main masterlist under the cut, still in the works <3
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SHIFTING:
main dr currently: stranger things dr, hogwarts golden trio era dr, fourth wing dr (?)
DR MASTERLISTS: coming soon....
things i'd like shifters to remember
How Awareness Works In Shifting, What Happens To Your Awareness Here When You Shift, and 'Do Other Versions of Me Shift?'; in my perception and what I see likely ౨ৎ
reminders for if you haven't shifted/haven't shifted fully
Manifestation success story (uni application)
FANFICTION
EMPYREAN SERIES:
multiple character:
𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐜𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠; various empyrean series men and how it feels to love them
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michael had been a fan of yours long before he ever met you.
it started with one movie while he was stuck in a hotel room somewhere in europe. then another. then another. before he knew it, he was asking people if they had seen your latest film and getting weirdly excited whenever your interviews came on television. michael liked that you never seemed prepared for them.
while everyone else in hollywood answered questions like they had practiced in front of a mirror before, you always looked like you just wandered into the conversation by accident. half the time you were laughing at something you had said yourself, so when he spotted you across the ballroom at a charity gala in 1997, he knew exactly who you were.
what surprised him was how normal you looked. you weren’t working the room or posing for photographs. you were sitting with a group of older women from the organizing committee, listening so intently to one of their stories that you didn’t even notice half the celebrities walking past your table. he couldn’t stop glancing over, so later while trying to grab a bottle of water, he nearly walked straight into you.
“oh! i’m so sorry.”
you looked up then immediately giggled.
“michael jackson apologizing to me is crazy.”
his face turned pink so fast it was impressive.
after that, talking to you was easy, easier than it should’ve been. he kept waiting for that awkward moment where the conversation stalled out and one of you had to pretend to be interested in the decorations or something, but it never happened. one topic just kept leading to another.
michael’s secretary came over and reminded him that he was supposed to be speaking with one of the donors, and michael nodded, said he’d be there in five minutes, and twenty minutes later he was still standing exactly where she’d left him.
by the time the night started ending, most of the guests had already gone home. staff members were stacking chairs near the back of the room and collecting abandoned programs from empty tables, and somehow the two of you were still talking. when you finally hugged him goodbye, michael sat in the back of the car afterwards staring out the window like an idiot.
this was an idea that came to me last night and i wrote it so fast, so apologies if there is any mistakes ^-^
description: following the demobat attack, eddie's in a coma three hours away fighting for his life. while the rest of the party tries their best to move forward, you find yourself stuck somewhere between hope and grief, balancing your own heartbreak while trying to keep dustin from completely falling apart.
pairing: eddie x you (fem!reader)
tags: post season 4, coma au, reader insert, eddie's gf! reader, hurt/comfort, heavy angst, emotional hurt/comfort, protective reader, season 5 vibe dustin, make sure you have tissues on standby, season 5 vibe steve, everyone in this group needs therapy, dustin smokes a cigarette and immediately regrets it, steve getting clocked, probably one of the most dramatic, emotions-focused fic i have ever written tbh
TW: grief themes, emotion heavy
WC: 6.1k
A/N: so i saw a tiktok edit to 'I Told You Things' by Gracie Abrams that immediately gave me inspo to write this fic. it's very reader and oc heavy, but i promise it's worth it. (definitely tear-jerking fs)
reblogs are always appreciated friends <33
I didn’t run away this time…right?
“Hey…” Nancy’s voice shifts you back into the present. She’s standing at the foot of your bed, soda bottle in one hand and a brown paper bag in the other. You lift your jaw just enough to acknowledge her presence, eyes quickly scanning the scene.
“Your mom said you hadn’t been out much, so I wanted to bring your favorite. Chicken sandwich, extra pickles, no tomato, right? And a Coke, of course.”
You turn your head away, nodding once. “Yeah, that’s great. Thanks, Nance.”
She half-smiles, placing the contents onto your crowded nightstand and slowly approaching you, kneeling on the floor. “We all miss you, y’know? I know school starting tomorrow may be hard, but I think you should try to go.”
She means well; you can tell that much. Nancy would never try to make you do something out of her own selfish desires. And, to a point, she is right. You have a couple more months of school left; then you never have to step foot in Hawkins High ever again.
If only it were that simple, though.
Because now, not only do you have to attend school with the same assholes who make your life a living hell, you now have to do it alone. Sure, you have the party, but it’s not the same.
Nobody's going to walk down the hallways holding your hand, obnoxiously loud and completely unashamed of it. Nobody's going to lean against your locker and make stupid comments just to get a smile out of you. Nobody's going to slip notes into your textbooks or steal fries off your lunch tray while insisting he was "saving you from yourself."
Nobody's going to be there.
The realization still hits you at random. Like a punch. Like a car crash. Like waking up every morning and having to remember all over again.
Nancy watches your face carefully; she's always been good at reading people.
"You don't have to stay all day," she says softly. "Just... maybe try first period. See how it feels."
You let out a dry laugh. "See how it feels?"
Nancy's shoulders sink slightly. "I didn't mean—"
"I know what you meant." Your eyes stay fixed on the wall. "It's just funny."
The word funny comes out sounding anything but. "You know what's gonna happen tomorrow?"
Nancy doesn't answer.
"People are gonna stare."
Your throat tightens.
"They're gonna whisper."
You look down at your hands.
"And they're gonna talk about him."
The room falls silent, because you both know exactly who him is. Not Eddie the person. Not Eddie who spent three hours teaching Dustin how to play guitar. Not Eddie who drove halfway across Indiana because you casually mentioned wanting to see a meteor shower.
No.
They're going to talk about Eddie Munson. The freak. The murderer. The devil worshipper. The missing suspect. The monster. The version of him Hawkins created because the truth was too complicated.
Nancy looks away first. You hate that; you hate when people do that. When they can't even argue because they know you're right.
"He isn't dead." The words leave your mouth before you can stop them.
Nancy freezes. Because nobody talks about it, not really. The Party knows. Steve knows. Robin knows. Nancy knows. Your parents know because they had to. And that's it.
The secret sits between all of you like a loaded gun. Two states away. In a hospital room. Machines breathing and blinking and keeping time. Eddie Munson: twenty feet from life, twenty feet from death. And nobody knows which direction he's moving.
"He isn't dead," you repeat quietly.
Nancy's eyes soften. "I know."
"No, you don't." The words come out sharper than intended. You immediately see the hurt flash across her face.
But you're too tired to apologize. Too angry. Too exhausted. Too everything.
"Everyone keeps acting like he's gone."
"Nobody thinks that."
"You do."
Nancy shakes her head. "I don't."
"You do." Your voice cracks. The first crack all day, the first sign that maybe the anger isn't holding as well as you thought. "Because every time someone talks about him, they use the past tense."
Nancy goes silent.
"'He was funny.'" Your eyes burn.
"'He was brave.'" Your fingers curl into the blanket.
You stare at the ceiling while Nancy stares at the floor. And neither of you says anything for a long moment.
Finally, she speaks first, "Have you talked to Dustin?"
You immediately scoff. "No."
"Why not?"
"Because he doesn't want to talk."
Nancy gives you a look. "Dustin always wants to talk."
You shake your head. "Not anymore."
And that's the worst part, because Dustin Henderson used to talk constantly. Now every conversation feels like pulling teeth.
Every answer is one word. Every smile is fake. Every joke sounds rehearsed. The kid who used to light up every room he walked into now looks permanently pissed off at the world. You understand why, you really do. Because every morning you wake up angry too.
Angry at Vecna. Angry at Hawkins. Angry at the government. Angry at every stupid machine keeping Eddie alive while refusing to wake him up.
Some days you're even angry at him. For being brave. For being stupid. For staying behind. For making the choice he made. But it wouldn’t be Eddie without some stupid decisions, right?
A month into the school year, you'd developed a routine. Not because things had gotten easier, just because people could get used to almost anything, even misery.
You woke up. You got dressed. You ignored your reflection. You went to school. You came home. You stared at the ceiling until sleep finally dragged you under, then you did it all again.
The hallways of Hawkins High felt different now. People had moved on from the "earthquake", from the deaths. From the nightmares...at least on the surface.
But grief had settled into the cracks of everything. You saw it every time you looked at Dustin. At first, everyone had hovered around him. Mike. Lucas. Will. His mom. You.
The entire Party treating him like he might shatter if somebody breathed too hard. The problem was that Dustin Henderson hated being treated like glass. So eventually everyone stopped, everyone except you.
Not because you thought he was fragile, but because you knew exactly how much energy it took to pretend you weren't. You saw it in the way he walked through the halls now: head down, shoulders tense, jaw constantly clenched.
The bright-eyed kid who used to wave his arms around while talking now kept his hands shoved into his pockets. The kid who used to laugh loud enough to get yelled at by teachers now barely spoke in class. And whenever somebody mentioned Eddie, you saw it.
The split-second flinch to the immediate anger. The way he looked like he wanted to swing at somebody. So you stayed close.
Not hovering, just nearby, close enough to step in when necessary. Which, unfortunately, was becoming a full-time job.
