hey what's up

her cookie make me pitch a tent because shes fat & weird and now I will expire in 1-3 days

The author must have been eating woodland salad, candied acorns, turnip pie, plum-cakes, bilberry tarts, arrowroot shortbread, and glazed maple shoots, and drinking flagons of October ale and raspberry cordial when they wrote this

Sorry boss i cant come into work tomorrow the old jolly king just slapped his belly and leaned back in his chair with a big leg of lamb in his hand and loudly declared that the festivities shall last all through the night

They’re on Reddit saying texting “hi” is low iq and gives people the ick and that’s why they got ghosted. They don’t let u say hi no more….. we’re in a loneliness epidemic bc everybody is a weirdo about every little thing im cracking up

Thinking any texting habit is weird while using Reddit is funny as fuck the irony

the wisdom ive learnt is that becoming part of a friend group 1) takes a long time and 2) involves a lot of feeling awkward and left out at first. there’s nothing terrible about this but if you grew up chronically lonely or have any kind of trauma relating to social isolation this likely feels Really Wrong and activates danger signals. but both fortunately and unfortunately it’s just how becoming close to new people works most of the time

another thing that was not intuitive to me as someone who grew up an autistic loner: basically everyone on the planet is starved for connection all the time and almost everything people do is an attempt to reach out to another. most seemingly illogical interactions and behaviours can be explained by this. you have to take as many of these invitations as you can. even if you're wrong you still attempted to bring more warmth into the world

"biblically accurate" is such a pet peeve of mine like it means nothing and don't remind me the bible exists thanks

"none of these words are in the bible" I do not care what is in the bible you're scaring me

i have to post stupid shit that isn't funny or interesting sometimes because i don't want my posting gland to get impacted