Savage Cookie

Wings in the Snow

This idea came from this tweet.

☺️ The wing prints left by a hunting owl looked so incredibly beautiful that they immediately gave me Destiel vibes🤩

Yuna notices something is wrong because of course she does and together with David they herd Shane into some private empty side room hoping it will help him calm down. But it doesn't. He wont stop shaking and his breathing is too fast and he flinches at their voices even tho nobody is speaking loudly. Won't let Yuna come close to hug him or rub his arm.

Maybe Yuna is starting to panic a little herself, her heart aching as she watches Shane wrap his own arms around himself, hates that she cant do anything when her son is so clearly in distress, hates that she can't seem to think of anything that will work-

When suddenly the door bangs open and Ilya Fucking Rozanov??? strides into the room with quick steps, makes a beeline directly for her son, eyes locked on him like he doesnt even register her and David in the room as well and Yuna opens her mouth to cuss him out, tell him to fuck off and not bother Shane right now, she can feel her body moving already to stand in front of Shane protectively when David grabs her arm because-

Because Rozanov is pulling Shane into his arms, one hand on the back of Shane's neck, guiding his head to press into the crook of Rozanov's neck and Shane isn't fighting it, doesn't flinch from his touch. He goes where Rozanov arranges him and let's himself be held and rocked back and forth gently as Rozanov presses his mouth to Shane's ear and starts whispering something so quietly that Yuna can't really make out the words but what she can see is Shane's shaking subsiding, hands fisting tightly into Rozanov's shirt, his breathing going slowly back to normal because - oh. oh - her son is syncing his breaths with Rozanov who, Yuna realises, is taking very exaggerated deep slow breaths of his own so Shane can match them. And then Rozanov turns slightly while still rocking them both back and forth and Yuna sees Shane's face where it's smushed into Rozanov's neck. Sees the look there.

And that's how Yuna realises her son is in love and the man - his years-long rival - he loves must have left in the middle of his award-winning show to come here and pull her son out of a panic attack like there was no place he'd rather be than right here with Yuna's overwhelmed panicked boy in his arms, soothing him until Shane's body relaxes completely into that hold, mumbling that he's fine yet not pulling away and Rozanov makes no move to let go either.

“You are adorable, Shane,” Irina smiles and cups Shane’s cheek as she leans in closer to examine his freckles. “You are perfect for my son.”

Ilya: *very evidently pissed off* “I hate this fucking team”

Shane: “Lemme hear it”

Ilya: “One of these days I will show Hayden Pike where the crawfish hibernate, I swear to fuck. The bastard is so goddamn cocky, he is without a king in the head. So fucking annoying, Hollander!”

Shane:

Ilya:

Shane:

Ilya: “That made no sense in English, did it?”

Once again this is just my read on the show and any input is more than welcome.

13.30 - 13.48 Knock Knock, Who's There?

It took me forever to figure out what was bothering me about this scene. And finally I figured it out. Why is Shane in the shower?

Well, of course he was dirty and needed to shower, but why now? We finish off the last scene with Shane dried and dressed in his civs. Another thing to notice is that his hair looks fluffy and not matted down like if it had dried with sweat in it.

Why is this important? Because it hints that Shane has already showered.

We know for a fact that Shane finished his section of the CCM ad first and that he was already dried and in his civs while Ilya was still on the ice.

We also know from later episodes and scenes that Shane has a thing about being clean so it's doubtful that Shane put on fresh clothes without showering first. So then why is he in the shower when Ilya is finally done and how was it so perfectly timed?

(And even if he didn't shower first that meant he was so keyed up to see Ilya on ice again that he rushed to get back out to see him shoot the rest of the ad and even though he could go to his hotel after and shower there he still choose to do it at the rink).

I think Shane did already shower once, and like we see him waiting to get dressed later in this scene I think he also went to shower again when he noticed Ilya was finished with his section of the scene.

Personally I don't think at this point Shane realizes what he is doing. I think this is all subconscious. He doesn't want his time with Ilya to be over yet so his brain is suddenly like, now would be a great time for another shower, we still feel gross shower shower shower.