"Dude, seriously, stop." You grabbed the back of Dustin's jacket as he attempted to launch himself across the cafeteria.
"LET GO OF ME."
"No."
"He's literally asking for it."
Across the room, Jason Carver's former teammates sat laughing at a table. One of them made a dramatic devil-horn gesture when he noticed Dustin looking. The others laughed. Dustin immediately tried to commit murder, again.
You hauled him backward. "Dustin."
"He called Eddie a freak."
"He always calls Eddie a freak."
"Exactly."
"Dustin."
"Let me hit him."
"No."
"One punch."
"No."
"Half a punch."
You sighed. "No such thing."
He groaned loudly as you dragged him toward the exit doors. "You're worse than Steve."
"Thank you."
"That wasn't a compliment."
"It is today."
The second the cafeteria doors shut behind you, Dustin yanked his arm free. "Why do you keep stopping me?"
You stared at him. "Seriously?"
"Yeah." His face was red, eyes bright with anger. "Nobody does anything."
"Dustin—"
"They say whatever they want." His voice cracked. "They get to talk about him like he's some psychopath and everybody just lets them."
The fight immediately left your body, because there it was: the real reason. Not anger, pain.
You leaned back against the wall. "He thinks he knows who Eddie was. But we know the real him, and that's what matters"
Dustin looked away. "It doesn't matter."
"It does."
"No." His laugh sounded bitter. "It really doesn't."
The hallway fell quiet. Students passed by, lockers slammed, a teacher yelled somewhere in the distance. But neither of you moved.
Finally, Dustin muttered, "I should've been quicker."
Your heart dropped. "Dustin."
"I should've."
"You know that's not true."
"How?" His voice rose immediately. "How do you know?"
You pushed away from the wall. "Because if you had gone back, you'd be dead too."
"Maybe."
"No."
"DON'T."
Several students turned to look. Dustin lowered his voice immediately, but somehow it sounded even worse. "Don't tell me what would've happened."
You swallowed. Because this conversation? Is one that kept coming back, the one neither of you ever won.
"He was alone."
"Dustin."
"He was alone, and I was too injured to get there quicker."
Your throat tightened, because you'd thought the same thing. A thousand times. Ten thousand. Every night. Every morning. Every second in between. But you couldn't let him live there, not forever.
"You know what would've happened if you went back? If you tried to step in?"
Dustin crossed his arms. "What?"
"Eddie would've thrown you through a wall and made you leave."
His mouth twitched, just barely. The smallest crack in the anger.
"He would've. You know he would've"
Dustin rolled his eyes. "Probably."
"Definitely."
"He would've called me a little shit."
"Absolutely."
The corner of his mouth lifted, then immediately fell again. But it was something. You'd learned to count those moments.
The knock came a little after nine. You almost didn't hear it.
The cigarette balanced lazily between your fingers as you sat on the front porch steps, wrapped in one of Eddie’s old hoodies despite the lingering warmth of September. The neighborhood was quiet. Crickets sang somewhere in the distance, and a dog barked a few houses over.
For the first time all day, your head had finally gone quiet. Then came the knock. Not on the front door, but on the porch railing. You turned your head and immediately sat up.
"Dustin?"
His left eye was swelling. There was blood on his lip. More smeared across the collar of his shirt. One knuckle looked completely split open.
"Dustin, what the hell happened?"
He shrugged the world's most Dustin Henderson shrug. "Got into a fight."
You stared. "A fight."
"Yeah."
"Dustin."
"What?"
"Dustin."
His eyes rolled. "Oh my God, please stop saying my name like that."
You stood up. "What happened?"
"Some guy."
"What guy?"
"Some asshole."
"What asshole?"
"The usual kind."
You sighed. Of course. Of course it was that. You already knew before he even said it. The bruises. The expression. The way he was trying way too hard to act normal. Somebody had said something about Eddie. Again.
You moved aside and jerked your head toward the porch steps. "Sit."
"I'm fine."
"Dustin."
"Okay, Jesus."
He sat. You disappeared inside long enough to grab a first aid kit from the bathroom before returning. The second you sat down beside him, he groaned.
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
"You aren't my mom."
"Thank God for that."
He snorted.
You grabbed his chin before he could protest and turned his face toward the porch light. The split lip looked nasty. Nothing broken, probably. Hopefully.
"You should see the other guy."
"Did you win?"
A small grin appeared. "Barely."
"Proud of you."
"Thank you."
"You shouldn't have done it."
"I know."
You dabbed antiseptic against his lip, and he hissed. "Ow."
"Good."
"You're mean."
"So I've been told."
The conversation faded after that. You finished patching up his knuckles while he stared out into the darkness beyond your yard.
Eventually he spoke.
"I miss him." The words came so quietly you almost missed them.
"I know."
Dustin swallowed; you could see the tension building in his jaw. The way he was trying to keep himself together. The way he'd been trying for months.
"He would've loved this."
You glanced over. "What?"
"The fight." A watery laugh escaped him. "He would've thought it was hilarious."
You smiled despite yourself. "He would've bought you ice cream afterward."
"Exactly."
"And told everyone you won way harder than you actually did."
Dustin nodded. "Exactly."
"I hope he wakes up," he whispers.
You looked down at the bandage wrapped around his hand. "So do I."
"No." His voice cracked. "I really hope he wakes up."
And there it was, the thing neither of you ever said out loud. Because hoping meant acknowledging the possibility that he might not.
The possibility sat in the corner of every room. Every conversation. Every hospital update. Every phone call. Nobody wanted to look at it, but it was always there.
Dustin wiped aggressively at his eyes, angry at the tears before they even fell.
"I just..." His shoulders shook. "I just need him to wake up."
Your chest tightened. "Dustin."
"He deserves to." The tears came anyway.
"I know."
"He deserves to see Wayne again."
"I know."
"He deserves to play another show."
"I know."
"He deserves—" His voice broke completely; the rest of the sentence never came out.
You wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him closer immediately. No hesitation, no questions. Because some hurts couldn't be fixed, only carried. And for a few minutes, Dustin cried.
Hard enough to let some of it out, enough to breathe again. Eventually he leaned back, red-eyed and embarrassed. You pretended not to notice, a kindness the both of you appreciated. Then his gaze landed on the cigarette still burning between your fingers.
"Oh."
"No."
"What?"
"No."
His eyes narrowed. "You know what I'm gonna ask."
"Absolutely not."
"Come on."
"No."
"One hit."
"Dustin."
"One."
"No."
"I'm basically an adult."
"You are fifteen."
"Close enough."
You laughed. "Not even remotely."
He groaned dramatically. "Please."
You stared at him, then at the bruises, then at the exhausted expression. Then back at him.
"This is a horrible idea."
"Probably."
"A terrible one."
"Definitely."
"You better not tell anybody."
His face lit up as you handed it over, immediately regretting every life decision that had led you here. Dustin took the cigarette, trying very hard to look cool. Trying even harder to look experienced. Then he inhaled.
A second later, he nearly died. The coughing started instantly, while you doubled over laughing.
"Oh, my God."
"SHUT UP."
He coughed harder. "THAT'S DISGUSTING."
"You're such an idiot."
"Why do people do that voluntarily?"
"Excellent question."
Dustin handed the cigarette back as if it had personally betrayed him. You were still laughing when the phone rang, freezing you both. You exchanged a look, then stood.
"Probably my mom."
"Probably."
The phone continued ringing. You stepped inside, crossed the living room, and picked up the receiver. "Hello?"
Static. Then, "Get to the Wheelers."
You blinked. "Steve?"
"Yep."
"Why?"
"Mandatory meeting."
"What happened?"
"Can't say."
"Steve."
"Can't say."
"Steve."
"Nope."
"What kind of mandatory meeting?"
Steve sighed. "The kind where everyone needs to be here."
“Fine.”
The second you walked into the Wheeler basement, you knew something was wrong. Not apocalypse wrong, not Upside Down wrong, just...wrong.
Everyone was there. Mike sat on the couch, arms crossed tightly over his chest. Will was beside him, staring holes into the carpet. Lucas and Max occupied the recliner, knees bouncing anxiously. Robin was pacing. Nancy stood with her arms folded. And Steve—
Steve looked like he was about to deliver the world's worst speech. The second Dustin entered behind you, the room went quiet. A sinking feeling settled into your stomach.
"Oh, you've got to be kidding me."
Nobody answered, which was answer enough. Dustin immediately turned around. "Nope."
"Dustin—"
"Nope."
"Dude, just sit down."
"Nope."
Steve stepped forward. "Dustin."
"What?"
"Sit."
Dustin looked at the room, then at you, then back at the room. His face twisted immediately. "Oh, my God."
"Dustin—"
"You guys are serious?"
You rubbed a hand down your face. "Steve."
"We just want to talk."
The words sounded rehearsed, which meant they probably were.
Dustin barked out a laugh. "Oh, this is an intervention."
Robin immediately pointed at him. "Okay, don't call it that."
"It literally is."
"It isn't."
"It literally is."
"It isn't."
"It definitely is."
"Can everybody just sit down?" Nancy asked.
Against every instinct in his body, Dustin finally dropped onto the couch, and you sat beside him. Steve cleared his throat, then immediately looked uncomfortable.
