i get a strike at the bowling alley and the screen shows the exact time and place that i die

Back in the 1400s you could get one booboo and be fucked forever

No one had time to kiss it better

idk i think its just kind of weird that- *giant invisible hand grabs me by the back of the neck like a kitten and starts lifting me away* god damn it not this again

this passes the bechdel test

actually being out in public is like i am normal i am off-putting everyone is in love with me i am invisible i am going to die alone wow we are a community peace and love on planet earth i am going to get mugged etc.

FOUR mosquitos were in the shower with me this morning... my goodness- talk about a slutty saturday!!!!

is the world really such a terrible place? yesterday i asked if oat milk was extra and the barista said yes so i said ok just regular milk then and when she gave me my chai latte she whispered “i used oat milk ;)” doesnt that make u want to live another day?

How did ancient cultures figure out about the solstice like girl I would not notice that

not a lot else going on back then

so you're telling me this radio is giving head