the 'what if you played it a little risky' post literally Changed my life but i cant fujkign find it in my blog because its. a tiktok screenshot

i just apolitically killed the king like i have no agenda or whatever im just the jester here but i stabbed him anyway LOL all the courtiers and advisors are trying really hard to figure out who did it LOL all of them wanted him dead but they dont know whose scheme it was so nobody can promulgate a coherent political maneuver based on the circumstances LOL just playing my lute #MyLute

it is impossible to watch a movie. every night i think i want to watch a movie. no movie gets watched. because it's not possible

and yet they keep making movies with the hopes that one day humanity will discover a way to watch them. it's so inspiring

funniest sound in the world is a cat smacking shit hard as fuck with their little stupid paw

i saw a cat with an honest to god balled-up fist getting ready to hit someone the other day and it made me laugh so hard i cried

you know you're good at your job when every single person tells you "thank god you're back"

Look if you read fanfic on the clock and everyone is still relieved that you're back you must just be that got-dang good at your job

My grandad worked nights for the railroad, and he liked to say that he got paid for what knew, not what he did. There would be nights without a single train, but someone had to be there to make sure that any train that came by was on time and on the right track. It could be so slow the guys set up a projector and watched x-rated films on the clock. OP, I think your okay.

”spam like = block” yeah ok buddy. when i wake up to tumblr notifs of someone spam liking my stuff i start giggling and kicking my feet

quarterly reminder that if i reblog something ai-generated it is 110% and always an accident and for the love of god please tell me so i can delete it from my blog

don’t!!! fake!!!! your!!!! interests!!!! to!!!! make!!!! someone!!!! like!!!!! you!!!!