"We're worried about you."
Dustin stared, blank-faced and silent as Steve continued. "You've been getting into fights."
No response.
"You're getting detention almost every week."
Nothing.
"You skipped three classes last Thursday."
Dustin finally spoke. "Four."
Steve blinked. "What?"
"It was four."
"Dustin."
"I'm just correcting you."
You could practically feel Mike's patience evaporating. "Dude, that's not the point."
Dustin turned toward him. "Then what's the point?"
Mike opened his mouth, hesitated, then realized the only way out was through. "The point is you're acting like an asshole."
The room immediately went still. You closed your eyes, because there it was, the exact wrong thing to say.
"Damn it, Mike."
"What?" Mike asked.
"Dude."
"What?"
Dustin laughed. "Oh, I'm acting like an asshole."
Mike groaned. "That's not what I meant."
"No, it is."
"Dustin."
"No, go ahead." He leaned back, crossing his arms. "Tell me how much I suck."
Nobody spoke, and the tension thickened. Lucas finally leaned forward. "Dustin, nobody thinks you suck."
"Then why am I here?"
"Because we're worried."
"About what?"
Lucas hesitated, and that hesitation said everything. Because nobody wanted to say it.
Nobody wanted to admit it. Nobody wanted to be the first person to acknowledge what everyone already knew.
You watched Dustin realize it in real time. Watched the anger drain away, and saw something else take its place. Something worse.
"You think I'm becoming him."
The room froze, and Mike immediately shook his head.
"No,” but it sounded weak.
"You think I'm becoming Eddie."
"Dustin—"
"No."
His voice rose. "You think I'm becoming some angry screw-up who gets into fights and skips class and ends up dead."
The word dead hit the room like a gunshot. Robin looked away. Nancy swallowed. Will stared at the floor. And Steve looked heartbroken. "Dustin."
But Dustin was already standing. "You know what's funny?"
Nobody answered.
"You all get to be worried." His voice shook. "You all get to sit here and talk about grief and healing and moving forward." The room fell silent. "But nobody asks me."
"I'm done."
"Dustin."
"No."
"Dustin."
"No."
And then he was gone, storming up the basement stairs. The door slammed hard enough to shake the room. You stood fast enough that your chair nearly tipped over.
"Seriously?"
Steve blinked. "What?"
"What?" The word came out sharp, months of anger suddenly finding somewhere to go. "What the hell was that?"
Steve's face immediately hardened. "We were trying to help."
"No."
You shook your head. "You were trying to fix him. And nice going, by the way. Real efficient work."
By the time you got upstairs and outside, Dustin was long gone. You knew exactly where he’d be hiding, but you knew better than to provoke him when he was feeling this way. So, you leaned against the Wheelers’ house and sparked another cigarette.
You remembered how Eddie would always read you like a book; the mere sight of you with a cigarette tucked behind your lips always earned a “What’s stressing you out, sweetheart?” The thought of him tucking your hair behind your ear while he asked caused a teary-eyed laugh to escape you.
“You okay?” Steve asked, popping around the side of the house.
You laughed, pulling another long drag before answering, “Peachy.”
Steve shoved his hands into the pockets of his jacket and leaned against the siding a few feet away. The cigarette glowed softly between your fingers. The sounds of the Wheeler basement drifted faintly through the house. You already knew everybody inside was talking about Dustin.
Trying to figure out what went wrong. Trying to figure out how to fix him, like he was a broken appliance.
"You know," Steve finally said, "the intervention wasn't just for him."
You looked over. "What?"
His jaw tightened. "It was for you too."
Immediately, your expression darkened. "Excuse me?"
Steve sighed. "I knew you'd react like that."
"No, seriously." You pointed at yourself with the cigarette. "Explain."
"You've been letting him get away with everything."
You actually laughed; a short, humorless sound. "Oh, we're doing this?"
"Yeah." Steve straightened. "We are."
You stared at him, waiting.
"He's getting into fights every week."
"He misses Eddie."
"Everybody misses Eddie."
"Right, because you and him were so close."
Steve stared you down for a second, then continued.
"And every time he gets himself into trouble, you're right there covering for him."
You scoffed. "Because somebody has to."
"No." Steve shook his head. "Somebody has to be the adult."
You looked away, taking another drag, trying very hard not to lose your temper; it wasn't working.
Steve continued anyway. "He smells like cigarettes now."
Your eyes narrowed. "What?"
"You heard me."
"Steve."
"He smells like cigarettes."
Your stomach dropped, because of course he'd noticed. Everyone probably had. Dustin had only taken a couple of drags that night, but still. You knew where this was heading.
"You think I encouraged him to smoke?"
Steve gave you a look, a look that answered the question all by itself.
You barked out a laugh. "Oh, my God."
"I'm serious."
"You think I'm corrupting Dustin?"
"I think you're both spiraling."
The cigarette trembled slightly between your fingers. You hated that he wasn't entirely wrong, and you hated it even more because he was saying it.
"That's rich."
Steve's eyebrows furrowed. "What does that mean?"
You looked at him. And suddenly all the anger you'd been carrying around for months rose to the surface; raw and ugly.
"You wanna know what's rich?" Your voice dropped, dangerously calm.
"Maybe if you weren't trying so hard to play hero for Nancy..."
Steve immediately froze.
"...Eddie would've never had to."
The silence that followed felt radioactive. Steve's face went blank, then hardened fast.
"Don't."
"Oh, don't?" You laughed. "No, let's."
"Don't do that."
"Let's." You took another long drag, tilting your head back to exhale.
"I think the real reason why you're so pissed that Dustin is acting this way is that he's pushing you away. Which is funny, isn't it?"
You laughed, shaking your head. "While you were busy chasing tail and pushing him away, he found someone who actually cared about him and his interests. Kinda selfish to ask him to just fall back into your arms now, isn't it?"
His jaw clenched. "Eddie didn't have to play hero either."
The words hit you like a slap, causing your eyes to widen. "What?"
"He didn't."
Steve stepped closer. "He made a choice."
"He saved your life."
"He made a choice."
"He saved everyone's life."
"He made a stupid choice. And for what? The towns still fucked."
Something inside you snapped. The cigarette hit the grass; you flicked it away so hard it disappeared into the darkness.
"What did you just say?"
Steve immediately realized he'd gone too far. But it was already out there, already hanging between you. Already impossible to take back.
"He shouldn't have stayed."
Your chest tightened.
"He shouldn't have been there."
"Steve."
"He shouldn't have gone back."
"Steve."
"He shouldn't have—"
"He did it because you couldn't!" The words exploded out of you. Steve physically recoiled. "He did it because somebody had to."
"That's bullshit."
"No." You stepped closer. "That's the truth."
His face darkened. "No."
"Eddie picked up the slack."
"Stop."
"Somebody had to save everyone."
"STOP."
The shout echoed through the quiet neighborhood, and you both froze, breathing hard. Months of grief. Months of guilt. Months of anger. All finally spilling out.
Steve ran a hand through his hair, looking absolutely exhausted.
"You wanna know what nobody says?"
Your stomach dropped because his tone had changed. This wasn't anger anymore; this was something worse, something bitter and ugly.
"Nobody says what happens if he wakes up."
You stared, not understanding. "What?"
Steve laughed, but there wasn't anything funny in it. "If he wakes up."
The words felt wrong, like hearing someone curse in church. If. If. You couldn't breathe.
Steve looked away toward the road, toward the darkness, towards anywhere but you. "You think everything just goes back to normal?"
Your heartbeat pounded in your ears. "Steve."
"No."
"Everybody keeps talking about him waking up like it's some miracle ending."
Your hands curled into fists. "Stop talking."
"But what then?"
"Steve."
"What then?"
His eyes found yours. "And before you say it, I know he's innocent." The words came fast now, years of frustration pouring out. "But Hawkins doesn't."
You shook your head. "Stop."
"Half the town thinks he murdered people."
"Steve."
"The cops still want him."
"Steve."
"And if he comes back—"
Your stomach twisted. "Shut up."
"—if he comes back—"
"Shut up."
"—he's still gonna be the freak."
The world narrowed. "Steve."
"He's still gonna be the murderer to them."
"Stop."
"And honestly?" The next words sealed his fate. "All it's gonna do is make everyone's lives harder."
You hit him, hard. The crack echoed across the Wheeler yard. Steve stumbled backward, completely shocked, one hand immediately flying to his jaw.
You'd never hit anybody before, not like that. Not with every ounce of anger in your body behind it. But this? This felt easy.
Steve stared at you, breathing hard, and you stared right back. Eyes burning, tears finally spilling over.
Months of grief. Months of fear. Months of watching the person you loved fight for his life hundreds of miles away. Months of pretending you were okay, gone.
"Fuck you, Steve." Your voice shook. "Fuck. You."
Steve didn't say anything. Maybe because he knew he'd crossed a line. Maybe because part of him agreed. Maybe because he saw the tears. You didn't care; you just turned and walked away.
And when Steve called your name, you didn't stop.
