Me : Hey can I share something I realised about myself ... I feel you might be able to give me some honest feedback
I realise I get distracted too quickly and lack focus ... I start with something and my mind quickly moves to another and then another ... I try to multitask but that just makes a mess of everything... and also this distracts me from what I wanted to do in the first place ... I realise that while running I have very good focus on what I want but when it comes to other things like work or relationships- I’m distracted and sometimes loose track of my end goal. I think the answer is to keep track of what you do and force yourself to return to the task at hand everytime you loose focus .. would love to hear your thoughts
My Friend’s Reply : Hi! Honestly, I don’t think you do that. The only reason is that you still in finding yourself, your path as I am. That’s why the mind is hectic, cause it doesn’t know what exactly is important, and you try this and that, trying to figure out what you really need. But when we see clear our true goal, everything will come down and you, without any doubts, will just go for it, all the other things won’t be matter anymore.
The goals you have now might be not yours, you think with your mind “yes this what I want”, but soul didn’t choose it, it wants something else...that’s why there is no clear path towards it.
The hardest part is to understand what our soul wants.
And I want to suggest you, you need to stop criticizing yourself, thinking bad about yourself, searching problems in you. I feel, the every time you chat or speak, you making cheap yourself, as everything is wrong about you. With this attitude you can’t reach any good results. This calls unconditional love of yourself! It’s hard to reach but it’s very very mandatory if we wanna live happy.
And this lead me to introspect more and my conclusion and reply to her
Me: Wow Good morning and thank you so much ...I must warn you this is a long message... only because it warrants that level of understanding. I read and re read your message many times yesterday and today...each time I read it, the simple eloquence in the language and the precise deep understanding of me was baffling. You are among the very few who managed to pierce the mask and see me as I am and had the genuine honesty and courage to tell me your true thoughts about what you felt was wrong. I once again Thank you for that. It shows sincerity and genuineness two traits in a very rare good and true friendSo here is my understanding and the way forwardTo me - the human being is made up of three bodies
- The physical body - this is what we see
- The mental body - this is how we perceive the world around us
- The emotional body - this is how we react to what we see or around us We sometimes confuse these three for just one - The Physical body we see.I came to this realization especially after reading your last paragraph about unconditional self love... I felt my own words coming back at me 😁, but then I realized, in-spite of me telling this, I haven’t really put this self love to practice.I would look at the mirror and see my physical self and tell myself how lucky I am and love every bit of what I see. Every incremental step I took was towards sculpting this physical body, that explains the clarity when it comes to making my physical goals and reaching them. But as you said the emotional and mental goals are completely different. . Your words have made me realize that unknowingly I’m letting negativity creep into me. The sentence which touched a deep chord in me was this “The goals you have now might be not yours, you think with your mind “yes this what I want”, but soul didn’t choose it, it wants something else...that’s why there is no clear path towards it.
The hardest part is to understand what our soul wants.” These words are really deep.
To know what your soul wants is to align yourself to your real passion. And to do that you are right... you need to shed the negativity and start unconditional self love. This means you need to release your mental and emotional burden. To do that these are some of the steps I am going to do-
- Forgive myself for everything which has happened so far- I can't change it and it has shaped my present - I can control my actions from here-forth
- Forgive and apologize to people and circumstances which have caused me to hurt - Thank those who have been really bad and mean to me because they have just help forge my character by adding fuel to the fire that shapes me
- Realize I'm steel and not paper or wood or fuel which burns out... The heat makes me mould my character, every time I am folded and the force of the hammer beats down on me , I am getting stronger. This means all the circumstances which have been against me, simply must only increase my resolve to fight and win
- Realize that every time we have a choice - to buckle down or to look up and say that every issue that we face is just another situation which will be resolved.
- And as you said, smile not just from outside, but also from within
I realize I find happiness when I see happiness and a positive change in others - through my actions.
Then this is my passion and calling, This is what I need to seek in everything I do and simply ask and answer these questions -
- Is this going to bring happiness - why and how
- Will this better their life
A true friend is like an unapologetic mirror.
Sometimes you need an external stimulus like a voice to follow to find your way out of the maze of life.
You have a talent to understand people, you are very perceptive and intuitive. This is a rare trait and will get you closer to achieving whatever you set out to do. I feel lucky and blessed to have you in my life
Thank you my dearest friend for being there for me and holding the mirror on me 🙏
