Elizabeth

THIS WILL *ACTUALLY* CHANGE YOUR LIFE.

do you know how many people are waiting until next year to glow up and actually start to become their dream self? now just think, if you started now, before 2025, how far you would be. how much more skills and knowledge you would have. you're literally getting a head start. so what are you doing dilly-dallying until 2025? heres your guide to ending this year accomplishing everything you need to and starting 2025 with everything you need.

in this post i will include mindset shifts, how to become a better person, actionable advice, actually becoming a new person <3

👑know what you want.

who do you want to become at the end of this year? what does your dream girl look like? what kind of body does she have? her clothes? who are the people she hangs out with on a daily basis- friends?

create a very clear version in your head and use pinterest to show photos of what your goals are- for ex: girls at the gym, journalling, writing, studying, reading, learning, walking, with friends, spending time outside, going swimming, playing sports, doing a skill/ hobby.

you can also find an idol/ an inspiration- a youtuber, influencer, parent, anyone who you look up to and want to somewhat have a similar life like them. (for ex: thewizardliz, tam kaur) whatever is important to you this goes hand in hand with the next point:

👑goals.

any unfinished projects, any goals you said you'd do in the beginning of the year, get them all down on paper. if you've finished any of them, great!- tick them off. but if you haven't then its time to lock in. pick the ones that are most important to you. that you know that achieving these will 100% get you closer to your goal. doing this makes sure you get rid of the ones that you think are "productive" when in reality they just help you procrastinate.

finish any unfinished projects or books you have before the new year begins because 2025 is about bringing in new, fresh opportunities and things. for me personally, i have a few crochet projects that i want to finish before the end of this year so i can start the new year with nothing old from the year before!

👑cutting.

you are going to be becoming a new person- new mindset, new values, new perception on life, etc. the people in your life currently probably won't align with this new version of you. because if the people around you still only know the old you, your growth won't happen because it will feel extremely unnatural without the right people around you. this means you're going to have to decide whether you are letting any of your friends go. if they don't serve you or make you feel happier or bring in any value to your life, im sorry but its time to cut them off.

but of course if you actually have good, kind, loving friends who grow with you and support you all the way, keep them. the goal is to remove the people who don't serve your highest self. not remove the people who you know will be there for you.

but along with this, if you notice that those people are acting a bit more weirdly/ strangely now that you're improving- giving you backhanded compliments, talking about you behind your back, or just giving you a weird vibe in general, trust your gut. those people don't want to see you going to a higher place where you're thriving- keeping them in your life can be terrible for your highest good.

remember that doing this doesn't mean that you're not going to get better because BETTER ALWAYS COMES. god will give you more people who you couldn't have ever dreamed could be so amazing. so never keep toxic people in your life out of fear that you'll be alone forever. (remember: 8 billion people in the world.)

👑mindset.

dont wait to change your mindset only once you achieve the dream body or the best grade- start now. people can take away everything from you but they can't take away your mindset, skills, and knowledge. here are some mindset shifts to develop:

the abundance mindset. know that everything happens for your highest and greatest good only! everything will work out in the end for you because God hasn't put you on this earth to suffer. if you are religeous (God) or spiritual (the universe) or even believe theres a higher faith, why on earth would you willingly believe that your purpose here is to have a bad time? obstacles will come your way and you will make bad decisions and mistakes. but all these jsut contribute to the person you are today and the person who you'll be in the future!

i will make it. believe in your vision and yourself so fiercely that you know in your bones that you will achieve your goals. you will travel the world and discover new places, you will get to retire your parents, you will get to buy expensive bags for your mom, you will be that rich sister/daughter/ wife, you will help people around the whole world, you will have people around you who love and care for you, you will achieve whatever dream you had since you were a kid and whatever dream you have right now. you will you will you will! know this so strongly but also know that i will achieve there one day, but i also am so blessed and grateful for the life i have right now! i have so many privileges and such an amazing life that i would never trade away for anything.

