Two of Me

this is what anxiety feels like

A few details before we get started. I’ve never been a fan of cat boxes. Worst part of being a cat owner, shoveling tiny shit, with a tiny shovel, every day. So I got one of those motion activated self scooping deals. Left it on the back patio, ran the cord inside to power it, and left the back sliding door open big enough for her to get in and out. 5-6 inches. The patio was one of those 8x8 cement floored types, surrounded by a 5 foot tall wooden fence. If you looked out from my bedroom door, you’d be facing right at the sliding door with hanging blinds, living room in between, kitchen that was off to the right.

So I’m playing some 56k Counter-strike at the computer in my room with my back facing the door. It’s about midnight/1 am.I hear Snowball start to make one of those awful cat growling/Rrrrr noises in the back of her throat. I’m pretty locked in to the game so I tell her to knock it off, not looking at her. She keeps doing it. I tell her to shut up, I’m irritated because I’m doing well in the round.

She gets loud. This is enough to break my from my gaming zone-out and I realize this is not normal. I get up from my computer to see her standing in the doorway facing out, her back to me. She is in full on Halloween cat mode. Hair sticking straight out, her back is completely arched, she looks TENSE. I’d never seen her that way. She is still just going crazy. “RRRROOOOOOOOOWWWRRRR.“ 

I look out into the living room where she is facing. Nothing is amiss. There is nothing there. I look down at her to say something to the effect of "What’s the matter?” She makes this insane sound. Like a combination of a hiss/growl/spit and she starts to take a few steps backwards.

That is when a tiny creature, runs out of the fucking kitchen. On two legs, wearing a tattered piece of cloth or a bag, it looked like a little cloak. It’s maybe a foot/foot and a half tall. It’s a real life fucking jump scare. 

The cat jumps backwards about 3 feet in the air, I jump. I glance down at her as she does this but quickly look back up. I hear her land with a crash behind me and run. I am fixated on the thing. It is moving but it’s like time has slowed down. I am watching these things happen but everything is so fast.

It runs out the back door through the blinds with a crash at speeds that don’t even seem natural. The blinds are swinging. My heart is pounding. I stand there dumbfounded. What the hell did I just see? I’m staring at the back patio door, at the swinging blinds. I’m not moving. My eyes start to notice that something is wrong. 

All the blinds are softly swinging except the two closest to the opening. I see they’re making an inverted V. I look at them and follow them down to the very bottom and between them I see it.

It’s head is poking through the blinds staring at me. It has yellow eyes, and a face that I can only describe as bestial. Grey, greenish, blackish skin. At this point a singular loud thought fills my mind.“YOU AREN’T SUPPOSED TO SEE THIS." 

And at the conclusion of that thought. Every one of the hanging blinds shoots upward and outward. I jump again and my heart tries to blast out of my chest like I’m fucking Cape Canaveral. Some of them hitting the ceiling. A few fall off. It’s a loud racket. The rest are swinging all over the place.I look at the place where it’s face was and it’s gone. I beeline for the kitchen. Refrigerator door is open. I open a drawer and grab the biggest knife I see. I am shaking. Adrenaline like I have never experienced before.

I rush to the sliding door and slam it shut. It won’t close. I open it a bit and slam it back shut. Still won’t close. WHAT THE FUCK. I am completely stupid. The cat box cord. I crouch down, brandishing this knife like a complete idiot looking out the glass door waiting for this thing to launch at my face. I’m shaking. I reach across myself with my left hand to the power plug on the wall to the right as I stare out, waiting to stab anything that approaches. I fumble to get it unplugged, my hands won’t do anything right. I finally get the cord unplugged and I open the door real quick to throw the cord outside. I throw it like a spaz and it hits the wall and the side of the door and falls down. Still inside. Fuck.I pick it up and try again this time it lands outside. I hear a scratching sound and my eyes dart up.

I see two tiny awful fucking hands holding on to the fence. Clawed, gnarly… HUMANOID hands. This fucking thing climbed down feet first, hanging from the fence. It would have been slightly comical if it wasn’t so fucking terrifying. The hands let go and I hear it land in the bushes outside the fence and I hear fast footsteps as it runs off.

I slam the door shut and lock it.This is completely true. I’ve heard it all. It was a raccoon. It was a cat with the mange trapped in a paper bag. It was not either of those things. After the event I started researching like a mad man. Closest thing I found was in a book I found at the library called "Faeries” which is like an artbook featuring all the different types of Irish folk creatures. I don’t live in Ireland. I live in the US on the west coast. 

You don’t believe this story and I don’t blame you. It sounds ridiculous. You probably shouldn’t believe it. I absolutely hate /r/nosleep. I think it’s stupid. I hate bullshit paranormal stories. Believe it or not, I am a skeptic. I believe all people that have experienced something strange or believe in the paranormal should be a skeptic. I enjoy debunking paranormal videos and pictures. I want the truth. Was I hallucinating? It’s entirely possible I had an extreme and sudden hallucination. It’s not unheard of.This event had a huge impact on my life and completely affected the way I view the world, the paranormal, religion. Everything. shrug.”