I am sure that Ilya recognizes this on some level and the fact that when they both look at each other neither of them is shocked in any way.

Another thing to notice is Shane's position in the shower room.

Shane is almost directly at the front of the shower room and on the entrance side.

Now there isn't really an expectation of privacy in a locker room shower but Shane's placement, when paired with the fact that he didn't need to be here at this point in time to Ilya would probably scream of being extremely forward while at this point Shane doesn't realize all the unconscious signals he is sending.

And if you didn't notice once again it is Shane making the unspoken first move.

13.48 - 14.56 Down the Rabbit Hole

In this section we see the first prolonged instant of Hudson William's superb facial acting. In the next one minute we see Shane go through a form of the five stages of grief that doesn't feel rushed or exaggerated. It fits the character perfectly. I will call it the seven stages of gay panic. And I will never forgive anyone who says Hudson Williams isn't a good actor. Also throughout this section we once again get music that starts of sounding lightly curious and suddenly becomes more intense the moment Ilya starts touching himself

Interest - It hasn't fully clicked here yet but for some reason he can't look away, and at this point he doesn't really think of it as "wrong".

Social Norm Realization - I shouldn't be looking.

Self Realization - But I want to look, I want him to want me to look and I want to be looked at in turn.

Intermission: Being Seen - For anyone who hasn't figured it out or seen it yet that little look down and then eyebrow raise here is Ilya acknowledging that Shane is hard here.

Embaressment - It isn't until Ilya points it out that Shane realizes he is hard and he automatically says, "fuck off" and turns away. This reads far more of embarrassment than of anger

Intermission: Being Seen Pt 2 - Now I've seen most people say pretty much "lol the boi is horny" but I think this is actually much more important than that. Place yourself in Shane's shoes, you're a closeted 18-19 (?) year old boy who has just had a full blown sexual awakening. The worst part? You're naked and the person who made you realize this about yourself is basically right next to you and has seen you get hard. The embarrassment and shame you would feel in that moment would be immense.

If Ilya would have done nothing here Shane would spend the rest of his life paranoid Ilya would out him and would do everything in his power to push down his sexuality until he was so far in the closet he would marry the first woman he got along with.

The only thing that stopped this from happening was Ilya reciprocating Shane's interest in such an unambiguous way. Ilya stays calm, turns to Shane head one and starts touching himself without a lick of shame. And his lack of shame is what makes this whole thing okay to Shane. "If someone like Ilya Rozanov can look at me with lust, can get off on the sight of me, maybe my feelings aren't so wrong."

Whether consciously or not Ilya being so brazen here gives Shane permission to start accepting himself and his desires.

Shock/Anger - This is a little harder to see in just this gif, but when set in the rest of this scene the first few seconds of this gif clearly read as "What the fuck?!" He is shocked by what Ilya is doing, angry that he is being confronted like this. But he's also angry at himself, angry that he wants to keep looking and angry at his body for betraying him.

Intermission: Positioning - The way Ilya is positioning his left hand through this section of the scene is so unnatural for this situation which is why it caught my eye. This is a conscious choice and there is something awkward and vulnerable about it. He isn't posturing in an aggressive way here. His arm is a gentle Question Mark on this whole situation. It reads as, "I want you, and I want this to happen, but if you don't want this all you have to do is tell me." I also think it's important to note that while Ilya is being extremely forward in this moment he also doesn't physically approach Shane. He is showing his interest but giving Shane every possibility to stop this.

Surrender - This is the moment Shane breaks. He allows his eyes to deliberately trail down Ilya's body, this is the moment he knows he can no longer go back from. He can't pretend his reaction was a fluke, he can't pretend that watching Ilya in this moment is the hottest thing he's ever seen. But at the same time he knows what this says about him. This thing he has been hiding from for as long as he can remember is shoved in his face in a way he can no longer escape. He still isn't relaxed but at this point he is giving himself permission to look. Shane feels like he shouldn't be doing this but Ilya has given him permission to watch him, to allow Shane to feel the full force of lust for the first time.

