𖤐Cain𖤐

Thank you!!! I appreciate the love, mutt

“Wild boy.”

I’m not a house pet, My instincts control me

I don’t lay or beg, I rush and push against the grain

I listen to commands, I sit, I bite, I charge, I herd

I guard the weak, My handler throws me scraps and allows me to wander

The prey are protected, the predators I kill, I’m loyal to my man, I owe him everything

I’m a working dog, herding, hunting, retrieving, caring for my herd, while my owner keeps me off a leash, and knows I’ll return back to him when let loose.

my tail is wagging

One sided infatuation and unrequited obsession is genuinely destroying my life and relationship. Yes, he loves me, yes, he’s committed, yet for some reason I don’t feel like I’m enough and can’t seem to break old habits. We’re open, allowed to see other people, I don’t mind this, but I can’t help but feel ashamed of myself when I reach out to others that aren’t worth my time. Feeling needed, wanted, yearned over, it fills some void. I can’t drain my partner, I can’t let him fill this hole in me, it’s not fair. Not with meds, casual sex, affirmations, romance, lies, discipline — BPD isn’t something I can shake off. The constant need for acceptance, the visceral pain of rejection, the fight-or-flight reactions when a pin drops, I can’t control it and it’s ruining everything.

But sure, let me pop my mood stabilizer and hope for the best.