just once i wanna put the blade of my sword under a pretty boy’s chin and tilt their head up so i can see both fear and arousal in their eyes is that too much to ask

I want George Washington replaced with Dolly Parton on the dollar bill and I want people to call it a Dolly bill and no sir I have not been smoking this idea is reasonable and sound thank you and good day.

oh my god two words in that just UNIVERSAL LANGUAGE

All hope is lost so quickly I can’t stop laughing.

danish tv is the best thing ever

“Okay :(”

He went straight to Acceptance. He didn’t even go through the five stages of grief. He just started at Acceptance.

i do whatever the fuck i want to do

I would go to this link regularly to make sure the sliders haven’t reset, too.

I’m actually fucking dead. I just… I can’t stop watching this. That fucking triple take at the end gets me every time

Oh my gosh… Friend…