moose

dude im stuck in a timeloop and the only way to get out is if you let me bite your thigh so hard i leave teeth marks. just trust me dude

I knew It was over for me once I realized I could escape situations by thinking of fictional gay sex

I want to write my fanfic <- isn’t writing my fanfic

Huge fan of when my speech patterns rub off on people enjoy when thay happens

NEVERMIND MY GRANDMA JUST SAID SKILL ISSUE

you grow a beautiful tree and then balk at its fruits?

He’s got those big wet eyes and you DONT wanna see him on his knees crying??

*puts my cigarettes out on you*

*wuickly smokes it all before you can reach me*

oh a wise guy huh? *rolls up my sleeves* why I oughta…

*wuickly rolls your sleeves back down before you can hit me*