The ride to the hospital was a long, blurry mess. After Steve’s botched attempt at an intervention, you ran home and immediatley hopped in your car. The only person you wanted to see was five hours away, and nothing was stopping you from seeing him, even if that person couldn’t talk back.
By the time you arrived, it was well after midnight. The familiar fluorescent lights of the hospital made your stomach twist the same way they always did. You knew the route by heart now. Past the front desk. Down the long hallway. Left at the nurses' station. Third door on the right.
You hated that you knew it by heart.
The room was dark except for the glow of the monitors. The steady beeping filled the silence as you stepped inside and quietly closed the door behind you. Eddie looked exactly the same as he had the last time you were here. Same pale skin. Same curls spread against the pillow. Same stillness that made your chest ache every single time you looked at him.
"Hey, handsome." Your voice sounded rough.
You dropped your bag onto the chair and moved toward him automatically, settling into your usual routine. The nurses knew you by now. They never stopped you when you came in. Half the time they left extra blankets in the room because they knew you'd end up staying all night.
You sat down beside him and reached for the brush on the nightstand. Carefully, gently, you began working through his curls.
"You're getting ridiculous, you know that?" you murmured. "I swear your hair is longer than mine now."
The corners of your mouth twitched. "You'd probably love that."
Once his curls were untangled, you reached for the small cassette player you'd practically worn out over the past few months. The tape clicked softly as it started playing. His mixtape, the one he'd made for you. The one you'd listened to so many times that every crackle and skip was memorized.
The music filled the room quietly. For a moment, you just listened. Then your eyes burned again. Because of course they did.
"You remember when you gave me this?" you asked softly. "You spent three days pretending it wasn't a gift because you were nervous."
A laugh escaped you. "You literally left it in my locker and acted shocked when I found it."
Your hand found his; cold and still.
"You were so bad at flirting." You stared down at your intertwined fingers.
"You know, I was thinking about that day at Lover's Lake. The one where you nearly tipped the boat because you were trying to impress me."
A small smile tugged at your lips despite yourself. "You swore you knew what you were doing."
You laughed through your nose. "You absolutely did not know what you were doing."
The memory lingered for a second before fading. And suddenly the smile disappeared, just like it always did. Because every good memory ended the same way now. With the realization that it was a memory. Not something you'd get to experience again. At least not yet.
Your throat tightened. "Dustin's having a rough time."
Your voice dropped. "He got into another fight."
You rubbed your thumb across the back of Eddie's hand. "I think he misses you more than he knows how to admit."
The tears came before you could stop them. "He acts tough about it. Tries to be angry instead of sad."
You swallowed. "Guess he learned that from us."
Your gaze dropped to the floor. The words started spilling out before you could stop them, like they always did when it was just the two of you, him awake or not.
"Everybody's falling apart, Eds."
Your voice cracked.
"Mike and Lucas keep snapping at each other. Robin's pretending she's okay. Nancy barely sleeps. Wayne calls every week asking if there's any change and I never know what to tell him."
Your shoulders slumped. "And Dustin..." You shook your head. "Dustin's breaking my heart."
The room remained silent, only the music answered. Only the machines. Only the steady reminder that he was still here. Still breathing. Still fighting.
You wiped angrily at your eyes. "I'm trying."
Another tear slipped down your cheek. "I'm really trying."
"I keep telling myself if I can just hold everybody together a little longer, you'll wake up, and everything will be okay."
You laughed. The sound was pathetic. "I know that's stupid."
Your eyes closed. "Some days I don't even feel like me anymore."
The tears came harder now. Months of grief finally finding somewhere to go.
"I punched Steve." A watery laugh escaped you. "There. Thought you'd appreciate that."
You sniffled. "He said some really awful stuff."
Your voice trembled. "So I punched him."
Another laugh, another sob. "Honestly, you'd probably be proud."
You covered your face. The ugly crying started then, the kind nobody ever talks about. The kind that leaves your chest aching, your nose running, and your entire body shaking. You stared down at the floor. At your shoes. At anything except him. Because looking at him hurt too much.
"I miss you." The words came out broken. "I miss you so much."
You squeezed your eyes shut. The tears wouldn't stop. "I need you."
Your shoulders shook. "Please wake up."
Nothing. Just silence. Just the tape playing softly. Just another night. Just another conversation that would never be answered. You dropped your head, staring at the floor. Crying too hard to even wipe your face anymore.
Then, a rasp. Tiny, barely audible. Your brow furrowed, and you froze. The room suddenly felt too quiet. Another sound, a rough inhale.
And then, "Hey..."
Your head snapped upward and every muscle in your body locked. For one horrible second, you thought you imagined it. Thought exhaustion had finally gotten to you. But then you saw it. His eyes. Open. Heavy. Groggy. Confused. But open.
Your breath caught violently in your throat. Neither of you moved. Neither of you breathed. Eddie blinked slowly. His gaze wandered around the room before finally settling on you. Even exhausted. Even weak. Even after everything, he recognized you immediately.
A tiny smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. "Hey, pretty girl."
A sob escaped you; fresh tears immediately spilled down your face.
Eddie frowned weakly, or at least attempted to. His voice came out rough and scratchy from disuse.
"No crying."
You laughed and cried at the same time, completely unable to stop either. His eyes fluttered slightly, still fighting to stay open.
But the smile remained. "No crying, sweetheart."
The next hour felt less like reality, and more like some strange dream you were terrified of waking up from. You cried, a lot. Eddie was awake for maybe thirty seconds before you burst into tears all over again, which earned you a weak, sleepy laugh and a very groggy, "Jesus Christ, sweetheart."
Then you cried harder. Then a nurse came running in because your hysterical sobbing had apparently convinced half the floor that somebody was dying. Then doctors appeared. Then more nurses. Then you got shoved into the hallway while they checked everything.
And the entire time, Eddie never took his eyes off you, like he was afraid if he blinked you'd disappear. The second a doctor finally confirmed that yes, Eddie was awake, yes, he was responding appropriately, and yes, this wasn't some bizarre fluke, your hands immediately found the nearest phone.
The first call was Wayne. You barely got through the words. "He's awake."
The line went silent, then you heard Wayne start crying.
The second call was Dustin. You didn't even bother with hello. "Get in the car."
"What?"
"Get in the car."
"Why?"
"Dustin."
A pause. Then, "...why are you crying?"
You laughed, the first genuine laugh you'd had in months. "Just get in the damn car."
Twenty minutes later, every person you knew seemed to be squeezing into a hospital room designed for about three people.
Robin was crying. Nancy was crying. Wayne was definitely crying. Lucas looked like he was trying not to cry. Mike had completely given up trying not to cry. Will was standing quietly in the corner looking like he might pass out from relief.
And Dustin? Dustin hadn't left Eddie's side once. Not for a second. Not even when nurses politely suggested giving the patient some room, especially not then. You stood near the back of the room watching as Dustin practically sat on the edge of the hospital bed.
"You're an asshole."
Eddie blinked slowly. "What?"
"You're an asshole."
A weak smile pulled at Eddie's lips. "Good morning to you too."
Dustin's face immediately crumpled. "You suck."
"Dustin—"
"You suck."
Eddie's expression softened immediately, months of missed conversations suddenly sitting between them. "I know."
Dustin looked away. His eyes were already watering again. "You weren't supposed to do that."
The room went silent. Nobody interrupted, and nobody moved. Because this wasn't for them; it never was.
Eddie swallowed. "You okay, Henderson?"
Dustin laughed, A broken sound. "No."
Eddie nodded slowly. "Yeah."
Then Dustin did something that would've mortified him under normal circumstances. He hugged him, immediately and without warning. Without caring who saw, practically throwing himself against Eddie's side. You quietly slipped from the room before anyone noticed. Or at least before anyone besides Steve noticed.
The hospital coffee tasted exactly how hospital coffee always tasted. Like disappointment. You stood beside the vending machine, staring out the window while the paper cup warmed your hands.
The sunrise was beginning to creep over the horizon. Everything felt strange. Good, but strange. You still hadn't quite convinced yourself this was real. Footsteps approached; you didn't need to look up to know whose they belonged to.
"Hey, Harrington."
"Hey." Steve stopped beside you. "You hit really hard."
You barked out a laugh, and Steve rubbed his jaw dramatically. "I'm serious."
"Oh my God."
"I think you rearranged my face."
"I barely hit you."
Steve stared. "Nancy literally begged to take me to the hospital. Or the dentist."
You snorted into your coffee. "That's embarrassing."
"It is."
A small smile appeared on his face, the first you'd seen in a while. Then it disappeared.
"Hey."
You looked over; Steve shoved his hands into his pockets. "I'm sorry. For what I said."
The exhaustion in his voice sounded genuine. "I shouldn't have said it."
You stared down into your coffee.
"No." You swallowed. "You shouldn't have."
Steve nodded. "For the record."
You glanced over as Steve pointed toward the room. "If Munson finds out you broke my face, I'm telling him it was self-defense."
You laughed despite yourself. "You literally outweigh me by fifty pounds."
"And?"
"I'll hit you again."
“I’m sure you would.
