Hello, My name is Kocho (though I go by so many names because I cant keep my usernames in check) and I am mainly in the Death Note (DN) fandom though from time to time I am multifandom and will post about my other interests.
𓆝 Speaking of interests, these are all the fandoms I’m in: Death Note (obviously), Demonslayer, Attack On Titan, Alien Stage (Zomst), Hannibal, Silmarillion (anything Tolkien related), Nana, Bungo Stray Dogs, Claymore, HxH, Alice In Borderland ect
𓆝 Ships: honestly I will ship anything I am probably the least picky person out there when it comes to ships. But those who frequent my blog are probably familiar with my favourites.
More about me….
𓆝I go by she/her I like to write fanfics on ao3, make art and play music. I'm also a lesbian, and I have been for as long as I can remember. I’m a Canadian university student studying full time and working part time but I try to stay relatively active online.
𓆝 I’m also chronically ill. A little fun fact about me is that is what got me into my main fandom, Death Note. I read a fanfic called white chocolate roses by ruruka and I felt very represented because L has a similar condition to mine. I highly reccomend the fic.
About my own fanfics, I have plenty. I have one ao3 account, though it is divided into two pseuds based on the theme of what I write.
𓆝The first pseud is SapphicKocho: named just like my username, this has the most amount of fics, mostly from Death Note, though some from Kny and BSD. The fanfic I would reccomend the most there is:
𓆝 The Thorn at His Side: this is my ongoing lawlight longfic that I started writing two years ago. It’s my baby, and my favourite passion project.
𓆝 My second pseuds is Dove, where I post dead dove fanfiction or fanfics I don’t particularly like all that much (ahem-sustenance). They will often contain heavy trigger warnings. Luckily you can just filter out that pseud if that’s not your thing. I also will rarely promote fics I write on that account here.
𓆝 I also have a twt account, but it is largely nsfw, and I don’t want any minors following me there. I sometimes reblog nsfw things here as well from time to time, but I try to keep it intentionally vague, unless I’m linking a smut fic I wrote.
My ask box and dms are always open, keep in mind that I love to ramble and talk so if you ask about one of my interests, I will return your energy.
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hullo! I wanted to ask since you are now in the stages of writing a few parts of Hortus Conclusus, if you’re willing to share a few line or WIP scenes?? Totally don’t have to if they’re not ready yet but I’d love any breadcrumb you’d give :3
Helloooo, thank you so much for this ask!! Right now, I don't have the best scenes to show, considering right now I'm writing a lot of smut for the Hortus Conclusus fanfic (sue me haha), but I do have a 1k+ snippet I can show you that doesn't give any major spoilers, even though it's unedited and has quite a few grammar mistakes:
L’s mouth tasted like verdigris, and it was only then when chasing the flavor of rust with his parched pink tongue that he realized he had actually licked blood from his own lip. He had bitten it, as he watched. He filled his aching lungs with recycled air from his thankfully air-conditioned ‘chamber’ and exhaled, sighing just for the sake of filling the dizzying hush that came with being completely and utterly alone.
L, luckily, did not have any chains around his wrists, a small mercy Light had granted, though he suspected it was less out of the generosity he held not-so-close to his chest, but rather that he had given up on trying to restrain those appendages weeks ago, a concession to his fruitless thrashing. That being said, he did have a chain around his ankle, akin to those medieval prisoners in oil paintings at the Louvre, a cold kiss from his 21st century jailer. A witch, chained to an iron weight and cast into the raging river. Crime? Heresy against God, communion with the devil.
Well, that was what he imagined witches had felt. Though, they were burned at their pine-wood stakes. He wondered what it felt like. To burn. He knows Beyond knows, the sensation of flesh splitting from thermal cinder, into blossoms of blisters, skin recoiling into layers of yellow-bellied fat that melts as smoke siphons into the cold contaminated air. The body discovering, second by millisecond, exactly how much agony it could possibly take. Ash turning white, candle wax under orange flame.
Sometimes L suspected he would've made an excellent witch. Him too, he had always been an outsider, ‘abnormal’ and that is indeed what the angry mob of peasantry went after with worn steel pitchforks and torches, after those women and men who were peculiar, and oftentimes, intelligent. He fits the mark. Bullseye.
Even as a child, his body felt like an animal, that couldn't be domesticated, even unto himself. Watari tried, but even then he never fit into the mold of 'human,' sitting the way he did, purple bruised knees tucked tight to his accordion ribbed chest. Bare scalded feet on the flat seats of shellacked chairs. Sucking on fingers, dipping them, saliva-coated, back into the brown sugar, the icing sugar, the maple sugar the flavored red and pink ‘sugar.’ Black pigmented hair like smoke bush erupting in every direction, trying to flee his dandruff scalp.
