lilja 4-ever
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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

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Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

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if i look back, i am lost
One Nice Bug Per Day
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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@saintfem
lilja 4-ever

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the paul scene really really solidified the fact that rolin has fundamentally misunderstood what is interesting about loustat. absolving lestat of any wrongdoing and going as far as having FUCKING LOUIS’ DEAD BROTHER come in and THANK lestat for “loving louis the way that he needed to be loved”. loustat, and i say this as a firm loustat girlie, is NOT HEALTHY. lestat did not SAVE louis with his love. louis was not saved by his love. they are both CURSED with loving each other.
louis was coerced, manipulated, intentionally isolated by lestat. lestat killed lily, the only person who he confided to, accelerated louis into severing contact with his family (whom he did love), and LOATHED paul from the one instance where he met him, because it was clear he did not approve of them. paul’s death and his stance on lestat was the eerie foreshadowing for how lestat would go on to treat louis throughout season one. i.e., enraged that in spite of all his UNWANTED efforts to receive louis’ unconditional affection, there was deep resentment from louis for stripping of something that he valued as much as his humanity.
and louis was not resentful because it is his nature. he was not cold to him because “it is his father’s way” like paul said. he was cold to him because louis is embittered by the fact that the majority of his suffering would have never happened if he had never met lestat. just as the majority of his greatest euphoria would have never happened if he’d met lestat: claudia entering their life, becoming bold enough to truly define who he is, experiencing a love that he was constantly told was wrong and unholy. but none of that changes the fact that lestat TRAPPED him—louis is constantly battling between these two opposing facts regarding the love of his life, and he learned to utilize resentment and coldness to make lestat feel the same constant turmoil and insecurity that lestat made HIM feel.
louis and lestat do not love each other BECAUSE of what they’ve been through. they love each other IN SPITE of what they’ve been through. they’ve made each other’s lives a living hell, but the love is STILL there and it always has. that’s what makes them interesting. they’ve lost everything for loving each other. yes, as the episode pointed out, lestat was insulted, betrayed, had his throat slit by louis. but what they failed to mention is that louis suffered for loving lestat as well. claudia detests louis in large part because they still love each other. louis lost everyone in his human life. louis is constantly facing threats from LESTAT’S past, his mother, theatre des vampires, whoever else. they’ve damned each other: lestat damns louis, louis damns lestat, and the cycle always continues because they cannot fucking resist each other. it is the love and the hatred, euphoria and abject misery, profound connectedness and the most acute loneliness. they are EVERYTHING to one another. rolin’s incessant need on victimizing lestat is butchering one of the best gothic romances of all time.
Helen of Troy Louis expectations: he’s so sexy they’re all ready to go to war for him
Helen of Troy Louis reality: any of these men’s hideous actions is actually Louis’s fault
if argentina wins today on top of THAT finale coming out i am only left to believe that pandora’s box has been opened and racism has prevailed
crossposting this here- life got in the way for both @reticentvampyr and me so we had to delay our plans for this but it'd still be a cool idea to do a louis and claudia/jacob and delainey appreciation week to fundraise for a charity supporting black dv survivors. channel this energy into some material good yk

