it's a hard knock life

unfollow me now, this is gonna be the only thing i post about for the next week

Yk how Tony’s always threatening to donate DUM-E and the rest of the bots to a college? What if, while Tony was in Afghanistan, Stane actually did just that?

Then, when Tony comes back to a botless lab, he finds out what Stane did and gets them back, but DUM-E is different, more… robotic, for lack of a better word. All the personality Tony knows and loves is gone. No more spontaneous fire extinguisher, no more motor oil smoothies, instead he follows instructions perfectly and not much else.

It freaks Tony out, and at first he blames the people at the college, and goes on a rampage to find out what they’ve done to his precious son. No one will admit to doing anything, and after a thorough diagnostic, nothing seems wrong in DUM-E’s hardware or programming.

Until one day DUM-E makes some minor mistake, and suddenly he’s cowering and pushing his arm up to Tony in affection. Tony, by now an expert in reading robot body language, recognizes this as fear and placation, desperation. Begging. And that’s when Tony puts two and two together.

See, DUM-E’s programming is sophisticated, so he made the connection between Tony’s threats and what happened when he was sent away, but not sophisticated enough to recognize that Tony wasn’t the one who gave him away, that Tony wanted him back, or that it wouldn’t happen again. He’s been trying to be the perfect bot in hopes that Tony would keep him around, and now that he’s screwed up all he has left is to beg.

Please, Tony hears in the bot’s beeps and whirrs, please not again. I’ll be good. Please give me another chance, just one more chance. I won’t mess up again, I promise I’ll be good, I promise I’ll be perfect, please-

Tony comforts his son, petting the bot and gently explaining some things. He’s the one promising now, promising that he’ll never give DUM-E away, no matter what. Promising that he never meant to be away for so long, that he’s sorry he wasn’t there to protect him from Obie.

him having a big doggo that he play wrestles with or him having a cat from before he was turned and instead of running away from him like he had expected and feared the cat shows more affection than usual because it can tell that he's uncomfortable or unhappy

++ my biggest headcanon is scott simply attracting wildlife like he doesnt have to do anything at all but animals just naturally follow him

so catch him going for a run in the woods (?) and sure enough any time he stops to take a breather there's just?? deer watching him from a distance or sometimes random dogs will show up at his doorstep and he has to coerce them to retreat and cats are a menace cause they slink their way INSIDE the house and if he can sniff a cat he'll spend hours trying to figure out whether it's still in the house and if so WHERE

Dogs follow him. They fawn. One day, an enormous mastiff gently takes his hand in his teeth and attempts to lead him somewhere. Scott doesn’t go, but he wonders.

Sometimes, when you talk to him, he’s holding some small bit of trash, usually metal and shiny. When people ask, he says a crow gave it to him, and he didn’t wanna be rude.