Sarahiscoffee

auto immune disorders happen when the immune system ignores regulatory factors and begins attacking healthy bodily tissues, due to what scientists refer to as "sheer love of the game"

I wish people were as scared of getting into a car accident as they are of being true crime'd. Maybe then they wouldn't be on their phones while driving.

True crime girlies will be like "wtf I would never go for a walk at night, what if the hash slinging slasher gets me" and then use their knees to merge with no turn signal in front of a semi while applying makeup with both hands

save me, rice mixed with some bullshit

I think it's actually essential to children's moral development to be exposed to short stories moderately beyond their reading level where a bunch of fucked up shit happens and then instead of offering a moral lesson or any sort of emotional or narrative resolution it just ends.

transition timeline but about halfway through im inexplicably a cackling green witch for a few months before continuing as normal

These employees are doing important and laudable work in response to being forced into a bad situation but I’m glad they still took the opportunity to call themselves “United Wizards”

your cat was an honor to see in the window

if you've ever pet more than a few dogs you'd Know what dog residue is

taylor swift would release a 30th special edition of the tortured poets department to block the vampire lestats spot on the billboard chart and within 24 hrs travis kelce would go missing