growth mindset if you fail, IT IS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD. please stop being afraid of failing, be afraid of never trying!! you have no idea how freeing failing is because once you do, then you'll never have that "what if" in the back of your mind, never have that small voice asking what could have happened if you had done that thing. so if you do fail, perfect! that means that you won't waste any more time wondering what would have happened. having a growth mindset means that you know you're human and you'll make mistakes, but that doesnt make you a bad person and it doesn't take away your capability to still accomplish your goals. if you fail be able to brush it off, and keep trying again and again. Thomas Edison had 1000 failed attempts to make the light bulb. yet he learnt from what didn't work, took that into consideration, then tried again. and again. and again. and now? your probably sitting in a room with light that you have because he persisted in his goal!

stay positive always have a positive outlook and perspective of life. look at the beauty and what you have instead of what you lack. feel happy joyful energy vibrate through you everyday. do things that just make you a more positive person in general! feeling happier makes you look 100x more attractive and will change the way you interact with the world!!

👑be a better person.

new year new you right? so its time you up level the way you talk and treat others. because the goal isn't to be A b*tch, the goal is to be THAT b*tch! so going around being rude isn't going to do anything for you. being kind however- having manners, checking up on people, asking how their day was, being charismatic, etc- thats what can get you so much more opportunities! you're going to be kind, but not a people pleaser- ofc prioritise yourself always but also at the same time- if you have made a commitment to be somewhere for someone at a certain time, honor that commitment. be the friend you wish you had.

being mean to everyone just because you were hurt by someone else is not it. yes, so you were hurt. grow, evolve, heal. you're stronger than this. you're stronger than you think. you can overcome anything and you can become an even better person, capable of loving fully and wholly!

misc tips:

change what you consume. start watching thewizardliz, tam kaur on youtube. have an inspiration/ idol to look up to in life.

workout. i dont care if its not one of your goals to have a fit body, but don't workout for that. workout because you love yourself. because its actually proven to make you happier, because you deserve a healthy, fully functioning body.

DRINK WATER. do you know how many benefits something as simple as that has? clear skin, unchapped lips, better digestive health, weight management, better health, feel more alert and energized, better for immune system, increases brain power, eliminate toxins, ETC ETC!

have a morning routine that literally sets yourself up for success. stimulate your mind with reading self help, learn something, study, focus on a skill, do something that makes your mind active.

journal & check in with yourself.- document your progress! write about how you felt after everyday. did you feel esp happy during anything? do you feel satisfied at the end of the day? or do you find that your day made you feel tired and drained? do you feel regret and wished you did more at the end of the day?

diary- links with the earlier point. document the day. you can write about it, or what i also like to do is video myself yapping to the camera. talk about whatever you want and let your mind wander free!

you are that it girl! dress the part, smell good, make yourself feel so good that you just can't help but feel like you can conqure anything!!

winter arc ; oct to jan

1. build a strong routine - examples: wake up immediately and journal, don't scroll in the morning, meditate, drink 1 glass of water

2. create realistic goals - be more practical. when we set big goals and they don't happen we brush them off and say 'i'll just do it next week' hence delaying action

3. visualize - visualize how the highest person of yourself looks like

4. be consistent - wake up at the same time, be consistent, and don't scroll when you wake up, just take action everyday ! things don't just happen overnight

5. habit stacking - habit stacking follows a simple formula of "when i do [current habit], i will do [new habit]." for example: "when i drink my coffee in the morning, i will listen to an educational podcast."

6. use habit trackers/to-do lists

7. don't give up when your day isn't perfect - be flexible and understand that not everything has to be checked off, life happens

8. don't go through hardcore restrictions - since it's festival season, there are chances that you might not be able tick off some habits but that's okay !

9. listen to your body - do what you feel is best for you, don't beat yourself up if you aren't able to do something

let go of the feelings you've had in the past year, "i wish i did this" blah blah. don't beat yourself over it. just move forward. why keep waiting for tomorrow when you can start today? show up for yourself. why do i want to achieve this goal? it has to be for you.

