Never Race A Train.

ladies, at which side of the womanhood spectrum are you today: unhinged or tender?

ohhh i DEEPLY regret teaching my cat how to talk

Oh? Would you elaborate?

& it’s technically not a holiday but everyone’s on vacation and you can’t get anything done

happy liminal spacemas

If you’re like sleep spooning a centaur and they roll over in bed do you just die

sleep on her back, then you’ll just roll off if she shifts

Centaur Comfort Mattress™: The Horse Hole Keeps Your Bones Safe

I’m honestly so glad Tumblr discusses things like “How can I comfortably sleep with a centaur?” and “What kind of chairs would dragons have?”

If I was ever slated to meet Donald Trump, I’d stuff my pockets with those little hand sanitizer bottles. Every time he’d shake my hand, I’d immediately take one out and squirt the whole bottle. Make a whole spectacle of it, sanitizing my entire right arm. But only after shaking his hand; I’d also be sure to shake the hands of as many other people as possible, but never even think about hand sanitizer until SCROTUS is reaching towards me. Hell, maybe as we’re going in for the shake I’d already have my left hand in my pocket, very dramatically digging for a hand sanitizer so I could be cleaned the moment our hands part. Can you imagine the fucking headlines? The drama? I’d be the target of Turnip’s angry tweets for months. His lapdogs nazis voters would be outraged, screaming obsenities for DARING to attempt voodoo on their god bc they don’t understand cleanliness or germ theory. It would be awesome. I’d be an international hero for washing my hands.

Can this year just end

lets be honest with ourselves for a moment: who doesnt love a good fruit from time to time

Did everyone just…. forget how to create, all of a sudden? Disney pumping out the fourth remake in a row? Movies are like 70% sequels? Stories in games being just bad if they exist at all? Haven’t had a book get hyped in like half a decade? Are we okay? What’s going on?

very tired and stupid

mood ring contact lenses

this reads like a shit post but honestly this slaps