captain of cringe

"are you normal about-" no I'm an insane pervert

vvitch better have my money

payeth me what thee owe me

this is black phillip, the money goat! reblog in 10 sec and money will come your way so you can live deliciously

reblogging to live deliciously

Fuck. Those fuckers at the store sold me No Purpose Flour again. What the fuck do I do with this

people will be like ‘i fucking hate wizardywizardposts.tumblr.com they wont shut up about magic’ abnd its like. what do you want out of this website. nobody made you follow the wizard blog with evil spells, powers, beams, etc. you are in direct control of the number of wizards on your dashboard at any given time

this is the most curated website left on this putrid rock. i saw the grotesque pink homunculus icon blog ONCE and then never again because i simply chose not to follow the kind of person who would reblog them. this shit is easy. its so easy to just straight up have a good time on your computer here guys. it ony some blogs

ending an argument by typing “youtube.com/watch?v=” then keymashing & hitting enter & having it miraculously link an inexplicable video of the person you’re arguing with in the beam of a flashlight wading through waist high garbage in a dark cramped stone tunnel whimpering & speaking in gibberish

new DB Cooper theory: he went up