Eventually the two of you made your way back down the hallway. The closer you got to the room, the louder the voices became. Robin. Dustin. Wayne. Mike. Everybody talking over each other, just like old times.
The second you stepped inside, Eddie's attention immediately snapped toward the door. Still pale. Still exhausted. Still looking like he'd been through hell. But awake.
A smile tugged at his lips when he saw you, then his eyes drifted toward Steve. His brow furrowed immediately. "Whoa."
The room quieted, and Steve froze. Eddie squinted, looking genuinely concerned. "Harrington."
Steve sighed. "No."
"What happened to your face?"
Steve pointed directly at you. "Ask your girlfriend."
A couple of weeks passed.
Not enough time to undo everything that had happened. Not enough time to heal months of fear and grief and nightmares that still woke everyone up in the middle of the night.
But enough for things to start feeling... possible again.
The doctors were cautiously optimistic. Eddie was still weaker than he'd ever admit out loud, still attending physical therapy, still complaining every single time someone reminded him to take it easy, but he was alive. Awake. Walking. Talking. Smiling.
Complaining. Which, according to Wayne, was the best sign of recovery they could've asked for.
The situation with Hawkins, however, was a little more complicated.
You'd gone straight to Hopper. He hadn't even let you finish your sentence before pinching the bridge of his nose and muttering, "Kid, I'm already working on it."
The whole story had been laid out in front of him. Owens had done what he could behind the scenes, Hopper had done the rest, and somewhere between paperwork, witness statements that would never see the light of day, and a whole lot of pulling strings that probably weren't entirely legal, the investigation into Eddie Munson quietly lost steam.
No dramatic public apology, no newspaper retracting everything they'd said, no magical moment where Hawkins suddenly realized they'd been wrong.
Just the charges disappearing. The warrants disappearing. His name disappearing from conversations. It wasn't justice, but it was enough.
Enough that Eddie could come home. Enough that he could enroll again. Enough that, after everything, he was finally going to graduate.
The morning he walked through the front doors of Hawkins High, the entire Party had insisted on escorting him in like he was some kind of celebrity. Dustin practically refused to leave Eddie's side for the entire day.
Eddie looked around the hallway with that same crooked grin you'd fallen in love with and whispered, "I still hate this place."
You laughed so hard you had to grab onto his arm. Months ago, you'd convinced yourself you'd never hear his voice again. Now he was complaining about school. Life was weird, wonderfully weird.
By the end of October, he'd started driving again. By November, he'd started playing guitar again.
The first time he picked it up, he'd only made it through half a song before quietly setting it back down, frustrated with how stiff his fingers felt.
You hadn't said a word. You'd just sat beside him, rested your head on his shoulder, taken his hand.
He looked at you for a long time before muttering, "You'll tell me if I suck now, right?"
You smiled. "I always did."
He rolled his eyes. "Brutal."
"You love me."
"I do." Then, after a dramatic pause, "But you're brutal."
Eventually the leaves started changing. The air turned cold enough that Eddie started stealing your jackets instead of the other way around.
One afternoon the two of you drove with no destination in mind until you ended up parked beside an open field just outside town. The grass had gone golden, the sky stretching endlessly overhead.
No monsters. No sirens. No hospitals. No machines. Just silence.
You spread out an old blanket and laid down first, staring up at the clouds. A second later, Eddie flopped down beside you with an exaggerated groan before immediately rolling over and pulling you against him.
You pressed your face against his chest, just because you could. His fingers absentmindedly combed through your hair.
Neither of you spoke for a while; you didn't have to. Eventually, he broke the silence, because of course he would.
"You know..."
"Hm?"
"I don't remember everything."
You tilted your head just enough to look at him. "What do you remember?"
He thought about it. "Bits."
"The bats."
You nodded.
"Wayne."
Another nod.
"I remember you crying."
You laughed quietly. "That doesn't narrow it down much."
"It really doesn't."
He smiled, then his expression softened. "I remember hearing your voice."
Your chest tightened. "When?"
"I don't know." His thumb brushed gently across your cheek. "It felt like every day."
You swallowed hard. "I talked a lot."
"I know."
"I told you everything."
"I know."
"I talked about Dustin."
"I know."
"I complained about Steve."
A grin tugged at the corner of his mouth. "I definitely know."
Your eyes stung. "I played your mixtape until I think I almost broke it."
His smile only grew. "I know that too."
You stared at him, confused.
"I heard you."
The world seemed to stop. "What?"
His voice was barely above a whisper. "I couldn't move."
"I couldn't answer." His own eyes had started to water now. "But I heard you."
A tear slipped down your cheek before you could stop it.
"I heard every story."
Another.
"I heard you tell me about Dustin getting into fights."
Another.
"I heard you complain about hospital coffee."
You laughed through your tears, he reached up and brushed them away with his thumb.
"And..." His own voice cracked. "I heard you tell me you weren't giving up on me."
You couldn't speak; your throat had closed completely. So you just nodded a tiny, shaky nod.
Eddie smiled, small and tender. "You didn't."
"No."
"You could've."
"I wasn't going to."
"You should've."
"I wasn't going to."
Silence settled between you again. Then you leaned forward until your forehead rested against his.
"I would've sat in that hospital room for another ten years if I had to."
He shut his eyes, and a tear escaped anyway. "I know."
"I would've waited twenty."
"I know."
"I would've waited my whole life."
His breathing hitched.
You smiled through your own tears. "There wasn't really another option."
He looked at you for a long moment before leaning in and kissing you. Slowly, with no urgency and no desperation. Just gentle, soft enough that it felt more like a promise than a kiss.
When he pulled away, his forehead stayed against yours. "I love you."
You smiled. "I know."
He immediately frowned. "That's it?"
You laughed. "I love you too."
"Better."
Another kiss. Then another. One pressed against your forehead. Another against your temple. One against the tip of your nose just because he knew it made you laugh.
The sun continued sinking lower across the field.
Wrapped up in his arms, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat, you realized this was something that would've seemed impossible a few months ago.
Who cutting onions!?!?!?!
I'm sorry, I had to write this, though. I had that fight scene with Steve in my brain for a while.
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staying up past midnight to write fanfiction about the things, people, and characters i love. allowing myself to indulge in the ideas i love to share and out into shape. i missed this fulfilment and im so glad its back
Thinking of cuddles with Eddie (writing this to go to sleep. If any of my irls find this, yes I am this way and I won’t apologise)
^O^
a/n: this is a draft from DECEMBER i havent touched and cant be bothered adding to lmao enjoy
He is so. Warm. You barely need a blanket, but he always insists on keeping you comfortable, so you comply.
You lay in his bed, wind faintly rattling the windows of the trailer. You’re against his chest, his fingertips pressed against the bare skin of your shoulder, his hand and wrist slipped under your shirt, tracing idle patterns.
“Did you enjoy sitting in on my campaign today?” He asks gently.
“Mhm. But I think I’ll have to write you a list of things I need translated.”
He snorts, turning his head to you a little. “Sure. Whatever you need.”
You nod, settling against him. “I like watching you do them. You always have so much fun.”
“That’s why we play.” He sighs, settling against the pillows more. “You really should join us at some point.
“I don’t know if I’d be able to keep up. And I don’t know if I’d fit.”
“You definitely would. And as for keeping up, I’d force the others into going slow for you. Maybe like some kind of slice of life shit you seem to enjoy.” He smiles when that gets a chuckle out of you.
“Yeah, maybe. One day. Just gotta build the confidence.”
“No time like the present.”
You play with his rings on the hand that sits on your stomach, and he lets you. It’s like a self regulation tool for you both. Time to decompress.
“You’re so cozy.” The words escape you in a contented mumble, your body relaxing even more. Your heart beats against your chest like a metronome, pulsing against him. He relishes in knowing you’re genuinely here and not some imaginary friend he got too close to.
“You’re my safe person. My favourite.”
He closes his eyes to compose himself, using the silence and quiet to ease him, to wane himself from being flustered at your words.
“You’re my favourite, too. My only. Nobody else but you.” He murmurs, making you grin, heart racing despite the calm.
henry creel x reader nsfw headcanons ༚༅༚˳ . ♱ . ˳༚༅༚
MDNI please genuinely. i can't control who reads what but do not directly interact!! please!!
content tidbits; virgin henry, afab and/or f!reader (female genitalia mentioned), praise/degradation, switch!henry, use of powers in the bedroom, mindscape!henry but more domesticated, breeding kink ouup, marking/biting, oral (both receiving), swearing, edging, sadomasochism, sex under the influence (a little), food play, light bdsm, brief anal mention
wordcount;
a/n; this is my first published smuttttt im nervous. praying to the tumblr gods no major irls find this post. i have little shame but i also do a smidge, ENJOY!
fic radio; Around My Neck - FINNEAS
mans is a virgin until you. its obvious. he isn't oblivious, but he's inexperienced. until you his knowledge of sex is very vanilla. whether you're also a virgin or not, he still wants your first time together to be with just as much depth regardless.
gets pussy drunk FASTTTT it does not matter what part of him is closest to it, he will melt. he will drown in you.
SWITCH. Submissive in the sense he likes the idea of feeling rather than controlling, but also dominant in the sense he just generally gets off on being a superior. It depends on the day, time, and circumstance
He likes the idea of almost getting caught. There aren’t many chances for that to take place, but the thought makes him all 😼
heavy on sir/mistress titles. thrives off that shit.
will bite you when he's close
wants to bring up the idea of using his powers, in one way or another, for sex/edging purposes
can play the role of a sadist or masochist, the overall idea of pain into pleasure gets him heady
gets horny FAST when drunk. he is a lightweight, but that doesn’t stop him from ripping your shirt off
food play. will lick whipped cream off you, but isn't too huge on that being reciprocated
EYE CONTACT EYE CONTACT EYE CONTACT WILL STARE INTON YOUR SOUL
Isn't really loud unless subbing or getting close, mostly just letting out breathy sounds and groans. but when he's loud he IS loud
Loves missionary, but will also take you however you wish. he isn’t opposed to going from behind while you lay down, or on your side. anything that gives him full access to touching you is his ideal.
Will use that slutty little tie to tie you. or you tie him. may on rare occasion use his vecna tentacles for bondage LMFAO only if you wish
lowkey prefers fingering over oral? he enjoys using his hands, and vice versa.
potentiallyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy would do smth with anal. on him.
he adores when you have a balance between being all authoritative to then doing everything he says, but he loves you enough to be in any positions you wish if you have specific preferences
sex with him is some trance-like bs. he will be latching onto you, not stopping until you both can not move. he has a bad habit of being all consuming, meaning as long as you are near, he will drink from the fountain that is you, for all eternity.
STAY WITH ME; henry creel/mr whatsit x fem!hopper!reader (part 001)
synopsis; as a lure to get will, eleven, and the others to make their way into Henry's grip of obliteration faster, he caught you between his claws first. but what he sees in the process isn't just someone who will fight back or run. he finds someone who has had to survive on their own for far too long. and it peels away the cool layers he has, day by day.
content tidbits; (possibly) dead dove, reader has depression and OCD, suicidal ideation, hospital mention, reader takes medication, s/h mention, Henry and reader bond over mental illness lmfao, the mind flayer is almost like Venom but more of a puppet master than a symbiotic ally, canon compliant (for the most part, if parts don't line up with canon, let your subconscious handle the details), age gap but it’s not a major theme (reader is 21 and Henry is 27, aged him down bc I don’t know how to go about writing him older lmfao) former Eddie x reader (platonic), platonic Steve x reader, season 5, trauma from previous seasons, enemies to lovers themes, death mentions, swearing, threats, Henry tries to be manipulative but doesn’t get very far, reader is in the mindscape for 2 'months' before Holly gets there (courtesy of Henry extending time there rather than time lining up to the real world, in the real world it's actually just a week passed until she gets there), Henry The Therapist, eventual smut (in later parts), dr brenner is his own tw, henry's trauma, use of y/n
more content warnings will be added/changed per chapter!!
word count; 5.3k, mostly proofread, will likely proofread more over time
a/n: so i know i said i was working on the eddie fic. but henry as mr whatsit is in my mind heavyy rn. i have been depressed asf recently, and only lately have i started recovering/feeling better, and i wanna share that in my work. i also just love henry paired w forbidden love/enemies to lovers, so this lets me have that too!
song inspo; click here!
You were closer to breaking now than you had been in the last 3 years.
You grew up watching your little sister lose herself to a vicious illness. Your mother leaving, the weight of loss unbearable for her. You had seen the town you live in fall into the trap of a version of itself that was parallel to Hell. You watched as innocent children battled monsters. You watched your adoptive sister be responsible for the fate of the world, more times than you can count. You watched people you cared for die. You were tortured in a Russian spy base. Just to get out of it to find out your father had been obliterated, and your sister was moving across the country.
That was when things got to a point that they had never been before. A deep, visceral despair that would not lessen.
You were offered a chance to leave Hawkins too, but the idea of leaving behind the last traces of your father made your heart crush against your ribs. So you stayed. You stayed, moving in with Steve, who kept you afloat through it all.
Countless nights of him having to call Robin to come over, because he didn’t know how to tell you that you wouldn’t find a reprieve from the pain by killing yourself. Days where Nancy would stay by your side from dawn until dusk, making sure you were somewhat functional. But all you could do in the moments you weren’t sobbing was lie in bed and think of how life had been stripped from you.
You were not physically dead, but without your father, either of your sisters, your mother, any semblance of the normalcy you used to cling to, you may as well have been dead in every other way.
Then came the spring of 1986. Right when you finally felt like life would offer you a chance to keep living. You had landed a part time job at Family Video. You were thinking of college in the coming years. You were spending time with The Party, what was left of it. And you had befriended Eddie Munson. Who found you crying at the pier one night when he just wanted to come smoke.
Eddie did more for your healing than anything else could have.
And then the Upside Down opened its jaws again. And it took him, along with half of Hawkins.
Sarah, your mother, Eleven, your father, and now Eddie. Every person who truly breathed life into you had left you gasping for oxygen.
It was 12:31 AM the day after Hawkins split open when Steve Harrington called an ambulance for you after you told him you wanted to commit suicide.
The few days following were a whirl of medications, hospital beds, therapy appointments, ‘get well’ cards, Dustin visiting you with Steve, to give you a collection of guitar picks Wayne had salvaged from Eddie’s room. Eleven had come back to Hawkins after her own uphill battle, and you held each other, sobbing into the hospital sheets.
And then came your father, walking through the hospital doors. It made you think you had actually died. Or the meds were too much. But after multiple retelling from him of what had happened across the globe, you realised that he was not a spirit, nor an illusion. You, he, and El, sat in your hospital room, and wept for the time lost.
About 3 weeks later, you were sent home. The hospital would have had you sent somewhere out of Hawkins to recover, but the town had by now been put on lockdown, it wasn’t possible unless you had caused any legitimate harm to yourself. You were sent back to a freshly repaired version of the cabin with a schedule of long lasting therapy sessions, and enough antidepressants to sedate a small pony.
But you had your dad. You had El. That counted for something.
Until the stakes of Vecna’s plans fell back into focus, and suddenly it was like you were back to normal to the world around you. Obviously, you weren’t. The meds were helping, as was the familiarity of family. People tried to be around for you, but there was never any time for them to really check anymore. You weren’t angry. You understood. But the moments you would lie in bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking of when you saw Eddie’s body, or the pure agony you felt as Steve called 911, or the way the tears drowned you into near catatonia more times in the last year that you could count; you just wished someone would see it.
That wish granted you more than you bargained for.
After a crawl the week before the start of November went wrong, you were stranded. Trying to make your own way back to the WSKQ, to grab some resources and head back to the others. But to your luck- your fucking car broke down. That was the first crack in the layer of composure you forced upon yourself. You tried a payphone not far away. No service, and you were left with no cash to try again. By now, the tears had started. The panic, the feeling of things never getting better. But you went back to the car, and used your walkie to contact someone, anyone. You got through to Steve.
"Jesus, where are you? You should have been back half an hour ago! We need the maps and tools now, what are you doing?"
"Steve, my fucking car broke down- I'm sorry. I tried to call for a tow on a payphone, but there was no service, and I ran out of coins-"
"Fuck sake, we don’t have time for this! You need to find a way to The Squawk now, get the maps, and meet us back at the cabin, now."
"Steve, I can’t go walking by myself- Steve? Steve?? STEVE?!"
He had hung up his end of the walkie.
"FUCK!!!" You yelled, sobbing. You threw the walkie out of the car. Which made you panic more, because you didn’t have a way to reach anyone now.
You wailed and clawed at yourself. You felt like a failure. An inconsolable, sinking failure.
And then the light in the phone booth flickered, in the near distance.
You jumped from your car, and sprinted to it. You would take any chance, any sign, of a signal. You dialled the number for the towing company that you had shacked away in your memory, and waited.
A dial tone.
Waiting.
Ringing.
When the call picked up, the silence aside from static was absolute.
"....Hello? Hello? Is anyone there?"
No one was there.
Aside from an all too familiar growl, squelching, crackling, high pitched.
The phone slipped from your hand, and in your periphery, you could just catch the tall inhumane silhouette.
You didn’t even have a chance to scream before claws grabbed at the front of your shirt, and you were plunged into darkness.
In the middle of the deserted road, the broken walkie crackled to life with the frantic calls of Robin's voice. All she was met with was a distant, guttural cry of something monstrous.
----------
When you woke, everything was a hazy, distant dream. The grass beneath you was soft, almost plush. The sky was blue, littered with white clouds, fresh breeze, carrying the scent of a new spring. Spring. It was spring, in November. Nothing of this was right.
You sat up, and looked around. A field, plain and clean, full of wildflowers and grassy hills. You tried to gather your thoughts, but it was as if you had been drunk before this. There was only a few clips of recognition. The car, your tears, the despair, and the phone booth. And a chill, that went straight from your toes, to your head, and into your soul.
"You're awake."
You yelled, and turned.
There behind you, stood a man. A fair skinned man, with blond hair, cerulean eyes, in a brown suit, a matching fedora atop his head. And a smal, pleasant smile, that looked far to rehearsed. There was something far too familiar about him.
