Cat dead, details later?

It's really funny how art can be so important and enriching and sometimes downright life-changing but every single piece of art about how important and life-changing art is is the lamest shit ever.

they just added sparkledogs to the kennel club registry

say egoisitical or selfish instead of narcissistic please 😭

saw a sort of effete poet type young man at the bus stop so i hit him square on the temple over and over with my meat tenderizer until he was gone

what would you do if two months into dating your girlfriend turns to you one day and tells you that she’s “finally memorized your attack patterns”

show her my second phase

it's extremely funny reading historical accounts of Spontaneous Human Combustion because it follows the normal historical trend of other 1800s paranormal phenomena where it stopped happening as much right around the time cameras were invented and stopped happening entirely when everyone started carrying mini cameras in their pockets, but unlike most others of its ilk, it was effectively replaced by this mysterious phenomena where alocoholics would spill liqour on themselves and then fall asleep smoking a cigarette and turn into a fireball. nobody knows if these two things are related

Sorry, Millennials, but recent paleontologist findings and hyolaryngeal apparatus reconstructions no longer support the hypothesis that "rawr" means "I love you" in dinosaur.

"yeah I'm mocking you for not measuring up to feminine beauty standards... b-but you're not ~really~ a woman by my standards, so I'm not being misogynistic! no no I'm a feminist I swear!"

I know some fic writers get stressed about writing tropes they think are too popular or overdone, and I need you all to know that I just spent 4 hours reading every iteration of the same exact fic plot I could find, and they all brought me an indescribable amount of joy. Listen. Listen. Sometimes you want cakes of many flavours and sometimes you want Nine Carrot Cakes

seeing trans girls in public living their lives and smiling and being happy in the moment is like warm honey in my veins. getting to compliment the cute trans girl at costco for her cool mask and spiky collar? that's just a little ray of sunshine in a grey world <3

just overheard somwone say "hey dude i dont see the future I've got two balls and neither is made of crystal" and im absolutely losing it