Alrighty Then

Honestly “thanks I hate it” is one of the funniest phrases in the English language

i one time told my italian professor “grazie lo detesto” and she lost her shit, so it’s not just english

#arigato! watashi ga kirau (via @rlyehtaxidermist)

So because of this post, I was trying to translate “thanks! i hate it” to my grandmother. And instead of “paldies! es nīst” i went “paldies! man nīst”. Which translates to “thanks! i hate myself”.

I worked with toddlers and pre schoolers for three years. Sometimes I accidentally slip and tell a friend to say bye to an inanimate object (“say bye bus!”) & occasionally they unthinkingly just do it.

I’m glad there’s a teacher version of “accidentally called teacher ‘mom’”

when I worked at Medieval Times occasionally I would slip in real life and call people “my lord”

One time during family prayer, dad began: “our father who art in heaven, American Airlines, how can I help you?”

Nyquil Chicken

Nyquil Chicken

Wait…..isn’t she going the wrong way?

Nope……she isn’t

The year is 2018. Your bills are on autopay. You just got paid and you still have $1200 from the last check. When you want something, you buy it without moving money around. Your credit cards are paid off. You and your friends have 2 international trips planned and paid for this year. Your parents are in great health and you’re able to help if they need anything. You love your job. Your desired creative career is falling into place and you get to take your little cousins to Six Flags and Universal Studios over the Summer. Your relationships are healthy and supportive. All of the toxic energy from the past 6 years is gone. You going to concerts, eating good across the states and your crib has art and warmth throughout. 2018 is going to be so good to you.

reblogging this for that 2018 good luck

Speaking this into existence.

Speak to your future, watch it speak back.

THAT PART!!! 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾

Gonna post this on my bathroom mirror as an affirmation

hey guys who wants to see a christmas decoration someone in my area put up

america’s funniest home videos episodes are just professional vine compilations

how could you do this

When an earthquake happens coffins become underground maracas.

thanks for that not at all terrifying image 

it’s ihop

International house of pools