Sammie Jade

Ubbe: It’s not like I’m the one who was all for the marriage?

Hvitserk: Though you did say you were going to be the best man…

Bjorn: Yeah and I didn’t even let him be my best man, also you lot shut up about me and my wife.

Ivar: You know that loses it’s heat when you’ve had how many wives now?

Bjorn: More then dad.

Hvitserk: Well you’ve had Porrun, Snaefrid, Ingrid, Gunnhild and my personal favourite Torvi. Thank Thor you married her twice!

Ivar: You really are a whore. Ha.

BJORN: What happened?

TORVI: Dad, Mum and Floki are all planing a trip which means that I have to get all of our kids ready and you too which is not going to be fun. And knowing this it probably means that your family will end up being invited to which means Hvitserk will bring his knew girl friend who no one’s really set on yet and then Ivar will want to come in our car same with Hvitty who will both blast some random song that will set the kids off.

BJORN: Well where are we going? I hope that there’s lots and lots of sun!

TORVI: Not the point of this all Bjorn it’s the point that we all have to get our shit together so we can meet with my family at the airport tomorrow morning, which is like hella short notice for all of us. Now go and all you need is to pack yourself a bag, I’ll pack mine, Siggy’s, Asa’s, Ragnar’s, Hali’s, Refil’s and Guthrum’s while all you have to do is your own, Erik’s, Finan’s, Osferth’s and Uhtred’s then who ever’s done first will go and pick up the kids and who ever’s last will make dinner.

What the hell is going on here?

Hvitserk:

Well Bjorn said family game night and I thought why don’t I come over and help Mrs. Nelson-Lothbrok make the snacks.

Torvi:

Not really what I meant Hvitserk I knew about the family game night I’m in the group chat and I saw your message about you coming to help me make snacks, I’m more talking about this living breathing woman next to you, no offence.

Hvitserk:

Ohh this, this is my girlfriend, her name is Thora and I thought I’d start with you meeting her since everyone else is a bit more crazy and you also have the most kids if you could your adopted ones and your step kid. Thora this is my older brother’s wife, Torvi Nelson-Lothbrok.

Thora:

Well it’s nice to meet you Torvi, I’m Thora. Your house is very beautiful. And I can’t wait to meant everyone in this family.

Torvi:

You might want to wait on that one, they’ve a bit full on and Hvitserk you should know better then to bring a girl home on game night in this family. Don’t you remember my first one, I called Halfdan to come pick me up as soon as it was over.

Hvitserk:

Well I guess you are right about that I still remember Bjorn yelling at us, ohh and now we have more mini Bjorn’s involved how many of them are there? Never mind, I don’t want to know. But it won’t be that bad now since Dad divorced Mum and she’s off with Harbard somewhere and then Lagertha and Dad are engaged, so there’s not that fight anymore.

Torvi:

I swear to Thor you are forgetting that you and your brothers are very competitive, now add in your cousins, uncle, aunt, step-mum, dad, nieces and nephews, along with the fact that Bjorn and I do get pretty competitive.

Thora:

I feel like I should meet your family some over time, not that Torvi hasn’t been welcoming but I feel like maybe a lunch would be better?

Torvi:

Don’t worry about going you can stay but make sure you don’t bring attention to your self and on your first few nights never and I mean never win…

Hvitserk:

But you win all the time!

Torvi:

Not till I was pregnant with Erik did I start to actually win at theses game nights.

Hvitserk:

Yer and then when Bjorn brought home Porrun when he cheated on you and got her pregnant you beat her at literally ever game we played even the drinking ones and you were pregnant with Guthrum by that fuckwit Jarl.

Thora:

So I’m guessing long night?

Torvi:

LOVE THESE TWO

😍😍😍

🥰🥰🥰

😘😘😘

Finan: Yes?

Bjorn: Erik was with you yes?

Finan: Yes my brother was with me…

Torvi: And what have we learnt from your fight?

Finan: Next time tell them to ring Dad so I don’t get in as much trouble since the offices ladies love him?

Torvi: No, that’s not it. What else did you learn?

Finan: That your more scary then Dad.

Erik: Finan anyone could of told you that one…

Bjorn: I think what your Mum’s trying to say is that next time you get into a fight do not do it.

Torvi: That’s right…

Bjorn: But side note did you win?

Finan: Oh yer I bet his ass.

Bjorn: That’s my boy!

Torvi: Bjorn don’t encourage this!

Bjorn: Erik, Finan next time call me instead of your mother since you know I’m more chill and hot which will get you out of everything since you know they all love me or they hate me…also winning is almost everything in fights you know and you wouldn’t be part of the Lothbrok family without winning…

Erik: We know…

Finan: Hey I won!

Torvi: Look what you started Bjorn, you know what I’ll take care of taking the kids to school and all that but Finan is going to work with you for the week…

Finan: YES!!!

Rollo: Which son of yours wishes to kill all of their wife’s exs?

Athelstan: Is it Bjorn? Please be Bjorn! Jarl Borg and Erlendur have always freaked me the out! Dear God let it be Bjorn!

Ragnar: It’s Bjorn he found out about how Guthrum was conceived and now to add to that he also saw a video of Erlendur hitting Torvi…

Floki: Why don’t we just let Bjorn do what he pleases then we just need a really good lawyer…Rollo is Gisla still a lawyer?

Rollo: Yes she is, and they say she’s one of the best…I think I agree with Floki on this one.

Ragnar: Athelstan are you sure your okay with this?

Athelstan: For once I support this…I’m all in…

Bjorn: Thank the Gods! And Rollo remember to tell Gisla she’s my favourite Aunt…

Rollo: She’s your only aunt…

This is what you call a family meeting…people have them with their family’s when they wish to speak about something to do with the family and I’m guessing from the way Bjorn won’t stop treating Ubbe like shit on the group chat this was needed…so Bjorn why are you trying to kill Ubbe?

Bjorn:

Well my dear brother has been going around saying he would love to have my wife in his bed for the night, which sure think it but don’t say it since you know she’s my wife who’m I have kids with your nephews and nieces no doubt so do not go around telling people you wish to fuck my WIFE!!!

Ragnar:

In Ubbe’s defence I think most of your brothers and our family want to fuck your wife…but come on Ubbe we can at least keep it to our selves…you fucked up!!!

Ubbe:

Hey I know that I want to fuck Torvi, I mean come on have you seen her she’s had Erik, Guthrum, Refil, Hali, Asa and is pregnant but she is still looks amazing she is the real definition of a MILF…

Lagertha:

Don’t take this the wrong way it she is a MILF…

Torvi:

Sorry I’m late I was picking up Finan from school since he got in trouble and then sent aloud back for a week. Finan go to your Dad…

Finan:

Why is it so quite in here? Mum? Dad?

Torvi:

I don’t know, okay what the hell where you lot talking about.

Ivar:

Ohhh not much just about how much of a MILF you are seeing as your a mother to nine and sure you only gave birth to six of them it’s just what ever.

Torvi:

Thanks?

Ubbe:

You sure your pregnant like sure sure?

Torvi:

Well I’m pretty sure that the five pregnancy test say so, so yer I’m pregnant…

Bjorn:

Well fuck T your brothers are gonna kill me…

Halfdan:

And why am I killing you?

Torvi: