All Ranch Is Cool To Me

In another life I would have loved to poison the abusive husbands of the women in my village

got a crick in my neck and a frog in my throat and a chip on my shoulder and a stick up my ass and now you're gonna stand there puttin words in my mouth? haven't I been through enough?

there is nothing more important than a dear friend you can be a huge fucking asshole hater with

stop calling it a girl dinner and call it by its formal name: Fend For Yourself dinner in an ingredients household

"we're all faggots in the eyes of the state" okay but the state recognises different category of "faggot" where one is "idiot womanchildren with delusions of grandeur" and another is "subhuman predators that must be excised from society posthaste" like neither are a great way to treat another human being but can we pleeeeeeease acknowledge the difference here

"stop queer infighting we're all-" okay so is this actually queer infighting or did a trans woman describe her lived experience in a way you didn't like

There is no Love on that island

snakes really make you appreciate how gross mammals really are. squamates are very dry and clean

a bird is a kind of reptile that has learned to be yucky.

I love being an adult who always puts my hand out to shake when I meet a kid! every single time their face is like "no one does The Adult Greeting Ritual with me, is this a sign of respect or is this man simply unhinged" and then of course as we talk they realise it's both

This is what hozier meant when he says he falls a little bit in love everyday with someone new

I once watched a girl in the produce aisle pick up a bushel of bananas that were precariously perched on the edge and move them farther back and under her breath she said “there you go sweeties - that will be more comfortable” before shuffling off and… I think about her often.

« Silent lovers » is such a sweet way to put it.

I was driving on the highway and passed a dude absolutely JAMMING alone in his car, doing those little half dance moves you do when you’re stuck sitting down in a small space, bellowing unheard lyrics at the top of his lungs, and my instant reaction was to think “I love you.” And then to pray he had a good day, or whatever, because those fleeting moments of connection are so incredible.

damn your pussy fat and long and hard and outside

I habe some bad news

BOTH TOWERS?

in the club begging strangers for forgiveness and proving incapable of articulating what for when asked

My mans unlocked a higher level of synesthesia