Them? Sinners. Us? Winners. But me? I'm Dinners!

"D&D character" has been so culturally autocannibalized it effectively only exists as an erotic taxa. It's like "Sexy nurse" or "pool boy". A commedia whose purpose is to lubricate the shy. Which like. I have no strong opinion of.

[pointing, holding a sandwich in my other hand, mouth full] Erotic abstraction!

"D&D character" has been so culturally autocannibalized it effectively only exists as an erotic taxa. It's like "Sexy nurse" or "pool boy". A commedia whose purpose is to lubricate the shy. Which like. I have no strong opinion of.

[pointing, holding a sandwich in my other hand, mouth full] Erotic abstraction!

A tragic element of California is that sometimes just the walk from your home to your car will generate enough sweat to ruin your makeup. Luckily my suave devil-may-care affect looks good with messy mascara. Yet another way that I am perfect. Also I will never die.

markiplier found dead on the streets of los angeles after slipping on a banana peel and falling into an open manhole, and then landing on a big bouncy mushroom in the manhole and getting launched back out with so much force his neck snapped before he even hit the ground again

cctv footage from a nearby storefront reveals the peel was carelessly thrown aside by a cute little squirrel just a few minutes before markymoo had his fatal accident. the squirrel was then carried away by a hawk and eaten, and then the hawk got struck by lightning and fell into a poisonous lake, which then got buried under many tons of soil due to an unrelated landslide

bestie are you good? you just reblogged "petting her while we watch videos on my laptop" again