His skin, untouched by the sun's lustrous beams, possessed a thin translucence; blue veins ghosted beneath it like roots, beneath snow, branches the shade of blue mist shrubs in winter.
He could picture the accusations, embarrassingly, with ease. Look at him, Something isn't right. He isn't like us. He could hear the words from the Malleus Maleficarum, the Hammer of Witches; "we, the aforementioned judge. assign to you such-and-such a day for the continuation of the questioning under torture, so that the truth should come from your own mouth."
Light once said he was the devil. L, the one apostate against Light’s reign. He always knew how to flatter him, giving him such a grand poetic title. But if he is the devil, where is his legion? his vermillion trident, his all-consuming fire, whether it burns him or not? All he has is a chain, enough rope to hang himself with. Chiaroscuro, a miniature reliquary in the graphite dark.
Now, how he wished he could see the chief of the NPA, Soichiro Yagami, and say to him in a told-you-so manner; “Look at what your son has become.”
Oh, right. Soichiro is dead. He killed himself a month into his own son's confinement. What did Light stand to gain from that arrangement? Did he really think his foolhardy father, after a month of isolation from his own family, brought on by his own family would accept his son with large open arms? After spending his year and sacrificing his healthy brown hair for grey caused by strangulating stress from trying to catch him, the very thing he came home and embraced?
But then Light pointed the finger, and turned the blame. Say he was the one who had corrupted him first. What a load of bullshit that was. Punctuated words wrought from his unshakable self-righteousness L once could admire, once could relate to, before the 19 year old who had a fetish for religious iconography decided he wanted to try his sleight of hand, a hand that's never done a hard day of labour, at playing God.
L does not believe in God. But he believes in monsters, and has known that ever since he was the seasoned age of six years old, and a monster told him he was ripe for the plucking. He had the eyes of a man and the ironed robes of a priest. The man-thing said God loves everyone, including him, all he had to do was prove it. The priest smelled a bit like frankincense, but that was ultimately overpowered by his ‘Givenchy Gentleman’ cologne. L remembered this because the smell stayed in his crooked nose for years.
L’s never had a good relationship with that particular supreme being, as if he could ever have a relationship with something that didn't exist. Most of the kids at Wammy’s didn't either, he certainly wasn’t special in that regard. He recalls like it was yesterday the time one of the staffers, a Jehovah's witness who had come from the sun-bleached landscapes of rural America to the gothic rain soaked Winchester of all places, tried to hand the children pamphlets.
Beyond, the customary suspect, riled them all up to start a bonfire in the courtyard using the cheaply photo-copied leaflets. It was a small act of apostasy, that felt, for a moment, like power, like they were all, god. In that regard, amongst many other traits they unfortunately shared in common, he understood pampered golden boy Light Yagami.
But he vowed to appear not to, because it would be cruel to Light, for cruelty's sake. Light had levelled the playing field to granulated dust, so L had no choice but to follow the same philosophy he does, 'an eye for an eye'. In his defense, Light played out his capture like a Norwegian fairytale, where a troll-king locks the princess in a tower, seemingly with the goal of being stuck with him forever.
Only if the princess was an ugly 25 year old man and the troll was a beautiful self-proclaimed deity. In those stories, the princess always outwits the beast, or is saved. L can only hope the source material stays accurate when translated to real life.
Thank you again for the ask! I've been having a lot of fun experimenting with this new writing style.
I had to edit the post to make it shorter since the original snippet I was going to show was too long, I also don’t know why it’s formated that way, it’s all one continuous scene but when I tried making it a quote it broke. Oh well, that’s what I get for trying to use tumblr on my phone.
Now that the official dub is out, I’m thinking about Banana Fish again and frankly almost crying out of sheer dislike towards the author due to how sinister the ending was. God. How is the author was able to write such good commentary on American politics in the 80s-90s, the effects of the Vietnam war, on how drugs are manufactured by the elite and also write such beautiful friendships + relationships between the characters yet make an ending SO fucking disrespectful to survivors of SA and trafficking. And just rub it in peoples faces….its beyond me.
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I want to talk about Kanao. Can I talk about Kanao? She's my favorite character, I wish Gotouge passed me the pen when he was writing kny, I could have written her so much better.
was it casual when i became your bodyguard while working as a double agent and made you trust me enough that you allowed me to deliver you into a situation that led to your death
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Okay now that I know you read Nights and got introduced to Beyond because of that fic I’m very curious to ask how that fic shaped your own headcanons and characterizations of him :) Also what was your favorite chapter?? If you have multiple feel free to rant about them, I loved Chapter 7 as that was when things became off the rails and it was incredible :D
Thank you so much for asking this question, I LOVE talking about Nights by youremyqueen, especially Beyond's characterization in that fic!! Since I read Night's before I read LABB, my characterization of Beyond is much more influenced by that fanfic then the actual canon.
