Jump Start My Kaleidoscope Heart

nsfw: andrew blowing kevneil at the same time because both can def fit (barely) and yes he’s confined to just the tips when he wants to have them both in his mouth but andrew makes it work for him: swirling his tongue around the heads, taking a second to play with their slits before he commits to one and swallows them down with natural ease, his hand jerking off whichever one he isn’t servicing at the time. andrew staring up at them with hazel eyes that have a quiet but raging fire inside them. kevneil trying to focus on kissing each other but the way their third is doling out pleasure to them both simultaneously has their legs trembling and their hands clutching onto each other’s, soft moans filling the bedroom while they each try hard not to lose themselves and cum too soon. andrew switching from neil to kevin and the way that he licks the underside of kevin’s shaft has kevin bucking his hips up a little, causing andrew to squeeze neil’s dick a little meanly in his hand. neil hissing and telling kev to act right and the only reason kevin doesn’t snap back and they don’t argue is because they both know that if they start, andrew will stop. two men who andrew has wrapped around his finger, nevermind the fact that this group blow sesh was andrew’s idea solely for their pleasure. praises and sighs & lil grunts falling from kevin and neil’s lips as they try desperately to chase each other’s mouths, wanting to be doing something as well but not daring to reach down and touch andrew’s head because they know better. andrew switching off, going back & forth between his two striker boyfriends and when he’s decided he’s had enough of edging them, he takes both their tips to rest on his tongue as he jerks them & kevneil both cum at the same time, hips shuttering and neil tipping his head back to curse at the ceiling while kevin hangs his head forward and scrambles to clutch the sheets, knuckles going white under the pure pressure of how much his orgasm makes him tense up. andrew milking them for every last drop and once the duo come back to their senses, of course one is getting andrew water while the other is finding something to help wipe his mouth, andrew’s lips shiny with spit but completely cum-free because of course he swallowed it all; spitters are quitters, ya know.

But now I’m envisioning Mitch McConnell, home of the world’s most punchable face, lying in a hospital bed and declaring that he is Mrs. Nesbitt.

[lawyer voice] mothers and fuckers of the jury-

DO YOU KNOW HOW OFTEN I THINK ABOUT THIS POST??? IM IN LAW SCHOOL THIS POST IS GOING TO RUIN MY LIFE

reblog to ruin a law student’s life

Hi. I’m a trial attorney now and every last one of you is a motherfucker.

You know that thing would eat you if you died, right? *pointing to the false image of you that others perceive*

If that’s what essence of gelfling is like no wonder there aren’t any more

i was thinking about why i find writer!andrew so compelling, and yes, there is the surface-level reason that the eccentric, antisocial writer stereotype just fits him so well. it's too funny to think of andrew pouring over his work for days on end (while complaining to his cats about how much he hates writing) and ignoring calls from his agent begging him to please god finish the draft by the deadline this time. on a deeper level though, i think it has to do with the fact that andrew is fundamentally misunderstood by everyone except neil, renee, and his therapist, and doesn't go out of his way to make himself understood. were andrew to take up writing, or any form of artistic expression, he would have a way to communicate his rich and complex internal world while still maintaining a layer of self-removal. he would have the chance to be understood, to be seen, by some of the people who encounter his work, because they wouldn't be seeing andrew minyard the monster or andrew minyard the victim, only a vague sensibility behind the words on the page. my favorite writer!andrew fic is Why do we feel alone? by Leocante on ao3. it's a brilliant exploration of what writing could mean to andrew, and just a brilliant fic in general.

I absolutely headcanon that Andrew takes up writing after retiring from exy. He writes true crime and thrillers (or as he puts it, true crime and fake crime).

AFTG in modern time and its videos titled “Neil’s Josten being unhinged for 34 minutes straight” then there’s “Kevin Day being gay for Jeremy Knox for over 6 minutes” “Jean Moreau and Jeremy Knox being adorable for 27 minutes and 38 seconds.” Lots of “Andrew Minyard being iconic for 8 minutes not so straight”. how can I forget, “Jean Moreau forgetting English core” and finally “Neil Josten vs. Press duty (feat. Kevin day)”.

Andrew isn’t tactile? bullshit! at least not when it comes to Neil. I absolutely refuse to believe that the man who, in the very first book, was already brushing his fingers across Neil’s back hard enough to “send goosebumps down his spine,” and who was already fighting the urge to kiss him by the second book, somehow isn’t tactile. I refuse to believe he wouldn’t finish his coffee, toss the mug into the sink, and, on his way past Neil, casually catch him by the waist to steady himself just long enough to press a quick kiss to his cheek. I refuse to believe he wouldn’t stand behind Neil while he washes the dishes, lazily draping an arm around his waist, absentmindedly tapping his fingertips against Neil’s thigh as he waits. or quietly take Neil’s hand into his own, trace the familiar lines of his scars with his thumb, and finish by pressing a few soft kisses against his knuckles. I refuse to believe he wouldn’t pull himself closer before they fall asleep just to bury his face in the crook of Neil’s neck and breathe him in. or idly trace little, meaningless shapes across Neil’s knee with the tip of his finger during yet another team meeting. do I think Andrew is more tactile than Neil? no. not in the way people usually mean it. Neil’s affection is obvious. It’s visible, instinctive, impossible to miss. Andrew’s is quiet. It’s found in barely-there touches, fleeting brushes of his hand, small gestures that almost anyone else would overlook. Neil always notices.

i understand its chronic pain but every day seems a bit excessive

Hey. Why isn’t the moon landing a national holiday in the US. Isn’t that fucked up? Does anyone else think that’s absurd?

It was a huge milestone of scientific and technological advancement. (Plus, at the time, politically significant). Humanity went to space! We set foot on a celestial body that was not earth for the first time in human history! That’s a big deal! I’ve never thought about it before but now that I have, it’s ridiculous to me that that’s not part of our everyday lives and the public consciousness anymore. Why don’t we have a public holiday and a family barbecue about it. Why have I never seen the original broadcast of the moon landing? It should be all over the news every year!

It’s July 20th. That’s the day of the moon landing. Next year is going to be the 54th anniversary. I’m ordering astronaut shaped cookie cutters on Etsy and I’m going to have a goddamn potluck. You’re all invited.

Hey. Hey. Tumblr. Ides of March ppl. We can do this

Hell yeah moon holiday

Ooh coming up we should celebrate

PITCH: We call it Moon Day, and then every 7 years when it falls on a Monday, that's an even BIGGER deal and we call that Moon Day Monday and go absolutely apeshit about it (the next Moon Day Monday is in 2026 so we have a couple trial runs first)

MOON DAY MOON DAY MOON DAY

moon day is 20th July!!!

Scheduling this a day earlier to remind you all and myself about the Moon Day tomorow!

Happy moon day to all who celebrate

This is your reminder to prep for Moon Day on July 20th.

MOON DAY MONDAY THIS MONTH NOT A DRILL!!!!!