I do not think that Mello was a good person. Yet, I am his biggest defender. Why? Because Mello was never someone with a personality predispositioned to evil. What I would like to examine is how his environment actually is what fostered him to become a criminal.Now, sometimes the fandom treats Wammy’s like it’s some terrible hellhouse (not that the take is unjustified), but I don’t think that was the intent. I think that Wammy’s originated as a place that was to raise successors for L (duh) and give young people the opportunity for purpose in a life that may otherwise not let them live up to their potential. However, there is a problem with Wammy’s. The way it operates is not really compatible with human psychology (in my opinion). When you take a bunch of kids and tell them “we’re offering you a purpose to live out your potential”, it implies not living up to that potential that is apparently a deeply fundamental part of their identity equates to having no purpose or worth. Take young Mello. He is definitely a naturally achievement oriented person, and thus inclined to feelings of inadequacy as well.
Mello quickly notices that he has trouble fitting in with the other kids. (Yes I am wandering more into the realm of personal headcanons now). He realizes that he has to be smartest to be relevant. His hobbies are meaningless when they are not talents, and forming relationships with his peers seems futile. Mello is immediately thrust into an environment where a hundred or so gifted kids are fighting to be a successor. That’s what they’re there for, right? Not to learn how to be a functioning human being or anything like that, no. Wammy’s just doesn’t teach that. A lot of times the general assumption is that the kids don’t need to be taught this because they’re already “oh so smart.” However, giftedness or whatever word you want to use is typically very asynchronous. This means that the kids may be extremely advanced in one area but very behind in others. Especially considering the fact many of these kids also likely have other things going on such (adhd, autism, trauma, etc etc.) The extreme high is mistakenly perceived to “cancel out” the low, though. Which of course is not true. So now you have a bunch of kids freakishly talented at the task of being a great detective and at a loss with everything else. Mello and Near themselves prove this. Near has troubles functioning on his own as an adult (which is why he couldn’t go on the plane alone*) and Mello has severe problems with self esteem and emotional regulation. To make matters worse, Mello probably attributes these flaws to a personal shortcoming and fails to recognize the system just never accommodated the kids’ needs. Of course, now Mello is ingrained with the belief that his worth is tied directly to his performance. Both because of his personality and his upbringing. So he pours all his energy into being at the top, and STILL can’t make it. He doesn’t have time for hobbies. He keeps having breakdowns and getting in trouble. Mello is constantly punished by the orphanage for the way THEY neglected him. The kids think he’s weird and mean, the caretakers think he’s a jerk, and Mello even is beginning to believe it himself. Then there’s this confusion, because if Mello is “so bright why is his behavior so poor?” (Gee, I wonder why, Wammy’s) Mello can’t understand why he never is the best, and why he has so much trouble with his emotions, and the fact he constantly gets in trouble just further reinforces the idea that there’s something wrong with him. Although when we look deeper we see that the orphanage is trying to have the kids grow but inadvertently limiting the opportunity for growth everywhere but one potential area, which ultimately means that one area that they were supposed to grow in is hindered too. Of course he grows up and becomes a criminal! He poured so much energy into one area and saw no improvement. Soon he just comes to believe that he’s inferior, and that surpassing Near will be the only thing that can save him, and the only thing that will give him worth. To conclude, I think Wammy’s was just a disaster waiting to happen.