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another thing i had almost forgotten about the finale if it weren’t for this really good post from @gaypeople. @coldeveryseason pointed this out in a rb…the show reveals that louis was molested in a fucking throwaway line. why oh why did they have louis apologize to armand and that was never included in his framing or at all harkened back to in any way. and i did like the apology, but why couldn’t louis be like “i understand what you are going through because i was also sexually abused as a child.” in some way or other. i thought the apology was objectively valid in spite of the awful context but like, the combination of armand never apologizing in return for HIS abuse and the fact of louis’ molestation being a literal throwaway line just reads like this show is framing black trauma as disposable. armand’s trauma is acknowledged and empathized with beautifully by louis, and this whole season has been tirelessly advocating lestat’s victimhood. but when it comes to louis, there is no empathy for anything he’s ever went through, the things we’ve seen and the things we haven’t. he receives only cruelty, only derision, only mockery
ouuuu they not liking this take lemme clarify😍 i don’t even really think that they had to bring it up in the fight, although that would at least be something. the real problem is the writer’s insistence that louis simply must make amends. i think it’s completely believable for louis to make a dark joke regarding his own trauma, i have no qualms with how jacob anderson played that line. the writers just needed to give what louis has persevered through the same dramatic, narrative weight as what lestat and armand (to a lesser extent) had persevered through. and it wasn’t. because he had to make amends with them both despite the fact he was constantly in retaliation from THEIR abuse. it’s just crazy that lestat gets confirmation from paul, armand gets the “arun poor boy” speech, and louis gets a shock value line that is never addressed in any meaningful way
another thing i had almost forgotten about the finale if it weren’t for this really good post from @gaypeople. @coldeveryseason pointed this out in a rb…the show reveals that louis was molested in a fucking throwaway line. why oh why did they have louis apologize to armand and that was never included in his framing or at all harkened back to in any way. and i did like the apology, but why couldn’t louis be like “i understand what you are going through because i was also sexually abused as a child.” in some way or other. i thought the apology was objectively valid in spite of the awful context but like, the combination of armand never apologizing in return for HIS abuse and the fact of louis’ molestation being a literal throwaway line just reads like this show is framing black trauma as disposable. armand’s trauma is acknowledged and empathized with beautifully by louis, and this whole season has been tirelessly advocating lestat’s victimhood. but when it comes to louis, there is no empathy for anything he’s ever went through, the things we’ve seen and the things we haven’t. he receives only cruelty, only derision, only mockery
people focusing on the writers feeding them with “transfem lestat” while ignoring the vehement antiblackness they're putting the black gay man through kinda perfectly encapsulates the priorities of white queer fandom
also this is a secondary concern compared to the pervasive and gleeful antiblackness on the show, but lestat's line in s3ep7 that feeds into transfem readings feels like another example of this season going for "tell, don't show" and expecting fanon and fannish interpretation to carry the weight of what they aren't depicting onscreen. the s1ep7 marie antoinette drag scene is one of my fave in the whole show- and i mentioned before s3 aired that after rolin cited rocky horror and hedwig and the angry inch as s3 influences back in 2024, the lack of rockstat drag onstage felt like a glaring omission and was possibly tied to amc's corporate queerphobia given the obvious double standards in how they depict m/m and f/f v m/f intimacy. if the show wanted to make the idea of lestat being genderqueer or some form of transfeminine firmly canon, we could've seen a whole arc play out in s3 especially with gabriella coming back into lestat's life. imagine if drag was a consistent part of rockstat's look and stage performance, and esp around gabriella he insisted it was all for show, meaningless, he was just clowning, and as her control over lestat's music career and lestat himself increased we saw her steering him toward more conventionally cismasc presentation...and then we got hit with the quiet honesty of the line where lestat admits he does wish he was a woman sometimes as a resolution to a season-wide narrative that's primed for further exploration in s4. (this would also be in the hypothetically well-written s3 where lestat faces what he did to louis and claudia more firmly too, instead of 6-7 eps of wheel-spinning and darvo, and safe to say he would not be saying this to the apparition of louis' brother come to comfort him while louis is being tortured). they could've pulled on late 18th century ideas of gender that would've been formative to lestat (male performers performed fem roles then too- show him playing a woman when he was human and having a euphoric experience, show him interested as a child in the markers of femininity and womanhood that gabriella possesses and she rejects etc) being gnc/genderqueer/nonbinary/transfem/gnc (whatever your interpretation of lestat is) in 18th century france and then the early 20th century new orleans and then north america in 2025 are extremely different- your lead is an immortal vampire who's lived through all those eras, explore that.
