𝖘𝖆𝖒𝖒𝖞

Intro post

I feel like the “Faith” episode in season 1 of spn is soo incredibly important to Dean’s character so rant time. In the John Winchester journal book thing (I haven’t actually read it so don’t come at me) we learn about Dean’s first solo mission on his 17th birthday, where he has to salt and burn the bones of two nuns who were inlove with each other in life but then committed suicide because they couldn’t be together, and as a result of this violent death they became vengeful spirits. This is widely agreed on in the fandom as a big contributing factor to deans internalized homophobia because it really showed him “well this is what being queer get you, so might as well not bother”(probably John Winchester’s exact thoughts lol). And in season 1, episode 12, “Faith” Dean gets electrocuted, causing terminal damage to his heart, so Sam takes him to faith healer Roy Le Grange (who was actually Roy’s wife who had enslaved a reaper to trade certain peoples lives who were dying, for others, who would then die of the saved person’s future cause of death) and Dean’s heart is apparently miraculously healed. The boys do further investigation and find out that a different man, in similar health to Dean, had died of a sudden heart attack at the exact time Roy “healed” Dean. Sam then investigates and searches the Le Grange’s home, where he finds Sue Ann’s (Roy’s Wife) spell book and news paper clippings of all the people who’s lives she had traded for the saved, these were all people Sue Ann deemed as “immoral” or “sinners”. The man who’s live was taken in order for Dean to live was Marshal Hall, an openly gay teacher who had been an advocate for equal gender rights had made the local news. I feel like this was a very strong parallel to Dean, how this man who was proud about his identity and helped others who faced discrimination because of their identity/gender, was murdered in order to save a man who was ashamed of his queerness. This most likely made Dean only repress his own feeling more, double down on his homophobia towards himself, and definitely kickstarted his guilt of simply being alive.

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