screeeech

i just tried to watch this video on my phone while in the bathroom as you do and forgot that my phone was still connected to my bluetooth speaker in the living room at full volume :-(

This is a serotonin machine

malls are dying because they don't have blacksmith, apothecary, alehouse or peddler's

We must create dungeons that expand for miles under the earth and malls are the hub areas where warriors gather to venture deep beanth the surface for treasures yet discovered. It's the only way to save the economy.

👆It's is the only way to save the economy

hey quick PSA but “reading before bed to wind down” only works if you’re normal about books btw. if you aren’t you are going to end up awake at 2:52am after finishing the whole book just trust me on this one

The person filming could absolutely help, but they didn’t and for that I thank them.

I don’t trust anyone who didn’t laugh at this… you gotta be dead inside if you didn’t react when sis delivered that punchline 😂

comedic timing

Finally: ethical drunk driving

I'm in a little local cafe and the women behind the counter started griping to each other, "Oh Christ, Stephen's back again," "It's him, is it? I thought he'd stopped coming," "It's definitely him, look, it's bloody Stephen on a Thursday morning," "Do you want me to get rid of him or are you going to do it?" and so I was peering outside, trying to spot this nightmare customer, this pestilence of a person, this pox upon the cafe trade, and then one of the women from behind the counter ran outside, clapping two trays together loudly and yelling "GET OUT OF IT, STEPHEN!" and it turns out that Stephen is an absolutely gigantic fuck-off seagull who hangs around outside, menacing people for crumbs

do you ever find something that is so funny and you want to share it with everyone but it also requires 18 layers of context spanning things like. 90s anime. aviation history. europop. canada. in order to even remotely understand why it is so funny