weekends every 2-3 weeks and ignored in between

I’ve decided to adopt a navy seal mindset and get big as fuck and not care about anything unless someone is about to die and wear sunglasses with mirrored lenses and flip flops

In a whatever with my not girlfriend that hates me so I’m comparing myself to 19 year old bodybuilders on TikTok in the same way that they light smaller fires to fight bigger forest fires

Last night, I (1) got told by my not girlfriend that staying with me for 3 nights is significantly too intimate and that we should do 2 instead when she visits; (2) had an intense conversation with someone I used to see about my breakup and the intense eye contact we make when we speak and what is going on between us; (3) danced and made out with someone from my school in between us talking about the people we actually love and expelling latent horniness through this and sexting but nothing more