Sailor Magatron

when i take my phone case off i feel concern and fear knowing that some people just rawdog their phone like that like its so slippery girl you are carrying around a little fish

Handle a naked smartphone and you can just feel the eagerness of this device to lemming itself onto the pavement

parent cats are crazy because they have the protectiveness of a parent but at the end of the day theyre still just cats

your mama plays with toy mouse. and feather on stick

oh that gap in my resume? i was imprisoned by the lizard king for a few years, it was a whole thing. big misunderstanding, completely exonerated. but that ties into the next item on the list, 2 years as consort to the lizard king. that was actually a volunteer situation

went on a few dates with a guy and it didn't work out but i'm only really bummed because i'll never meet his friend he kept mentioning, "flamboyantly gay kenny" who won't stop getting in to "problematic situationships." thinking about you, kenny. in another life we're drinking vodka crans together.

i bring an “excluded since childhood” vibe to the function

I left tumblr for like 7 years now sometimes posts are underwater now

globael warming

an orangutan slinging spells is my worst nightmare

imagine an orangutan materializing a fireball in his hand and throwing it at you with his long lanky arms