Brain Activity

I love post like "you all are against rich people until they're a fictional character" because it's completely true. I am against rich people until it's a fictional character. I don't think liking Scrooge McDuck makes someone a class traitor

He got the shark equivalent of the 2am zoomies.

Why is pet play always dogs anyway

Youre a dirty little goldfish arent you. daddys gonna clean your tank out so good so you have to wait in the sink until im done.

Apparently because you have no idea how to care for anything but a dog

Daddy is not known for his animal husbandry

Everybody say "thank you south america" for the humble potato

one cool thing about having an autistic dad whose special interest is underwater spearfishing is that when he catches fish he'll just call up a nearby chinese restaurant like "hi. i caught a fish. can you cook it and i'll bring my family by?" and they're like "yeah sure come on over white boy" and the fish is delicious.

it's worth adding that my mom is chinese and she always gets embarrassed by this. like she doesn't want to come to the restaurant with us. she doesn't want to be seen with the white man she caught plus the fish that her white man caught. everyone who works at the restaurant thinks my dad is awesome and compliments him + her for choosing him and we all find this very fun except for her.

recently when im tempted to say 'i'm gonna kill myself' i try to correct it into saying "im gonna walk into the river and become a trout" or some other form of that. this is my new thing

btw this has graduated into me just saying "the trout population will be affected" and then not elaborating

my friends have a cat who self identifies as a "boy" and uses he/him pronouns

we know this because he is owned by two lesbians who don't have very many he/him friends, so when they say "he" or "him" or "boy" they're usually referring to their cat, so their cat has started responding whenever somebody says "boy" or "he" by running up and looking at them expectantly. so he's a cat that has pronouns

In Japanese, they don’t say “moon,” they say “tsuki,” which literally translates to “moon,” and I think that’s how language works.

Hey its been at least 9 years anything changed?

im capping it at 59k notes. thats it. shows over everybody