Jump Start My Kaleidoscope Heart

The first-edition of The Joy of Gay Sex, published in 1977, declared, “Vegetable shortening may be the best lubricant, since it is not only greasy but also digestible”[4] Such a statement perhaps gives new meaning to the companies boastful declarations that “Its digestible” and “Crisco has been making life in the kitchen more delicious for years.”  Similarly, in the 1978 sex manual The Advocate Guide to Gay Health, Crisco even earned an entry in the book’s index.  Discussions of the shortening’s use as an anal lubricant indicate its popularity, with statements such as: “The lubricant, typically the cultic Crisco, must be copious.”[5]  In fact, Crisco was so synonomus with gay sex that discos and bars around the world took on the name, such as Crisco Disco in New York City, which was one of the premiere clubs during the 1970s and early 1980s.  Other clubs or bathhouses, such as Club Z in Seattle, even featured murals with Crisco.  Thus, Crisco was conversely also one of many things that led to the formation of gay identities during the 20th century.

from this essay: http://www.columbia.edu/~sf2220/TT2007/web-content/Pages/drew2.html

*Jean stubs his toe*

because there was next to zero info about the clone wars, people went wild with their theories. one theory was that the clones were on the bad side and that Obi-Wan fought against the clones (which we know to be wrong in both ways, as Obi-Wan fought alongside the clones, and there was no good or bad side as both sides were being controlled and manipulated by Palpatine). but my favorite is the theory that Obi-Wan was himself a clone designated with the code OB1. which is honestly just hilarious to imagine. just a bunch of Ewan McGregors running around in clone armor swinging lightsabers and shit on the battlefield.

Did he have some high-level idea of the backstory? Maybe a half-filled notebook with some scribbled bullet points? Entirely possible.

I cannot explain how unlikely more Star Wars movies felt back when they were writing the books, and I think that if there was extant lore that could have been shared with the appropriate authors about the Clone Wars, it would have been.

Huh. A generational divide.

Like, I don't actually mind watching videos if I know what the video is about and I want to watch it and I have the time to do so. If a friend sends me a video and describes it, I can then watch the video if it appeals to me.

But I have a hard time processing audio and visual at the same time. It's why I watch EVERYTHING with subtitles, because it's the only way I'll be able to understand everything. And a LOT, dare I say MOST, videos people make either don't have captions, or the captions are "auto" added by some kind of algorithm, and aren't correct. I'm 100% guilty of this! But most of my videos are cute animal videos that don't have audio words that matter. It's different when it's, like, an instructional video that is trying to explain something, and I need to know what's going on and the only way to do that is to watch/listen at the same time.

I also don't have a huge amount of spare time that I'm not doing or supposed to be doing or about to be doing something else in. I don't scroll algorithmic content out of boredom. I don't trawl the internet for videos. I follow like 30 accounts on tumblr, and at least a third of them are secondary accounts for the others, and some of them literally post maybe once a month, some less. That's all I have time for keeping track of. Most of the 'stuff I'm doing online' is research or learning, and I want to be able to skim to see what's there, to know if it is going to be worth my time to slow down and carefully read. With how search results are these days, half the links I click are garbage and a quick scan of the page can mean a huge difference in wasted time. I can't quick scan a video to find out if I'm about to waste the next 10 minutes of my life watching it through or not, I just have to waste the time and be mad about it after. And instead of doing that, I will simply not watch the video.

With videos, sure there are some things that are better or only able to be shown properly on video (a good example, I think, would be something like learning sign language... actually seeing someone do the motions is way easier than reading text describing hand motions. I've done instructional videos on how to ear tag mice and how to gavage feed peafowl and how to clip a chicken's beak, where describing the motions may not necessarily make sense.... but in those cases having a text description AND the video is still best). But if it's something that doesn't NEED to be a video-only thing, but someone made it a video, and I don't understand something, then I'm stuck rewinding over and over again, trying to get to the right spot. And "rewind" functions on internet videos are atrocious, if you've ever tried to use them there's no precision to it. So if (WHEN) I rewind a few seconds too far back, my brain immediately goes "whoops too far we know this part skip it" and half the time only tunes back to focus after what I needed to hear already passed. Which means i miss it. Again. And again. and again. And then I get frustrated at having to deal with a video. If it was just fucking WORDS on the PAGE, I could re-read it until I get it.

And that kind of experience isn't necessarily generational. It's probably /correlated/ because folks my age and older didn't grow up with endless video feeds from around the world. Instructions were printed where we could read them so that's how our brains got wired to absorb info. But someone with audio processing issues like me, or that is deaf/HoH, isn't necessarily old. Someone that is blind or has tracking issues or attention issues or can't read or whatever that makes watching videos easier for them isn't necessarily young. And people with just general preferences can fall into any generation.

Human 1: (points at animal) What’s that?

Human 2: Cow.

Human 1: (points at bug) What’s that?

Human 2: … little cow.

Human 1: But it’s so much smaller. Who would have use for such a small cow?

Also! Stress tolerance is such an important skill that having a learning disability in that area is a major symptom of a whole lot of other disabilities/mental illnesses! Struggling with it is a huge part of life! It sucks!

Am I saying everyone with misophonia needs to listen to chewing noises all day? No. But you need to find ways to tolerate it enough that you don't treat others like shit if they make a mouth noise near you.

No, you don't have to read the fic with your trigger tags. But you do need to be able to handle scrolling past the tags without being upset.

It is hard! But not having it also makes you so so so easy to manipulate. That grandma is racist AF because her mom raised her to be uncomfortable around black people and she never fought that discomfort. Trans people make so many cis people uncomfortable and that discomfort turns into bigotry real fast.