Acceptance - This is the final stage. Shane has accepted how he feels and the situation but with that acceptance comes awareness. Suddenly he has to deal with the logistics of what is happening. You can see the moment of realization of their surroundings and he is quick to say, "Not here." Those two words say so much, "I see you, I want you, I want this, but we can't do this here. This isn't a safe place for this."

Last thing about this scene is the respect for the boundary Shane has just put up. Ilya could have easily pushed here, if Ilya walked over to Shane, Shane would have folded. Shane probably wouldn't have been too upset about it afterward but after a few more strokes Ilya turns and stops.

Saw this mentioned in a post by @infernaleikon But I thought it was worth mentioning but Shane mouths Fuck here (at least thats what it looks like). Just wanted to point it out because it is one of the little things that make the show and character's feel real, there are a bunch of these little things that make it so much more than surface level acting.

14.56 - 15.57 Second Thoughts? I Think Not!

This section opens up with Shane dressed, except for his shoes, sitting on a bench and staring up at the lockers in front of him.

Little easier egg in him putting on his left shoe first like he did in the draft night scene.

What's important to note is that he has the shoe set up to be put on but isn't doing so until the moment Ilya walks around the corner of the lockers. Shane had no intention of leaving the locker room without getting the chance to talk to Ilya.

I wish we had a better view on Ilya's face when he rounds the corner to see Shane still there. I'm sure he hoped Shane would still be there but I can also see him thinking Shane would have run away.

Shane pulls his second shoe out of the locker and fumbles it, letting us in on just how nervous he is. Shane is trying so hard to act like nothing just happened.

I am sure that Shane is thinking to himself that he’s only staying around to make sure they both agree nothing happened but I also think he would know he was lying to himself.

Part of the reason Ilya is so sure Shane doesn't actually want to act like nothing happened is the fact that Shane is still around. I wouldn't be surprised to find out Ilya purposefully took enough time after Shane left the shower to give Shane the option to retreat.

Ilya calling Shane out here makes it so Shane can't just act like nothing happened. Ilya isn't going to let him take half measures here. He isn't going to allow Shane to sit around waiting for him only to act like nothing happened. If Shane had left Ilya would probably never have brought it up again.

Shane could also have easily said something after Ilya says, "Well, you are a really bad liar." But instead there is a whole five seconds of Ilya silently watching Shane before he approaches.

Now a note on the framing of this shot. The lockers on either side of the characters funnel our view towards them, we get metaphorical tunnel vision and the viewer's eyes are directed, like Shane's attention, on Ilya.

I've seen a lot of people say Shane gave Ilya his number without any hesitation but I don't think that's true. Saying that makes it seem like he had no choice or time to think about it. That it was purely a reaction. But in truth there is 7 seconds between Ilya asking the question and Shane answering.

In those seven seconds Shane slowly sits up and looks up at Ilya for a few moments before answering. He knew fully what he was being asked and what the outcome of answering was. He could have easily kept his mouth shut or left but he didn't.

Yes he made a token protest at the start of this scene but he was always going to end up with Ilya tonight at this point.

At this point in his life Shane probably wouldn't be comfortable enough with himself and his newly discovered sexuality to be the one to initiate a hook up but he did stick around to give Ilya the chance to do it for them. (Another point to my Shane actually always starts it theory).

Ilya rolling over his towel here isn't an idle fidget but a silent statement. The action perfectly directs Shane's attention and makes it clear what coming to Shane's room would mean. They aren't going to just talk or watch a game. He is warning Shane in advance that agreeing to meet comes with expectations.

Once again Shane takes a moment to think through his next statement, "I might open."

The "I might open." "I might knock." line could also be a hint at their future respective roles in bed (which I would think is funny).

The look on Shane's face here says, "Oh my god, why did I do that, I can't believe I did that, I can't believe this is happening."

Also another thing, like Ilya's eyebrow raised in the shower, Shane looking to the right and quickly looking away right at the end of this gif (which is also the end of the scene) is Shane looking over at Ilya. Ilya who is now back at his locker and about to get dressed and has just likely dropped his towel.

We get the start of the song Sea Lion Woman - Fiest which I will talk about in my next post. 

Master List

Previous Scene

Next Scene

Discussion: Autism

Discussion: Russia

By @moreloveforjm_