SalmonBerry

*pokes the etsy witches* okay the other guy now

how did I never once think to use tape fuck

one time as a kid I forcefully shoved two magnets together, and these were the strong magnets my dad used in his shop to pick-up missing little metal bits, and I held them really tightly in the palm of my hand, went up to this one kid who legit said things like “I think black cats are bad, they should be drowned” and drew crosses on the notebooks of kids if she found out they didn’t go to church, I told her “Hey. I’m a witch. If you don’t stop trying to hurt animals and picking on kids, I’ll use my magic to throw you into the sky”, and when she dared to doubt my powers I told her that I had two “rocks” in my hand that I could send across the playground, then I opened my hand the the magnets shot off in two different directions (we were over in a spot that was empty, so no other kids were around, nobody got hurt), one of them stuck to a drainpipe and the other stuck to a fence. This kid SCREAMED, and ran to the office, and I guess had her mom pick her up from school, and then she wasn’t there for a couple of days, finally her mom called my house and claimed I had “traumatized her daughter by performing a terrifying magic trick”, and when my parents asked what I did I just said “I showed her a magnet and she flipped out. She’s not gonna be happy when she finds out about gravity, either”. eventually this kid came back to school and always made a point to come up to me and say “Hey, my mom told me not to talk to you!”, and would just be like “Good job, you already screwed that up”

Holy shit

Oh my god this is so fucking funny

I have only ever seen this in the depths of tumblr Pinterest this feels so insane to read in person

I’m not crying my eyes are just watering 😭

i love this character so much bro. now show me how they’d look shaking and sobbing on the floor after their entire worldview and sense of self and worth has been shattered, all alone with no one in the world who cares enough about them to even politely ask if they’re okay

I’m deprived… I need leosagi fanfiction… it’s the only thing that’ll save me now…

I am such a sucker for characters who are normally super confident and flirty and then completely blank when their crush does anything back