You were stationary, staring at him for a good 30 seconds. Then you bolted. You sprinted as fast as your legs could endure, but not fast enough. You found a house. A house you had seen before, in a much worse for wear state, in a much worse for wear place. But your survival instincts led you to the front door, yanking it open. You fell backwards, as the man stood in the doorway.
"I'd watch where you're going, if I were you. Don’t want you to get hurt now, would we?" He took a step forward, extending you a hand. You slapped it away, scrambling back. You stood to turn and run, but again, somehow, he stood before you, not allowing you to take a step in his previously opposite direction.
"You don’t need to run. I won’t hurt you. You are safe here."
"Fucking bullshit." You snap, standing, stumbling back away from him. You now knew better than to run. He seemed almost amused at your foul language.
"Come inside, Y/n." He tries to placate.
"How do you know my name?" You snap yet again.
"I know plenty about you. It's why I saved you. From the monster."
"That was you?" Your incredulous tone makes his smile widen. "No, that- fuck- nobody else was there. My car broke down, I tried to call for help, and-"
"And the monster got you. Now you're here, where it is safe."
"Nothing is fucking safe to me anymore. I don’t trust you, I don’t trust this, and I don’t trust that me getting snatched by a demogorgon was anything casual!"
"....Snatched by a what?" He tilted his head.
"Demogorgon. That thing, the monster. It's called a demogorgon."
"According to who?'
"Me. My friends. Everyone aware they exist."
"And how do you know they exist?"
"How do you know they exist?"
"Because I saved you from it."
"Then why don’t you know it's name?"
"Because I've seen them plenty, but they've never had a name."
That made you pause.
"You've seen them plenty."
You caught the way his eyes widen a fraction "Yes. Because they stalk around in the woods. One of them came further, to near you. It got you."
"They only live in an alternate dimension, which this is nothing like. How is it they just roam through woods somewhere I am supposedly safe? And 'it got me'. How could it have got me if you 'saved me'?"
"Don't be difficult."
"Don't be a fucking liar."
"I am many things, but I am not a liar."
"Then tell me this: who are you?"
"Henry Whatsit."
"Your last name isn't fucking Whatsit, that's a character from a book. Fine, Hen-....."
You look back at the house. Then to him.
"Henry."
"Yes."
"This is the Creel house."
"Is it? Is that the family that lived here perviously?"
"I think you know."
"And what makes you think that?"
You stand up, and take a closer look at him. "How old are you?"
His head tilts again. "27."
"Henry Creel killed his family. Enough years have passed to where if he was alive today, he'd be 27. Your name is Henry, you're 27, and you happen to live in his house? And the monsters, that Henry, now Vecna, and yes, we call him Vecna, don't fucking ask, controls the demogorgons, and you just HAPPEN to live in the only place they roam?"
He's silent. He walks up to you, and you know better than to move.
"You're more perceptive than I thought."
He leans in closer.
"That's dangerous."
You're thrown back into an abyss of darkness before you can even respond.
----
A bed as soft as clouds held your body as you came to.
It was like an illusion of safety. But god, was it a relief. It made your heart clench under your bones. As if all of the pain from the last 5 years had been washed off, like dirt down a shower drain. And it was warm, hypnotically so. But you forced the trance away, sat up, and looked around. A bedroom. A guest room, you would assume- but what caught your eye the most was how intentional the design was. It was full of items, trinkets, colour palettes that you desire for yourself. Yet it still had a distinct 1950s aura to it.
A flowing melody came from downstairs, something old, sweet, sarchine but not to a point of displeasure. It was then, you realised, you were forced into the house you were earlier outside. Henry's house. Or something akin to its previous state, before it was taken over by ruin and abandon.
You did not want to be stuck here, and you knew the repercussions of running.
But running wasn’t worse than leaving those you love with an unfortunate fate.
You didn’t bother putting on your shoes, or the slippers by the bed. You pushed open the crack left in the door, and crept down the stairs with a stealthy precision you've had no choice but to adapt over time. It was a challenge trying to not put pressure on the creakier steps, but you worked your way down in silence. The front door was just feet away.
The foyer of the house was silent as you didn’t let a single breath slip past you. Your hand was inches from the doorknob, when
"And what do you think you're doing?"
You didn’t even look to the direction of Henry's voice, you just yanked the door open and ran. The wind whipped through your hair as your socks caught on twigs and stones, and you had just made it to the edge of the woods. There was something blocking you. Moreso, pulling you away. You tripped over your feet trying to scramble away, but it yanked you back, all the way into the house. The door slammed behind you and you were swept over the floor, your back hitting the table in the entryway.
Henry locked the door and turned to you. His eyes were now more firm, set on you with an icy intensity.
"If you had given me time, I'd have explained the biggest rule for the time you're here, is to not leave. Especially not to go into the woods. You already broke that."
"Fuck you, and your fucking rules! And how was I meant to know? You abducted me! You haven’t told me anything!"
"I would have, if you had just stayed put. There is no reason to fight me here. I will not hurt you, unless you explicitly disobey me. And considering you weren't told anything yet, I will not harm you. You get a warning. Now, will you get up? Or do I have to look down on you further while explaining everything?"
What an insufferable, pompous cretin.
You manage to stand shakily, though your back persisted in the area of previous impact.
"I apologise for the force, but it was needed. I didn’t feel like chasing you through the woods. Not right now. Now, follow me. Sit in the kitchen, where I can see you. I'll make tea." He politely gestures to the kitchen, leaving you to pause until he was out of sight, then follow.
The kitchen was a comfortable and lush space, a large breakfast bar in the centre, mint and brick orange accents tha sat against sleek black and white furnishings, lifting the room into something startlingly reminiscent of the 1950's. The smell of tea and something sweet, like baking pastries, floated through the room. The whole thing exuded a fake warmth. But you hated that it was something of a known familiarity to you.
You sat at the breakfast bar, Henry's back to you as he steeped a teabag in a teapot.
"Is earl gray okay?"
"I'm not drinking your poison."
He turned, lips slightly quirked up. "If I wanted you poisoned, I would have been far more obvious. I like to make my prey watch what I'm going to do before I catch them. This however, is standard earl gray. Now, is that okay, or do you have different tastes?"
"Just give me it." You grit out.
"I take that as a yes to the flavour. Good, it's my favourite, too."
He grabbed two teacups from a nearby cabinet, two small saucers to sit them on. He pursed one in front of you, and in front of himself -- yet he remained standing on the opposite side of you.
He took a sip, then spoke.
"I imagine you're scared."
"I'm not scared, I just wish you were dead."
"What a lovely pleasantry. Trust me, I know. I haven’t exactly made life easy for you. But that's why I have you here. To make it up to you, to repay you for the troubles I've caused."
"You can do that by letting me go back to my friends and family, and giving up on your mission to blow everything up."
"If I haven't made it clear, you aren’t leaving for now. This is not a prison, but a safe haven. I've seen how you've been recently. You can't pour from an empty cup. You need time. In a space that will accomodate you, provide you with enough time and supplies to get back on your feet, so when you leave, you're well rested, and can do your part."
"I'm not an idiot, I know you have ulterior motives. I see what you do, what you have done. You're posing as this version of you, when you're a slimy, tentacle freak who tries to kill people for personal gain."
Henry stares at you, then shrugs.
"I suppose you're right. I have my.... unconventional methods. But I promise, I am not keeping you here to hurt you. What fun would it be to see you break further? And as for my current disposition, this is simply me, here. Not posing. I can shift states as I wish, but in this place, I am simply myself, no.... additives. You don’t have to believe me. But I hope as time passes, you will see that I only want what's best for you. I see far too much of myself in you to let you rot away unfairly. I'm extending a rare kindness to you, Y/n. I hope you come to be grateful. I am giving you a chance to heal all the pain that you carry. A chance to desire to live despite it."
Something in his words felt far too genuine. You couldn’t piece together which of it was, but it was there.
"I know you have different plans. I'm not here just because you pity me. You have me here for something according to what you want, but I know you won’t tell me. But tell me one thing. What will come at the end of this?"
"Peace. For you, me, everyone involved. I'll have you know that my plans are not as destructive as you believe. I simply wish to rewire the world, the systems that carry it. My goals are much more than a ruthless means to an end. I am doing this to save humanity in more ways than just the simple idea of a wipeout."
He didn’t break eye contact as he took a sip of tea, but you broke it when your gaze moved to watch the steam rise from your own. The mental exhaustion felt like a lead weight sitting on your shoulders, trying to melt you into the ground like quicksand.
Annoyingly, he could tell.
"I know what you're thinking right now." His tone is much more gentle now. "It's unfair that this is your only chance to release what you need to let go of. The only other feasible chance the last year and a half has been the idea of death. But this gives you another chance. To do so, in a contained environment, where you will not be judged or ignored. You can do that here."
"Where even is 'here?" You mumble.
"Somewhere in a far better state than the world we are used to. The specifics are rather complicated, but know it is all real. And I emphasise, will not cause harm to you. As long as you stay out of the woods, where there are things that will try to hurt you."
