I’m mentally crying

like, fym thousands of people have clicked onto this pathetic attempt at writing i made in eight grade

i still get comments on it to this day

i’ve been thinking long and hard about this for way too long (i’m going off blood of olympus here)

nico and hazel are the oldest chronologically but biologically 14— actually i think hazel might have a year or two on him chronologically

thalia is biologically 15 but if she wasn’t in the hunt she’d be 18(?) or if she didn’t get the tree treatment she’d be 21 if my math isn’t off

percy is biologically the oldest at 16, that much is self explanatory (thank you for not making me scrounge the internet and being easy)

i think hazel might be the oldest mentally? she did die, but was still aware of her existence and time passing while she was dead, while nico doesn’t remember it being longer than 2 weeks (i think) in the lotus hotel

in terms of being alive without time being frozen for them, thalia is the oldest, despite her time as a tree? so she’s been aging the longest? but percy has spent the most consecutive years not having time altered at all

so i think we just have several answers here:

percy is biologically the oldest

hazel/nico are the oldest chronologically, but hazel is older mentally

thalia has the most consecutive years alive and aging

percy has the most consecutive years of being alive without interference

and jason gave me the least grey hairs

so if we’re scoring by who has the most points, hazel and and percy tie? i think??

what the heck uncle rick why is this so complicated

got a lil bored at school

things percy jackson could do in the lightning thief:

kill medusa

fight all three furies

kill the minotaur

blow up a bus

be subject of a national man hunt

blow up the gateway arch

go to the underworld

stop world war 3

things percy jackson could not do in the lightning thief:

then whoever’s giving them a tour just looks around for a second before pointing at percy, “he blew up mt. saint helens” before continuing the tour as if nothing had happened, pointedly ignoring how confused the camper was.

if i had a nickel for every time an underage protagonist who uses elements had to fight an evil king on the lunar eclipse i’d have two nickels, which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it’s happened twice…

then, he went missing for a whole year and came back, claiming that his dads side of the family had wanted to meet him, but had lied, telling him that his mother and school knew what was going on.

he’s not a bad guy, but holy shit he’s intimidating, even more so since he went missing the second time.

one day you notice a nasty scar on the palm of his hand, and ask where it came from, since it was an odd place for a scar. he looks at you, then at his palm, before deadpanning.

“this guy i used to know tried to kill me with a venomous scorpion.”

you can’t really tell if he’s joking.

one day someone compliments the white streak in his hair, because it is a cool statement.

“oh, thanks, i had something similar when i was younger, but i literally had to walk through hell to get it back.”

that’s a weird analogy— why would his mom just decide he wasn’t allowed to have it for a little bit?

she figured out glyphs, and how to use them efficiently.

she’s tricked multiple people on multiple occasions, or just outright outsmarted them

this girl is so efficient too, no magic? fire works. no paper? scuff your shoe against the ground, or use leaves. no way out of a not great situation? talk your way out of it.

and OH can i go on about luz talking her way out of stuff?? namely with belos. she was able to hold off his murder attempt long enough to come up with a plan.

on that subject, she knows how to use somebody’s weaknesses, like when she fought eda, know she was weak to light, or with hunter, taking his staff (even if that is just a good move to begin with)

not only that, but she was able to realize that amity wasn’t amity from one book quote, then connect the dots from there

and her skills?? luz is bilingual, learned 3 book dialects, knows how to taxidermy, is good at art, might be able to do cheer stuff, and can keep up with the tracks and takes at hexide, despite starting late. she takes in information so fast it’s insane

he was one who survived tartarus.

before that, he was the praetor of the 12th legion.

before that, he was the savior of olympus, the one with the curse of achilles.

before that, he was the one who’d blown up mt. saint helens.

before that, he was the hero artemis approved of.

before that, he was the one who exposed luke for poisoning thalias pine.

before that, he was the one who returned zeus’ master bolt.

before that, he was the son of poseidon.

before that, he was the one who killed the minotaur without even a sword.

and before all that, he was that kid who kept getting expelled for increasingly insane things.

percy jackson had always been a little more than the others he surrounded himself with, so when he began to bleed gold, nobody was as shocked as they probably should’ve been.

when he realized that he was the protector of demigods, nobody as surprised as they thought they might be.

when history forgot percy jackson, the kidnapping victim who fought his kidnapper on the beach, the kid who’d been expelled from 11 schools, and went missing when he was 16.

when history forgot percy jackson, it remembered the god of loyalty, poison, sacrifice, riptides, honor, and demigods. it remembered perseus, the former demigod who’d surpassed all those who came before him.