Cat lover. Cat person.

working from home

In my time working for the state government, my job sent me to 46 cities in 11 years. I lived in villages with 8 people, rural farming communities, college towns. I was sent to every corner of Indiana. And then I came here and I realized that this whole time, I was just wandering around everywhere, just looking for you.

— 3 am thoughts (via suspend)

I honestly asked my friend this same question just hours ago as I was clueless myself but thinking about it now I think it’s when for the first time after what seemed like a dreadful year (or life), you look forward to waking every morning knowing he (let’s use he as it’s me talking) will be there for you. I think it’s just plain seeing him and being happy that’s he’s around. It’s being happy just by hearing his voice. No matter how bad your day is, one message from him would make your entire day. It’s when he makes you want to write long letters and huge poems. It’s not all about “lust”- it’s more of the intimate relationship you have together. It’s when the simplest of things count. It’s when you start to mature and start to plan something with him for the future. It’s when he makes you want to start fixing your life. It’s when he’s always in your head 3 pm or 3 am. It’s when you can’t stop talking or thinking about him. It’s when you just really always miss him even if he’s right beside you. It’s the “I used to like green eyes but now blue eyes are my favorite”. It’s when all love and cheesy stuff just apply for him. It’s when you begin to see nothing but him and you value him like you value yourself. It’s not the “heart pounding, hands sweating” feeling but more of the “I feel home” feeling. It’s more of like talking to yourself- being yourself with someone without worries. It’s when you begin to really trust him with everything and that includes your happiness. It’s when he’s your happiness. It’s when subconsciously you change for the better. It’s when you once again start opening up after a long time. It’s when you are denying it at most cause you are afraid of how strong you feel and last I think while you’re reading this- there’s someone in your head right now and you’re just contemplating whether you’re in love with him or not but hey the fact that he or she is the person (out of billions of people) in your mind while you read this must say a lot.

And you move forward because you won’t find the right person for you while you’re holding onto the wrong one.

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