"Demogorgons?"
"....If that's how you wish to refer to them. Yes. And know that since I am, as you know, familiar with them, here, only I can withstand them. So if you were to encounter one, chances are, you wouldn’t survive."
"You still are a sociopathic maniac ,and I still hope to one day see you on fire."
"But?"
"There's no 'but'." You push away your tea, and walk up the stairs. He follows.
"Maybe I am those things, maybe I'm lesser, maybe I'm worse. But I will have you know, here, I am purely human. with many abilities, but in my prominent physicality, I am as simple as you."
You don’t answer, slamming the door to your room behind you, locking it. You slump onto the bed, heart heavy with the reality you currently face. How is it that things are constantly on a downhill track?
And then the door unlocks.
Of fucking course.
Henry stands in the doorway, then enters. He takes in the space, surveying the various items. "I made sure this room would specifically suit your needs and likes. A home away from home. Did I do okay?"
You didn’t answer, but you didn’t have to.
"I did. I can read you well enough. I will say, you are tricky in ways. Not like anyone else I've met. You're less.... simple. But that's beside the point. I want you to know you have all forms of your favoured entertainment, cosmetics, food, and clothing here. Though I will say, the clothing was slightly altered. Somewhat more vintage. A personal preference of mine. But nothing too severe. You deserve comfort outside of my own wishes. For once."
That made your temper flare. Comfort? Provided by him? He, who is responsible for so much of the reason why you lack so much comfort in the first place. A hypocrite.
"You don’t have to answer. I won't force you to, when you're distressed. I have my ways of getting the answers anyway, as I assume you know of. For now, I shall leave you be. Rest. You need it. Otherwise, what's mine is yours. The house is yours to roam, as long as none of my personal belongings are meddled with."
He paused in the doorway, then turned back to you.
"And Y/n? If you need anything, have any questions, or need any adjustments, I will be in the library of the house. I'm here for the rest of today. I will alert you if I have to leave at any stage. Get some sleep."
He offers a small smile, and watches you for a minute; with something in his gaze you can't pin. He then turns and closes the door, footsteps retreating down the hall.
You're left with a silence that could pierce the very atoms that build the space. You're far too exhausted to devise an escape plan, or accept defeat. Sleep takes you under before you can even try.
-----
When you wake, the sky is a deep blue, littered with stars. The clock on your bedside reads 10:05 PM.
You sit up, feeling far too well rested. It's almost uncomfortable to think of. You haven’t rested this well for far too long. Yet, the rumination wastes no time kicking in.
Vecna has kidnapped you.
Here, he has placed you in an inescapable realm that feigns both normality, and magic. But it is far too polished to be correct.
He knows you know some of his intentions, but will never tell you the truth of it.
He says you are here to recover, but won’t tell you his exact reason why, aside from empathising with you.
Your family and friends likely do not know you're here. They probably don’t even know where you went missing. They’re probably too busy. They won’t be able to save you like this.
Did Henry do anything to you while you slept?
You rise from the bed, and make your way into the attached bathroom. You check over yourself for a good 10 minutes, trying to point out any hidden indication he did something to change you. The lack of result unerves you more.
Tears sting your eyes as you go back to sit on the bed, arms around yourself like shields. You are trapped. Yet again, in some various form, trapped from a life that could so easily be simple. Your mind swirls and dizzies you, too many thoughts fighting each other. He said that here you would have a break from it all. Yet the only break you have at this moment is the break of your mind, bit by bit crumbling under the fact that this time, you truly can not fix it.
You don’t hear the door open some minutes later, or notice Henry's ice blue eyes on you until he steps forward into the space.
"Get the fuck out, you snake."
He doesn’t gratify your words with a response, instead pulling out the desk chair, and sitting it in front of your bed, leaning forward to look at you closer.
"What's the matter?"
"Let me fucking leave. Now."
"You already know that isn’t an option."
The refusal tears at you. Your nails find your arms, digging into the skin that is all too familiar with self-inclicted incisions.
Henry notices. "Don’t do that to yourself. I understand it feels like the only method of relief, but you know it's always shortlived."
"Get out of my head."
"I'm not in your head. I'm just not an idiot."
It made your eyes roll internally to know that much was truth.
He continued; "Now, i'll give you as much time as you need. But I need you to talk to me. Tell me what you feel. What I can do to help."
"Right now, I really wish you had killed me than taken me here. Would have been much better." You express bitterly through the tears.
"I hear that. And I see that you think death would be the more merciful option. But I see the fire in you as well. You don’t want death. You want the pain to leave. Which, again-"
"Is why I'm here, I get it! But me being stuck here is making it worse! I want out! I want all of this to end! I want you dead, I want El safe, I want Max to wake up, I want Hawkins to be safe, I just don’t want to live like this!!"
For a short moment, Henry was silent. And when he at last spoke, his words were not what you expected to hear.
"I know the exact feeling. When I was in the lab, everything was like a liminal space of no return. No joy. No light. No reprieve. Just sterilisation, control, and no way out. I can’t tell you how often I had wished one of the punishments I endured would just fully take me out. But to Papa- To Dr Brenner- A worse fate lied in continuation. Waiting to be let out of mortality."
The words stumped you. You had heard from El how awful the lab could be. It offered no calm to anyone there. But to hear Henry- Vecna himself- say so, twisted the knot that sat stubborn in your heart that refused to see any of his current humanity as fact.
"And I know that's how you feel now." He continued "I apologise for it. It's not at all what I want you to feel. But if you can take one thing away from my story, it's that in some way, escape is possible. Something better waits on the other side of the pain. You just need to withstand long enough to find it. To keep living. For yourself."
The words were a balm, and sedative, all at once. It exhausted you to think that you had to wait it out. But odds be damned, you were being offered a chance to use Vecna as an inspirational figure. It set your teeth on edge.
“How can I live for myself when it feels like the collapse of the world will be my fault if I don’t do one thing right?”
“Collapse isn’t your responsibility. Rebuilding after collapse is. And the world isn’t even new to collapse, and vice versa. That’s why I do what I plan to do. It’s rebuilding. And I do it for myself, I live for myself, because someone has to be the one to do it. And that, of all things, motivates me to live. It may be an egotistical thing, but imagine the pride you feel for continuing, when so many other people roll over.”
“It’s not people’s fault for killing themself.”
“I’m not talking about suicide. I’m talking about the people who let things fester. Those who don’t even bother with a way through. Even when they know there’s many ways. Do you not wish to feel proud of yourself for not being one of them?”
“I can be proud of myself while still empathising with them.”
“That you can. But don’t be afraid to be selfish of it’ll keep you alive. You can balance caring for others while balancing your own needs, as long as your needs are actually met. You have to be the first decision maker in that. People and tools may help you. But ultimately, you save yourself.”
That should not have been what gave you the sliver of hope to continue living. But one thing you should have come to realise much earlier was that Henry Creel was not a man of predictability.
You wiped the tears from your face.
“Even though I’m in an unknown location that’s stuck in the past and I have no clue what my fate will be anymore, and you were responsible for the deaths of many people from an indirect standpoint.” You deadpan, and you catch a genuine grin flick on his face for a moment.
“Yes. You may as well make the most of unpredictable situations. Especially the ones you don’t know the direction of. Life is all about the experiences. You have the choice to get excited about that.”
He rose from the chair and placed it back at the desk. "I'll leave you with that for now. But know that self harm will heal over, and anything aside from yourself will kill you in this house. I made sure to implement those factors into place. But feel free to do anything else. Cry. Eat. Sleep more, though I'll have you know, you slept for 13 hours. Most of the day, into the night. But there's the television in the living room, books in here ad the library, crafts in the study, and much more. Settle in. And for the love of all that is good in the world, don’t use the fact you can’t kill yourself here to try and see what would happen if you attempted. And don’t try anything with the antidepressants. Before you ask, yes, you still need to take them, do not whine."
Against your better judgment, you bit your lip to hold back a grin at the last few requests, the absurdity of it. Henry notices, and something in his still calculating gaze seems to loosen up. A speckle of something human.
"Good. I'll be back in the study until midnight. Do try to sleep again at some point. Your mind needs it if you wish to recuperate. Shout if you need me."
He steps out, and closes the door.
Your stomach drops a small bit when you realise that you, if you really had to, would take him up on that.
You swear to god, if you end up warming up to Vecna because of your desperate fight between attachment and isolation, you will off yourself.
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guys how crazy it is that we know about shifting. our community is like what 2 million people max and it's 0,025% of all people. that's literally INSANE hello?? shifting was meant to find you.
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Before I went to sleep last night I read a post about how counting numbers as a method is probably the easiest thing to get into the void/ your dr because right when you lose track of what number your on and you’re aware you’re getting confused THATS the best moment to shift. You’re right on that edge of being awake but already on the verge of falling asleep and your brain isn’t resisting.
I tried this last night and tell me why I had the most vivid lucid dream and I think for a moment I actually shifted because everything was literally in HD and I could control what I was doing. But I was wayyyy too tired last night to actually follow through with the shift so I just went to sleep.
Pls try it because it’s the most low effort but high reward method you could do (in my humble opinion)