Ivar: I thought you were dead!
Bjorn: Only mostly dead.
DEAR READER
Claire Keane
Cosmic Funnies

Love Begins

pixel skylines

★
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
todays bird
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
trying on a metaphor
noise dept.

祝日 / Permanent Vacation

Discoholic 🪩
Keni
we're not kids anymore.

Kaledo Art
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

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@incorrectvikings
Ivar: I thought you were dead!
Bjorn: Only mostly dead.

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Torvi: I have an idea for our vacation.
Ivar: And it wouldn’t involve any murders?
Ubbe: She said an idea, not a miracle.
Ubbe, after Hvitserk killed Lagertha: We’re not mad, just disappointed.
Bjorn: No, we’re mad.
Ubbe: Yes. We are mad. We’re livid. But we’re going to let this one slide.
Bjorn: No, we’re not!
Ubbe: I’m not a mind reader, Bjorn!
Ivar: I hate when Hvitserk says “are you even listening to me?” It’s such a random way to start a conversation.
Freydis: I only lied because it was the easiest way to get what I wanted.

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Ubbe: Hvitserk? How do you feel?
Hvitserk: Well, let me check in.
Hvitserk: [Closes his eyes, takes a deep breath]
Hvitserk: Nope. Never mind. That was scary.
Alfred: Surrender.
Ivar: You mean you wish to surrender to me? Very well, I accept.
Katia: You’re avoiding your problems.
Ivar: What? No I’m not. Can we talk about this tomorrow?
Aslaug: What kind of idiot do you think I am?
Lagertha: Is there a choice?
Floki: When you get revenge on someone, always immediately hit them with a second revenge. Undercuts any counter-revenge or betrayal they have.
Ragnar: Why are you like this?
Ivar: *taking notes*

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Igor: I’ll be munching later.
Ivar: And crunching?
Igor: Let’s not be hasty.
Bjorn: You played me like a fiddle!
Ivar: Oh no, brother. Fiddles are actually quite difficult to play. I played you like the cheap kazoo you are.
Aethelwulf: Nobody hates me more than I hate myself.
Judith: You’re wrong there.
Ubbe: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated.
Hvitserk: Killed without hesitation.
Ubbe: No.
Igor, reading a recipe: Beat three eggs.
Igor: ...
Igor: At what?

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Ragnar: I hope you have a good explanation for this.
Bjorn: We have three!
Ivar: Pick your favorite.
Bjorn: Nothing bad ever happens to the Ragnarssons!