people throw rocks at things that shine

“Now that that’s Charles finally sorted, I get to focus all of my attention on Amelia.”

“I was trying something new. I’ve been told I need to be more approachable.”

“Oh no, approachability isn’t about delicacy, it’s about kindness.”

“What?” Edgar laughs, bouncing with excitement before he kisses Sarah. “You’re sure?” he asks. “You’re positive?”

Sarah laughs, too, is still laughing when he kisses her. “I am very positive. I even took a test.”

“I suppose so. I hadn’t really thought about it being a security problem. Though we are pretty– pretty high up. Physically.”

“Well things aren’t supposed to be stolen, so something’s gone wrong. Why do you think it happened?”

“Oh, c’mon. Don’t spend too much time worrying about that. If they take after Edgar, they’ll be mistaken for tall, disgruntled children. So, either way you won’t be the odd one out.” she bit back, halfheartedly. “Oh, it’s my favorite topic, when talking about attractive people having sex. Particularly when it doesn’t involved stitches.” she almost gagged as she said it. “Wouldn’t be the first time.”

“Now Tavie, I’m beginning to suspect that you’re not fond of my husband.” Sarah comments lightly, then laughs. “Well no, no one wants to have sex when stitches are involved, they’re rather painful. But after they heal it’s not nearly as big a deal as you’re making it out to be.” Sarah shakes her head and sighs as if Tavia were a willful child.

“No, I don’t want to bother anyone. It’s just– just some stationary. I reported the missing files, but those are just Quidditch statistics.”

“Oh but you should. At the very least they need to know there’s a problem with security.”

“Aren’t genetics a bitch.” she huffed, though she didn’t exactly disagree with the statement. genetics had royally fucked her. “Stitches are a big factor. Well uh, I’m just going to have to erase that from my brain. Forever.” the thought of sarah and edgar having a wonderful life together AND quality sex just made her sick. “Well, my hands have a wandering reputation. I can’t make promises like that.”

“Apparently.” Sarah doesn’t sound nearly as disgruntled as Tavia. “I can never decide if I want the girls to take after me so I don’t look like the odd one out in both my families or if I want them to take after Edgar so they don’t have to go through life being mistaken for a child.” Sarah giggles. “Oh but Tavie, I thought you loved talking about sex.” She shrugs. “On your head be it.” But she’s joking, really, and she’s sure Tavia is, too.

Edgar barely has a second to remove his jacket before Sarah’s right there in his face. He doesn’t get to say hi, he doesn’t get to kiss her in greeting, just blinks as she makes the announcement. It’s something he’s heard her say before, but only– oh. 

“Like you have a paperclip in your mouth or like set another place at the table kind of tasting metal?”

Sarah opens her mouth wide, making a show of lifting her tongue. “No paperclip!”

“Most people tend to gain a little tolerance with age. Seems genetics have fucked you again.” she commented, her voice getting dryer as the interaction went on. she waved down the bartender to get her a refill. she’d need one. “The coolest? Shit, that bar must be low. You’ve given up the integrity of your vagina to screaming, pooping terrors.” she snorted. “I can’t deny my true nature. Though I’m sure your auror husband wouldn’t love the idea of me staring at your arse.” 

“So I’m unfairly short and I can’t drink for shit. Thanks, Mom.” Sarah’s father and brother are both quite tall, to put it mildly, and even her grandmother had been closer to 6 feet than 5, so Sarah blames her diminutive stature on her absentee mother. “I don’t really know how one measures the integrity of a vagina, but three kids later the quality of the sex has only gone up.” Sarah waggles her eyebrows in a comically suggestive expression. She waves away Tavia’s concerns. “Edgar isn’t the jealous type, as long as you keep your hands to yourself you’ll be fine.”