Arc Misadventuers, The Second

The Second The Third The Forth The Fifth The Sixth The Seventh The Eighth

Introductions

Friends

Juniper: So Jaune, what's it like dating four beautiful ladies?

Jaune: Uhh... It's complicated.

Juniper: It must be difficult, dating such fine ladies.

Jaune: No, that's not what I... Well it is complicated, but that's not the reason why it's so complicated.

Juniper: Then what's so complicated then?

Jaune: Well, as you know... I'm dating Weiss Schnee, Blake Belladonna, Ruby Rose, and Yang Xiao Long.

Juniper: And, they are all wonderful young ladies~! Although that Yang girl looks like one of my daughters. I accidently referred to her as one, and she started crying tears of joy.

Jaune: Yeah, Yang has a lot of mother issues. But, that's not the point. You see... I'm dating all of them, but they think that I'm only dating one of them, and that by dating them, I'm cheating on my girlfriend with them.

Juniper: W-What...?

Jaune: Yeah it doesn't make sense...

Juniper: H-Hold up! T-This doesn't make sense at all; Your girlfriend's think that you're cheating on girlfriend with your other girlfriend?

Jaune: Yeah.

Juniper: Okay, explain to me what the hell this... 'love affair' you're in the middle of? In intricate detail.

Jaune: Okay... Ruby think's I'm cheating with her on my girlfriend Blake, to prove that she is the more desirable girl. Blake thinks I'm cheating on my other girlfriend Weiss, because I 'prefer' premium faunas pussy more than that 'snobbish Schnee girl.'

Juniper: What does she mean by 'premium pussy?'

Jaune: Weiss thinks I'm cheating on my girlfriend Yang, because she thinks I prefer flat girls than 'top heavy udders for brains girls' like Yang. And, Yang thinks I'm cheating on my girlfriend Ruby with her to 'protect' her little sister from me ravaging her in the bedroom.

Juniper: ...

Juniper: What... What the FUCK?!

Jaune: Yeah... I think the four of them all of a cheating kink... Which considering women's choice of literature, and movies makes sense...

Juniper: Now that I think about it, they all went to your sister, Luna to get signed copies of one of her books. So them being into NTR makes a lot of sense now.

Jaune: Which book?

Juniper: The one where they younger sister seduces her older brother, and steals her away from his girlfriend.

Jaune: Gods dammit. Not that one!

Juniper: It's actually her best seller.

Sienna: Jaune, do you have a moment?

Jaune: For you my Queen; Always.

Sienna: I'm choking, what are you doing?

Jaune: If I was choking you with my hand, I'm supposed to tell you who your human master is, and hold you harder until you answer me.

Sienna: No wait!

Jaune: But, if your throating me, I'm supposed to hold you in place, until I explode all over your face marking you as my bitch. Letting everyone know you're mine.

Sienna: ...

Jaune: ...

Jaune: What?

Sienna: First off: I'm certainly kinkier than I thought. I wasn't so aware I liked it so rough.

Jaune: Your signal to go harder is to scratch up my back...

Sienna: Secondly: I was talking about choking on food. Not on, or by you Jaune.

Jaune: On food?! Sienna, you asked me what I was doing while you're choking, not if you were choking on food.

Sienna: Well why did you think I was talking about sex?!

Emerald: Hey Jaune?

Jaune: What's up my Jem Stone?

Emerald: If I was chocking, what did you do?

Jaune: Go harder until I break the image you're using with your semblance to make sure I'm actually having sex with you, and not one of my friends, or one of my sisters. Again.

Emerald: ...

Jaune got his girlfriend, and her sister matching sweaters!

can you put jaune hitting someone very hard to the point that either it leaves them embedded in a wall or their silhouette is marked? motives, reasons and circumstances are at your discretion.

A Death Mark

Jeanne: EEP?!!

Mercury: Oh, now isn’t that a lovely sound.

Jeanne: D-Did you just grab my butt?!

Mercury: And, what a nice ass you have there babe~!

Jeanne: The hell is wrong with you?!

Mercury: Hey, a man sees a fine bit of ass like yours of course he wants to take a bite out of it.

Jeanne: The hell is wrong with you?!

Mercury: Me? Well, not having you is definitely something wrong.

Jeanne: Grr!!!

Mercury: Say, Babe… Why don’t we ditch this joint, and go someplace where we can really have some fun~!

Jeanne: Get off of me!

Mercury: Fine, I will… But, for a price~!

Jeanne: A price?

Mercury: One kiss, and I’ll let go of you, deal?