I think what I take the most inspiration from it for my own headcanons for BB, is the way Beyond talks, and his revels in cruelty, the fact he isn't very sympathetic, and how he is a source for most of L's fucked up issues. Firstly, when it comes to the way Beyond talks in Nights, his dialouge is VERY long-winded, and doesn't know when to shut up. And most of the times, what he is saying only makes half-sense, which makes it even better. All while also being insanely witty, enough that the reader, and the characters around him, can't stop listening to what he has to say. I think I have a dozen quotes in my screenshot folder of just dialouge lines from him from Night's.
However, in LABB, though he certainly is witty, he doesn't ramble like he does in out of pocket ways I especially enjoy in the fic. I also like to think that he has a way of speaking that makes him magnetic, characters around him cant help but like it. I love highly influential characters, especially unorthodox ones.
Another thing I like is Nights is that he is a sadist (also a masochist, lets be honest) and enjoys inflicting it. In LABB we don't really know if he enjoyed the killings, all we know is that 1. he did the killings for the purpose of getting L's attention, and 2. he did it out of curiosity, because for the third killing, Beyond Birthday's goal was to find out if a human can die of an internal hemorrhage without rupturing any organs, and so he then drugged and beat Backyard Bottomslash's (I will never get over that name) left arm without breaking the skin. I see in some fics, people write Beyond as hesitant towards the killings, only doing it out of necessity to get to L, while not actually being particularly happy carrying them out. Now that is an interesting interpretation, I don't personally subscribe to it, I much prefer him killing out of both curiosity AND to satisfy his inner cruelty. Like we see in Nights.
And though I think Beyond canonically is a sympathetic character, he was clearly groomed by Wammy's and forced to live in the shadow of L as his copy, which pushed him to do alot of what he does, I much prefer when he is less sympathetic. I mean, Mello, canonically feels sympathy for him in LABB. Even I feel a little sympathy for him in the canon. But what I like about Nights, is that we can see Beyond was always a little fucked up. I mean, he certainly had trauma that shaped his worldview, but ever since him and L were kids, he was causing ALOT of chaos. I really like characters like that, I mean just look at Light.
I always like when Beyond's crimes outweigh any justification for why he did it. I also like that even though he is not a sympathetic character in Nights, he is easily one of the most likable in that story, he is one of the main drivers of the plot, and is still ridiculously entertaining. I like when authors can write a likable character without making them sympathetic. (oh and quick thought here, I also like how Nights plays into the supernatural aspect of him, making it so he cant die, and how many of the ways the prose describes him are uncanny. One of my favorite ways the fic describes Beyond is in this line: "B's grin is spreading, macabre, hellish-he looks like Bosch's Garden of Earthly delights personified in semi-human form...")
And lastly, I like how he is quite literally what shaped L to be who he is in the present day in that fic. I take a lot of inspiration in my own fics of Beyond being the main source of trauma for L. Since L is my favorite character, (and I love to whump my favorite characters), having someone like Beyond be L's trauma personified in physical form is great for me. Its also why I adore the aspects of the story that delve into flashbacks of L and B's childhood. Its why I love to write my own scenes for what I imagine B and L's childhood was like and insert them in random moments in my own fic(s).
This also leads into your other question about my favorite chapter, and that being chapter 23, the devil you did. I love how L is upset that Beyond is there to rescue him (sort of), and the way the prose is written where his childhood/past blends into the present, making everything disorientated, is PERFECT. I also like how you don't really ever get a full picture of L and B's childhood together (if we are only thinking of Night's and not the other fics in the series like and then come mornings, which I also still love), so your able to come up with your own interpretation for the things that happened. It's awesome. And then Beyond and L take turns trying to beat each other up, so that automatically makes it high on the list for me. I especially like when Mello walks in since they are taking too long only too see L absolutely beating the shit out of Beyond while the other is grinning. I really like how Mello mistakes Beyond for L there. And then Wedy, Mello, B and L all drive off on the most awkward car ride of all time, which really is the cherry on top (I adore how much of a key player Wedy is in the fic as well).
I mean, I have a lot of favorite chapters, so its really tough to choose, but like you mentioned, chapter 7 is also one of my favorites, with Aiber beating up Light on L's command, and L having this ongoing bit about lying about his childhood by starting it off by copying popular books like Oliver Twist. That's just sooooo funny to me. I also love the chapter where Light tries to kill L, fails, then laughs at L for getting scared while he himself is also reeling from the scare of L leaving him, trying to 'escape.'
