join my quest

gambling with angels is easy. they can't lie but they have addictive personalities; it's easy to clean them out then make them divulge secrets about the business of heaven to call your bets. my dad used to say "hey, watch this" and summon angels to play poker with him with a sort of bone flute he inherited from his grandpa, and they'd be holding horseshit and still want to call him. i'm talking "raise on a two pair" level bad at it, but they couldn't stop trying to win. my dad taught me all the secret names of God before i was out of grade school and i would use them to curse my enemies so they came down with leprosy. you can cure leprosy these days but it still sucks, especially for a child. but they had it coming for pissing me off

Anyway dni if you still support Cain, he hit his brother over the head with a fucking rock and it killed him instantly (source). I truly do not know how he still has fans. It astounds me how people can call themselves good people and still be completely fine platforming blatantly Abelist assholes like him. Smh

Someone sent me slurs over this post

Oh NOBODY'S going to be horny after this

my ankle is so fuckin horny tho

A victorian

Every reply this is is another punch in the gut

new atheists deride religion as “primitive superstition” but when you hear their take on what religion is it’s clear they have the shallowest concept of it

Y'all are the ones with holy books about talking snakes and blood sacrifices, but go off I guess

see what i mean

I will start believing the day you introduce me personally to your god(s).

see what i mean

What exactly is there deeper to understand that y'all worship a genocidal maniac and that you only read one book???

see what i mean

Religion is useless. We will all die eventually and your phony gods cannot help you

see what i mean

‘Atheists’ stop retaining evangelical christian programming challenge level: Impossible

Born to don't wanna. Forced to gotta

there are two competing sects on this website - one that uses the word "spicy" to mean "neurodivergent" and one that uses the word "spicy" to mean "sexual content." i do not like either of them

I use spicy to describe food

my food is mentally ill and I’m putting my dick in it

Twilight

getting big 45 minute vibes from this 15 minute recipe

one elf cigarette, husbanded carefully, can burn for 3 or 4 human generations. my boy your great grandpappy bummed this ciggie from the leaf-crowned prince of the splendid dales and it has burned on the mantle of our house ever since. on your 14th nameday, my son, you will puff it at last, and become a man

dwarf methamphetamine

"dwarf meth" is actually a human misnomer, the substance so named is not a drug that is cooked but is actually a mineral that is mined pure from terrifically deep sedimentary rocks. dwarven geologists say that the veins were deposited at the world's beginning, when the dwarven god of craft and ingenuity spilled a whole batch of meth

and -- before you ask -- gnome fentanyl is sugar

if ur gonna be pressed into service by your liege lord, u want to be the swiftest rider. get good at horses, because they're always sending the swiftest rider off to do some other shit that is, crucially, away from the battlefield. I'm telling u. when ur forces are outnumbered and the enemy legions show up with some unexpected advantage, someone in command is gonna say, "send the swiftest rider to alert the queen!!!" that's u. u want to be that guy

Cookies represent the body of Santa while the milk represents the blood of Santa

The Pope, desperate to avoid ever interacting with JD Vance again, went to the one place the Vice President couldn't follow: heaven.

No