Jeanne: …

Jeanne: Okay then… Pucker up big guy…

Mercury: Ha! And, people said you were a…?!

Jeanne:

Jeanne: …

Jeanne: Mother fucker…

~~~

Pyrrha: …

Coco: …

Velvet: …

Nora: …

Ruby: …

Rin: …

May:

Glynda: …

Blake: …

Yang: …

Weiss: …

Ruby: Is he dead…?

Mercury: O-Owww…

Jaune: No.

Everyone:

Emerald: …

Neo: 😐

Emerald: You’re filming all of this, right?

Neo: 😈

Emerald: Oh this… this is the best day ever!!!

///

Jaune: Salem has a happy place… Really?

Nora: Well, everyone has a happy place. Even evil people do.

Jaune: True; So where, or well what, is Salem’s happy place?

Nora: With her kids? I mean, she was happy, very happy when she was being a mother, with her kids.

Jaune: That makes sense. But, wouldn’t that make her angry as well?

Nora: Angry, why would she be angry?

Jaune: Because Ozma tried to run away with their kids, and got them killed. That sours any happy memories she may have about her kids.

Nora: Oh, you're right… Then her happy place is killing Ozma!

Jaune: Really? The fact he’s some… body hopping parasite that always comes back to ruin her plans definitely makes her really angry.

Nora: Damn, I can understand why Salem hates the little shit.

Jaune: Yeah, he is a little shit…

Nora: …

Jaune: …

Nora: Maybe her happy place is playing Minecraft?

Jaune: W-What…?

Nora: Salem’s happy place is in a nice game of Minecraft. Just her, all alone in a vast digital world, building, and creating whatever she wanted. And, just letting herself just let go of all of her worries and immersing herself in the world she created. Where the only problem she would have is the random Creeper that magically teleported behind her, killing her character. I mean, have you ever had a bad experience playing Minecraft. Bar the occasional Creeper?

Jaune: No, not really… You can just zone out, and immerse yourself in the world of your own creation. Where all that matters is whatever you want it to be…

Nora: It would be absolutely perfect…

Jaune: Yeah… It's perfect until Ozma comes around, and griefs her…

Nora: That bastard is 100% a griefer, no question’s about it!

Jaune: Hell yeah he is!

~~~

Ozpin: …

Ironwood: …

Glynda: …

Qrow: …

Ironwood: Ozpin?

Ozpin: Yes James…?

Ironwood: How the hell do those kids know anything about Salem?!

Glynda: And, what was that about you killing your own children?

Qrow: You’ve fucked?!

Ozpin: …

Blake: What does Neapolitan taste like?

Jaune: Cherry.

Yang: What? Neapolitan Ice cream is a mix of chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry. Why would you say cherry?

Yang: Why is Ruby’s skirt so short?!

Jaune: It's short so Ruby can easily grab the pistol she’s got strapped to her leg.

Yang: Okay, but it should be…?! How do you know that?

Jaune: She showed me.

Yang: Ruby showed you her legs?

Jaune: Just to show me the gun… and the throwing knives…

Yang: She has throwing knives strapped to her legs?

Jaune: I think… I can’t remember really, I was too distracted when she showed me.

Yang: Too distracted by the weapons Ruby has strapped to her legs?

Jaune: No, too distracted by her legs…

Yang: You were checking my sister out?!

Jaune: And… loving it!

Yang: I'm going to kill you.

Adrian: Dada!

Jaune: ...

Saphron: ...

Terra: ...

Jaune: Told you not to call me that...

Terra: It just came out, okay?!

Saphron: What's wrong with that? I mean, it's technically true.

Weiss dumps a small pile of cash in front of Jaune.

Jaune: Uhhh… What’s this?

Weiss: Money.

Jaune: I can see that, but what is it for?

Weiss: You.

Jaune: Okay… why…?

Weiss: You’ve been meaning to ask me on a date for a while now, but your poor so you could probably not be capable of taking me anywhere close to my standards. So, here’s some money, and ask me on a date already!

Jaune: This seems like a Schnee thing to do… Okay, well its nice to know I have a shot of you saying yes.

Weiss: Depending on the circumstances…

Jaune: Evidently… You could have ask me yourself, and then we would have go to the places you set your personal standards for.

Weiss: Wait, I could have done that from the get go…?

Jaune: Yeah, nothing stopping you from doing that Weiss.

Weiss: …

Jaune: Weiss…?

Weiss: AAAAAAA!!!

Jaune: So… should I ask out on a date, or do you want to…?

Weiss: …

Nora: Jaune, biggest regret: GO!

Jaune: I fell in love with heart, but forgot my head along the way.