but instead of doing any of that, instead of engaging with lestat's gender in any kind of arc, the show adds a throwaway line (in a season of throwaway lines) that can be interpreted depending on viewer bias as 1) lestat genuinely expressing some yearning for womanhood and being trans canonically or 2) still-cis lestat just saying he wishes he and louis had a heterosexual relationship to begin with bc it would've made their lives easier- like even though their relationship would've still been illegal if they were a m/f couple, they at least would've had paul and maybe the rest of the de pointe du lacs' acceptance- and plenty of casual viewers are gonna walk away with the 2nd impression. (and speaking of the de pointe du lacs, louis mentioning he was molested is another one of the throwaway lines with paradigm-shifting impact that the show doesn't care to explore in any depth- why bother developing things onscreen when fans will do the work for them and praise the writers as genius for hinting at depth instead of portraying depth onscreen??)
so many choices this season feel like the writers checking off boxes to confirm fan theories bc they seem cynically aware that a lot of people are watching the show less out of care for good storytelling but more to "win" whatever stan or ship war they're personally invested in. they're lines and moments meant to be screenshotted and shared on socmed for the fandom to talk about, pithy quips that can fit into 1-2 screenshots in subtitles and reposted with more pithy quips. the show doesn't care to explore lestat's gender in any deeper form but it does want fans losing their minds over some form of trans lestat being confirmed (with plausible deniability bc amc is the queerphobia network now)- the show doesn't care to explore devil's minion in any deeper form or show how armand and daniel started plotting together but it does want fans losing their minds over past devil's minion being confirmed, etc.
and this is only if you try looking at the arc (and lack thereof) of lestat's relationship to gender in isolation- when you put it back in the wider context of this episode and this season's antiblackness and the nonblack writers' choice to have paul's spirit (even if he isn't meant to be "real" or at least not represent paul's real thoughts) praise and comfort lestat while louis gets graphically tortured by his lynching director in the same episode. (and the white showrunner has already admitted he felt more for armand than louis in that scene and claimed the "apology" louis was coerced into via torture to be some kinda real moment of understanding, rather than louis doing what we saw him do in s2 and try to appease armand when he's helpless and armand holds his life in his hands.) like with the merrick scene in s3ep6, it doesn't matter what in-universe rationale for these choices are, it doesn't matter whether any of this gets revisited or recontextualized with "oh ghost claudia was lying just to hurt louis' "oh paul's spirit wasn't even real" "oh we were totally tryna critique armand's violent antiblackness" bc the problem here comes down to the nonblack writers' decisions and the choices they made in the real world when crafting this story. this show has had a persistent problem since s1 of depicting the onscreen brutalization of black bodies with far more vividness than it does nonblack bodies, and if a nonblack main character is doing the brutalization (lestat, armand) you aren't supposed to hold it against them or expect these choices to have longterm narrative consequences- the camera lingers on claudia and charlie's charred and "melting" faces as they burn but when daciana, nicki, magnus, bruce, antoinette or madeleine are burning, the camera's far quicker to cut away. and this is a deliberate choice- they weren't just pointing the camera at people spontaneously combusting, they had to allocate an effects budget and invest time and energy into showing black bodies burning with graphic detail. they had both delainey and roxane in the vfx makeup chair for their characters' murder scene, but only claudia's death was shown vividly while madeleine burning was a few brief seconds of ash scattering away.
and i simply can't enjoy any form of this "jangling keys in front of the fandom to validate popular interpretations/ships/theories" writing bc it's such a cynical bid from writers who want and expect their viewers to be satisfied with crumbs that we build elaborate headcanons around instead of expecting any form of depthful storytelling or care from them, especially when it comes to their black characters. fans being content with the show just going down a checklist to validate or debunk specific theories and fans not demanding anything more of the writers than perfunctory expository dialogue is exactly what this writing team is counting on.
also theo is right bc if your only reaction to people criticizing the nonblack writers' choices is to be like "neener neener femstat canon" (black folks critiquing the antiblackness and sharing their reactions to the show depicting this level of gratuitous racialized violence toward black bodies have already received comments along those lines) when that has nothing to do with the antiblackness being discussed here, that's ghoulish. like read the room
ALL OF THE ABOVE
and to have PAUL of all people be the one lestat's talking to; this is SO outrageous that i can't even take anything lestat says seriously.
because if this is a room full of all of lestat's VICTIMS--everyone he's KILLED.....
and he insisted multiple times that he NOTHING to do with paul's death and would "NEVER" hurt louis' brother....
but PAUL IS IN THE SAME EFFING ROOM....
then lestat talking randomly about gender/sexuality is the LAST thing i'm thinking about! 💀
cuz guess what other fan theories are getting confirmed here?
that lestat's a effing LIAR who DID drive paul to commit suicide just to isolate & manipulate & control & then ABUSE louis--abuse is trust, on top of abusing louis' mind & body!
whether you're a man or a woman lestat, you're still a MONSTER who categorically did NOT love louis "the way he needed to be loved"
and another throwaway line that confirms THAT is louis in 3x6 going "who else would have us~!" as if y'all are just SETTLING for each other cuz y'all CAN'T love anyone properly!
this show is for the BIRDS, paul was absolutely right about that in s1

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lmao
JANET JACKSON on Will & Grace 7x02
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When people want a explanation on why iwtv s3 was so bad:

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“justice for antoinette”. season 1 lestat would never talk himself outta some louis pussy like that. what a fucking goober