I have successfully lost control of my life.

unmute this shit. Now.

From now on all my fanfic titles will be worded like click bait YOU WONT BELIEVE HOW THESE ASSHOLES FALL IN LOVE THIS TIME

HE AND HIS BEST FRIEND PRETENDED TO BE MARRIED TO SAVE MONEY ON RENT, WHAT HAPPENS NEXT WILL WARM YOUR HEART

5 TIMES YOUR OTP DENIED THEY’VE SECRETLY BEEN IN LOVE FOR YEARS AND ONE TIME THEY DIDN’T. THE REASON WHY WILL SHOCK YOU!

vampires always like “i could kill you if I wanted” like? yeah? so could another human being. so could a dog. so could a dedicated duck. you arent special

what the fuck is the moral of the three little pigs, anyhow. people without access to the best materials are going to die? familial bonds mean nothing in the face of an impending crisis? wolves are dicks and pigs are stupid? i have no fucking clue

I just would like to thank everyone who ever reblogs this so that it somehow ends up back on my dash because I usually need the reminder (especially the drinking water one)

Tumblr Code.

This is an absolute tumblr relic. I feel like an archaeologist right now. This is incredible that this is on my dash.

And yet there are those who doubt him and question how he gets around the entire world in one night…

santa’s creed

this has been on queue since january 2nd and it was worth every minute

oh my god. this is so freaking cool and hilarious.

Low fat yo

is no one going to talk about 1/3 fewer cries than the leg

fat free yort

Weig Waters ened

Perving