And then my other favorite chapter, or should I say "batch" of chapters is when Beyond is brought to the task force headquarters. I love people reacting to him. And my favorite part is when L realizes B is missing and he's going to go after Light in his cell because COME ON L what did you expect? He kept talking about Light in front of Beyond, brought him to the same place Light was vulnerable at, and didn't realize that Beyond's jealous ass was immediately going to go try and harm him?
Oh and I know this post is getting really long 🫣, but another thing I love about Beyond's characterization is the fact he keeps coming back alive. He will always make some ridiculous comment too when he does so, it never fails to make me laugh.
also, since I went looking, I found the bookmark I made a few months after reading Night's for the first time.
thanks again for the ask, and giving me the chance to ramble! :DD
huh....rambling....sounds like someone else I know....
hi!!!!!!! thanks for this long in depth post on nights!b, it's so cool to see stuff like this even after all these years <3
just wanted to mention bc i'm not sure most ppl know this, but i also hadn't read LABB when i wrote most of nights. i think i read it at some point in the process? and i was like NAH, i like my headcanon beyond better. and the inspiration and origin of my beyond was actually from another fic, which i read before i even really knew who beyond birthday was or where he came from. my characterization, L & B's abusive childhood, wammy's lore in general all come from this fic/universe (which sadly no longer exists on the internet anymore but you might be able to find someone with PDF of it if you dig deep enough.)
the series was called "the redeemer series." pt 1, "redeemer," didn't really have B in it at all although he's mentioned a little bit. it's post series lawlight & matt/mello & mello/light (???!! YEAH) pt. 2 was called "2 B or not 2 B" (lol i knoooow) and it was the "team goes to wammy's to investigate mysterious fires and weird incidents and gets caught up in a crazy beyond birthday murder spree + l lawliet trauma flashback bonanza" episode. "2 B" is in a lot of ways the blueprint for so much of the nights extended universe (it has beyond birthday's spooky daughter, vague insp for kira in all saints. even how wammy's looks in nights-verse is based on how it looks in the redeemer-verse. even L's dirty and overstuffed attic bedroom is fully lifted from it.)
that all said, 2 B was, i have no reservations in saying, 100000% more problematic than nights (yes, even tho nights is highly problematic) and truly not very well written at all. like the prose itself in redeemer-verse is completely corny epithet laden early 2000s purple fanfic prose. but i read this entire (ten billion word, or that's what it felt like) fanfic series when i was 16 and it had THE most formative effect on me. most of my dn characterizations derive from it on some level & the extremely toxic wuthering heights esque romanticization of abusive relationships which is so essential to og nights comes from it. in it, beyond is even more evil, violent, sadistic and irredeemable than he is in nights verse and also just as funny, fruity and weird. for all its flaws, it was really such a bizarre, irreverent and fetishy piece of literature for me to attach to as a young person and i don't even know who i'd be without it!!!!!!!
one of my favoritest scenes ever from the hinterland doctrine (quote under cut)
"This is grim. Look at me breaking all the rules and stinking the place out. I'll be lucky if I'm not completely naked by Thursday. I have my passport and my wallet and I have me. I'll be fine."
"L, I'm just pointing out that you should put this off until tomorrow and pack like a normal person."
"I'll buy new clothes when I get there."
"You'll buy awful clothes. You'll wear tweed three-piece suits and mustard coloured ties with pink shirts, I know it. Everyone there wears fucking tweed!"
"Oh, Light," he laughs.
"What?"
"Nothing. I just love you, that's all."
Since its Wip Wednesday, I'm going to update people on how my Hortus Conclusus fic is going (sorry, I have been working on The Thorn At His Side, just less so). I feel like the fanfic is coming along much better then I expected, not even just outlining wise, I've started writing some portions of the story.
And now I'm starting to write in the same prose I use for my original writing, which is to say its very flowery and experimental, but I really think it works for the story, and I already am fighting back the urge to post stuff already.
Heres what my obsidian graph looks like so far for the fic, minus attachments.
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The makers of Kinktober 2025 are back again with a brand new list! The graphics are once again created by latte-cucumber. Check out our AO3 collection, or keep reading for more information.
More information
Kinktober is a kinky October prompt challenge that’s been running in one form or another since 2016. There are three prompts for each day in October, and the challenge is to use one (or more!) of the prompts to create something for that day. If you don’t want to use any of the three daily prompts, you can swap them out for the bonus prompts at the bottom of the prompt list.
If you have any questions, check our FAQs. Unfortunately, due to personal commitments, we won't be opening our askbox for questions this year. We've made it as rules-light as possible, though, so if your question is "Can I do this?", the answer is almost certainly yes!