Shila’s Guide to Hosting

I firmly believe that skills in hostessing and event planning are some of the most useful one could possibly gain; when you are trying to make and maintain connections, the best way to do so, unquestionably, is through hospitality. The most popular people at your high school likely threw the very best parties, and that sentiment, although somewhat changed in superficial presentation, does carry on throughout life. Almost all of my knowledge in this regard comes from my grandmother, a legendary hostess and very patient teacher, and I’ve been hosting my own little events right from my very first childhood tea party. When I was at boarding school, I loved hosting little gatherings with all my friends and I fully expect to do exactly the same all over again at university; presently, a very sizeable portion of my role in running the house is organising and hosting a great deal of the events that we’re constantly holding here, and so by now I’d consider myself a dab hand at the job. I have folders upon folders of resources and plans for such events but I’ll do you all a favour and offer up a few basic tips rather than the whole megilah; in any case, you only really need to learn the fundamentals before you’re already off to a flying start!

Written invitations, always

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m guilty of sending out last minute invitations by telephone rather than post, but for all but the most spontaneous gatherings, a hand-written invitation is the way. It sets everything off in the right direction, it’s appreciated by all, and it’s just such a personal touch and one that can be as formal or as casual as you like, from embossed cream cardstock send by post, to a quick, scrappy little note popped into your friend’s pigeon hole. I love receiving invitations, I put them out on my chimneypiece so that I can’t possibly forget to go, and I always hear from friends and relatives alike that it’s such a delight to receive a hand-written invite, it just makes the whole affair seem so much more special and sparkling. Do make sure to write the time and date clearly on the invitation, even for the most casual get-togethers, and for anything more than a supper between friends, then the dress code, too. For large, open-house events such as a summer fayre, it’s not necessary to send out invitations, but it can be a lovely touch to post little notes through the doors of the local neighbourhood inviting them to attend if they so wish; this is what I did for our Coronation garden party, and I’ve already received too many compliments to count from my neighbours around the village!

Understand your event & your guests, plan accordingly

Not every single event can, should, or need be a Great Gatsby-style extravaganza. Before you even begin planning your event, you must know exactly what it is you have in mind, and (even more importantly) what it is others will be expecting. Planning for a bar mitzvah, for example, is entirely different from a hen night, just as a shooting weekend requires entirely different preparations from a book launch party—the only common denominator being the certainty that mixing up the vibes will not result in many thank-you notes or returning guests. The most successful parties are those which have a veneer of fun and spontaneity atop a firm foundation of utmost military precision, so do ensure that you’ve planned out all the logistics, from giving your guests directions to the event’s location and having someone on hand to answer calls from the lost, to choosing exactly the right rooms to host the function and blocking off any unnecessary doors and verandas. It’s also crucial to know exactly who is invited, who is likely to cause trouble (hopefully nobody, but you can never be too sure!) and whether there are any present rifts between guests, any specific needs or accomodations people may have, and preparing for it all in advance. I learnt this lesson extremely early on in childhood, when I was often obligated to play with children who were rather boisterous and would break my toys—I learnt very quickly to lock away my most precious things, keep the door to my bedroom firmly closed, and subtly direct all the fun and games out into the gardens. Your decidedly more adult guests might not be at risk of beheading your Barbie dolls, but it pays to be prepared and hand the sturdier glasses to the more butter-fingered attendants, or prepare a bed in advance for the guest who you just know will inevitably end up staying over.

Enlist help if needed

Planning events is exhausting enough, but hosting them unaided is a labour too great for even Hercules himself. There is, in the eyes of most guests, nothing worse than a party wherein the host is frazzled, bedraggled, and constantly running to and from the kitchen with half-cold dishes; these people have attended your event not for the sake of dressing up and making small talk, but rather to see you, to catch up with you, and if you spend the entire time harangued and hardly visible then no matter how good the food or excellent the entertainment, the evening will ultimately never end up a success. If you already have staff to take that burden from your shoulders, then all the better, but if you do not, then it can be extremely worthwhile to enlist a trusted teenager or younger sibling to take guests’ coats and do the washing-up, it makes such an enormous difference and allows you as the hostess to enjoy the party, too. I’ve helped out many a friend and relative with all kinds of tasks at their events, it comes down to all the little things and even the very best host would find it quite impossible to stay on top of everything without help.

