Them? Sinners. Us? Winners. But me? I'm Dinners!

You've reached the omorashi hotline. Please Hold

Ghosts aren't real, it was probably just the house settling that gave you that blowjob

"D&D character" has been so culturally autocannibalized it effectively only exists as an erotic taxa. It's like "Sexy nurse" or "pool boy". A commedia whose purpose is to lubricate the shy. Which like. I have no strong opinion of.

[pointing, holding a sandwich in my other hand, mouth full] Erotic abstraction!

"D&D character" has been so culturally autocannibalized it effectively only exists as an erotic taxa. It's like "Sexy nurse" or "pool boy". A commedia whose purpose is to lubricate the shy. Which like. I have no strong opinion of.

[pointing, holding a sandwich in my other hand, mouth full] Erotic abstraction!

A tragic element of California is that sometimes just the walk from your home to your car will generate enough sweat to ruin your makeup. Luckily my suave devil-may-care affect looks good with messy mascara. Yet another way that I am perfect. Also I will never die.

markiplier found dead on the streets of los angeles after slipping on a banana peel and falling into an open manhole, and then landing on a big bouncy mushroom in the manhole and getting launched back out with so much force his neck snapped before he even hit the ground again

cctv footage from a nearby storefront reveals the peel was carelessly thrown aside by a cute little squirrel just a few minutes before markymoo had his fatal accident. the squirrel was then carried away by a hawk and eaten, and then the hawk got struck by lightning and fell into a poisonous lake, which then got buried under many tons of soil due to an unrelated landslide