Roope Merchant

you guys are going to sleep at night?? I just die and respawn at the start without all my shit every day

this is what it feels like to be chronically ill

your mutual who disappeared after the hockey season ended is sort of like a dead wife

Every day I wake up and I try to figure out what I did wrong. You know, the big thing I did wrong that everyone knows about but me? which I have yet to figure out what it is, but hey, there’s always tomorrow!

Sometimes the best fic you’ve ever written isn’t on ao3. It’s in 50 frenetic discord messages sent over a fifteen minute span where you and your friend yes and each other into a perfect story that will never actually be written.

I wish to purchase goods and services without entering a blood covenant that entitles the provider to email and text me forever and also store a bunch of my personal data that they’re going to apologize for exposing in a breach in the next five to ten years

at the start of every month everyone reblogs some insane poetry that’s like “august has arrived and again I swallow my bones in the burning sun” and every time I’m like damn that makes no sense. but kind of true.

[ID: A screenshot of two consecutive posts on the Tumblr dashboard. The first is the original post, and the second is a post by @/shesnake that says, “hello august you piece of shit”. End ID]

every august without fail is like i will give you some of the most beautiful golden summer moments of your life but also you will be thinking about childhood and loss constantly. it will always be either 5pm or 2am

SEPARATE CHURCH (AO3) AND STATE (TRADPUB)

ok there’s been enough reblogs from enough people on enough various posts of mine that now i need to stand up for the bitches who don’t fuck of the world. people aren’t writing bad smut because of a lack of having sex. they are writing it because a lot of people have very poor visualization skills and forget halfway through what position characters are supposed to be in, or don’t understand what makes a word a good or bad choice, or can’t create compelling dynamics. i promise that even the sexually inactive, by virtue of also existing within the human form, would know that if you’re behind someone you can’t lick their nipple. and i promise that the frequently sexually active are equally prone to using the word “mewled.” i can pretty much guarantee that having a lot of sex and writing good sex scenes are unrelated. do you think your favorite horror authors are cutting people up in their basements. do you think your favorite food critics are michelin chefs. do you think the people blocking cool combat scenes in movies are routinely getting into cage fights. no they just understand how to utilize tone, pacing, momentum, and the tools of film direction, while keeping action tied to character. like believe it or not this is simply a skill like everything else. idk i always think that that point of view shows a lack of understanding of what makes a sex scene work. it removes the craft of it in a way i find short-sighted. i think people are confused about the reason teenagers are writing bad sex scenes. it’s not because they’re not fucking, it’s because they are young and haven’t had the years to hone their writing craft the way someone older has.

*turns my attention inwards* mmmmm. no *turns my attention back outwards* oh god