Play matchmaker

Perhaps the most crucial aspect of event planning is deciding on the guest list. People-lover that I am, this is one of my very favourite things to do and I just adore battling it out as to who ought come, who will mix well with whom, and finally drawing up the perfect list. A deep understanding of your friends and acquaintances, as well as of human psychology, is utterly necessary for this and you must be quite ruthless in cases. Keep religion and politics in mind as well as character when it comes to picking your guests, especially for more intimate gatherings; there’s nothing worse than ending up with a huge argument over topical matters at a dinner which was intended to be calm and subdued. Equally, though, it’s rather fine to keep things interesting, and, so long as you’re quite certain of the graciousness of your guests, to invite those with somewhat opposing tastes and views can result in marvellous and good-natured debate. People attend all but the most close-knit get-togethers with the intention of meeting new and interesting individuals, and it’s your responsibility, as hostess, to provide such opportunity. It can be helpful to keep an old-fashioned ‘hostess book’; a little notebook with spaces for menu planning, drafting up seating arrangements and table decorations, and keeping notes about guests’ professions, interests, and dietary requirements. I have a lovely little book from Cabana Magazine which was, somewhat ironically, gifted to me by a wonderful guest—but there are many different options available, although perhaps not as wide a choice as there once was.

Menu planning

Ah, menu planning! It can be such a minefield, especially when it comes to pairings and taking preferences into account. When preparing for an event, I consider menu planning to encompass three separate parts: the food itself, the drinks, and the table setting and decoration. Long gone are the days of seven full courses, and so your task as hostess is made a little easier, but it can still be a little tricky to figure out whether to serve two or three courses at a luncheon, say, or both cheese and pudding for dinner. I have a whole lifetime’s worth of tricks up my sleeve when it comes to feeding guests (that’s what having a Jewish mother does to you, I suppose!) but a basic rule of thumb is to keep the number of courses as minimal as possible, but for the courses themselves to be substantial. Little tiny Michelin-style portions rarely go down well at a private function unless they are canapés; equally, whilst introducing guests to new cultural dishes may be fun for all, I would advise against serving anything potentially objectionable in your home culture (in England, for example, many guests are likely to object to the serving of foie gras, or meat/fish dishes with head still intact) as well as very hot and spicy dishes, especially if young or elderly guests are present. Drinks are a little easier; for evening events, I tend to select one or two pre-dinner drinks—usually a shot of a good liquor, and then a cocktail that’s possible to make up as a batch and serve from a punch bowl—and then all there is to do is pair the food and the wine. It’s quite crucial that you don’t forget to include non-alcoholic options, for even if you are quite sure that none of your guests are tee-total, they may well be intent on driving themselves back home, presently taking antibiotics or other medicines which don’t play well with alcohol, or simply wishing to cut back a little on their drinking, and it’s entirely unfair to expect them to put up with a half-flat bottle of Coca-Cola, or, worse, tap water, when you’ve bought a lovely selection of alcoholic drinks for the rest of the guests to enjoy. Table setting is perhaps the simplest part of all, I would suggest doing as I do and keeping a little album of table settings and decorations that you like, so that you always have something in mind.

Don’t be embarrassed by the little things

So many people, young women especially, say to me that they’re quite afraid of hosting any kind of gathering out of embarrassment; and not embarrassment in their lack of experience, but rather in their lack of proper dinnerware. I say to you now that you really, really oughtn’t worry! I think that a lot of people gain the impression that having the right sort of cutlery and napkins is of paramount importance when it comes to hostessing properly, as etiquette manuals are positively overflowing with rules and regulations about which fork to use when and how to set a table correctly, but in practice, it really doesn’t make the slightest difference to a good party. I once held a lovely little get-together in my room when I was at school, it was a scorching hot day and one of the girls had brought a tub of ice-cream, but I hadn’t any bowls to serve it from—and so we simply ate scoops of ice-cream out of teacups, and it wasn’t a problem in the slightest; in fact, it was such a hoot to do so, and some of the girls still laugh about that day. All you really need is enough things to drink from and enough things to eat from for all of your guests, and that’s quite enough for all but the most stiff and formal events; I personally find mismatched crockery very charming indeed, and it’s become quite fashionable as of late to have an assortment of bits and pieces rather than a full matching set. In the same vein, I really shouldn’t be embarrassed by other such trivial matters as an outdated kitchen (heaven knows our kitchen at home is about 300 years out of date!), your guests have come to see you and they wish to see you happy, confident, and relaxed—not fretting!

Rest up well beforehand