More Bellies Please!

DISCLAIMER: This is all based off my personal experiences and engaging in conversation with over a hundred FFAs. BHMs are not solely to blame, but I’m going to try and explain the issue from my perspective to hopefully shed some light on the things you can do as a man to have more success with talking to FFAs.

I help run a successful group chat involving a couple of fat related communities with access to the humans and their words. So this is based in a lot of observation and in communication that’s not absolutely destroyed by a toxic culture like Feabie. The problem I see is that this side of kink was never fully developed, the leaders of these communities didn’t help set up standards like the BDSM community has. For example SSC or safe, sane and consensual. SSC gives the very basic set to of rules to build off of when engaging/interacting with someone. I’m not pretending that BDSM doesn’t have predators but because of how educated the community is on respecting people and their boundaries the predators get called out. However they run rampant on this side of the kink spectrum and the “leaders” need to help shine a light on them much like https://www.tumblr.com/feedismbatman does. A victim shouldn’t be the only one that is heard because socially we minimize their words and pain for whatever reason and they’re dismissed. While talking about predators is on the extreme end of the spectrum it relates to the basic side of these interactions with someone as simple as a BHM expecting anyone’s time or energy just because you fit a physical preference of an FFA. I can promise you it’s only a small percent of them that actually don’t care about you as a person and only want to play with the body. MOST want/need some kind of connection and if you come out of the gate thirsty and or inconsiderate you will be forever tainted and won’t ever have a chance…no matter how much you eat or how fat you are.

Another common problem I see is the UNBELIEVABLE amount of man children out there who will blame everyone but themselves as to why such and such person isn’t into them or won’t give them the time of day. Is not only possible but it’s actually likely that you’re a huge part of the problem. Women aren’t owed to you, you’re not going to get what you want just because you exist.

My point being, before you go looking for a feeder/partner fuck with therapy, fuck with being wildly introspective, fuck with being YOUR authentic self… fuck with those and I promise they will fuck with you. Sounds easier than it is but I’ve learned women find a sense of humor, confidence (not that fake it till you make it bullshit) and a sound moral compass puts you in the top 10% of men you think you’re competing with. On that, it’s not a competition I PROMISE there are way more FFAs out there than you think. Our group alone has a very high percentage of FFAs, many of which have said they’re shy and don’t know how to approach men they find attractive. So they’re not the all powerful person holding all the cards who should just swoop in and make you feel better about yourself. They’re a god damn human being too and IF you can see that, see them… you’re half way there. Don’t rush shit, don’t get all butt hurt that they took two days to respond but your creeper ass saw them post but not respond to you yet. Have you considered maybe they don’t know how to reply, they may not have the time to PROPERLY reply and working up the courage to do so. Chances are they’re just not interested but if you get all clingy you’ll never know because you’re worse than friendzoned… you’re forgotten.

Also, don’t try to be slick. Women talk, chances are decent they may already know a little about you before you’ve even talked, so don’t lie, don’t try to fit the mold you think they want because you’ll be sniffed out pretty quick. Them girls have some kind of no verbal communications or some shit because word travels fast. You don’t need to rehearse anything, you don’t need a line… you just have to be you. And if you don’t click one way or the other you’ll at least have given an honest effort.

The absolute worst thing you can do is go around your social medias and blab on and on about how a particular person isn’t a real FFA or feeder just because they don’t choose you. Not in person is the gold standard of anything and to assume you had a chance is probably what got you dismissed… over and over and over and over again and why you’re perpetually “I just can’t find anyone” sad ass victim mentality. When you do that you prevent the closeted FFAs to stay in the closet because they don’t feel safe in our spaces. They’re terrified and they don’t need someone placing unrealistic expectations on them when they’re struggling and dealing with their own shit. That’s another thing lacking anymore is fucking empathy! Just TRY it… I promise if you hone that skill you’ll be way better off. And for the love of Satan don’t open with fat talk, don’t open with a belly pic or worse a cock. Just don’t, talk to them like you have a value beyond just your physical attributes… bitches love that shit!

Green Flags for Feeders 💚

🟢UNDERSTANDS AND EMPHASIZES THE IMPORTANCE OF CONSENT.

🟢 Knows the difference between “feedism” and “feederism”

🟢 Understands and respects boundaries and hard limits. Will not (without consent) push you further than you are truly comfortable with and will not get mad/angry when you use safe words during play

🟢 Has a willingness to establish safe words and other protocols to ensure you stay comfortable and safe during play

🟢 Has done research and understands the complexity of size discrimination and fat politics

🟢 Is a vocal advocate for the rights and equality of fat folks and other marginalized groups

🟢 When planning dates and outings, they take the time to plan the most comfortable route and accommodations for their larger partner. (restaurants with space and no booths, travel accommodations like taking uber instead of walking, buying extra seats on airplanes, etc)

🟢 Worships your growing body but also adores you and your body outside of the context of kink.

🟢 Sees you as a person first and not a sex toy. Values your opinions, hobbies, perspective. Appreciates your humanity and makes you YOU.

🟢 Constantly shows you how appreciative they are of your choice to participate in this kink

🟢 Values and protects the trust you have placed in them. (not sharing private photos, not using language that makes you self conscious, etc)

🟢 Occasionally pays for meals/stuffing sessions. And/or contributes to your meals and gain when possible.

🟢 Understands that being an online feeder/encourager does not by default offer the same privilege and authority as being an irl feeder/encourager. (There’s only so much you can realistically demand for through a screen)

🟢 Is aware of trendy plus size brands and clothing options that will accommodate their partner’s size

🟢 Follows fat people on social media (not to fetishize but to have a diverse social media experience)

🟢 HAS IRL FAT FRIENDS

🟢 Respects the limits to your gain and will not pressure you to gain more (without consent)

🟢 Stays aware and respectful of teasing and comments made about your gain in relation to your gender expression. Avoids triggering language and gender based teasing when there is no consent

🟢 Respects sex workers

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Oh? A vampire? 🦇🧛‍♂️

Just so you know, it was not by my hand that I've gotten so enormously fat - I was called here by feedists who wished to pay ME tribute!

Well ... perhaps daily tributes are a bit much lately, considering I've grown out my casket now ...

Was I always this caked up?? 🤯

Huh?! What?? 😆

... 😳🥺

I ... totally gained back a lot of weight and then some, haven't I? 🥲😆

Today I felt like shit most of the day 😅😂

I'm so out of shape. Both as a person in general but also my old feedee form 🥲 What an embarrassment

Also congratulations on your weight regain!

Your looking large and incharge!!

oh gosh, thank you but I haven't gained weight in a long time 😆 it's probably just some bloating and I like to tease you guys 🤭👉👈

Thank you very much tho!! 😇

I hope I'm still cool, tumblr??

reupload but god I love this pose and the sheer softness of my body 🤤🤤🤤🤤

I got leather shorts

This top was able to hide my belly hang just fine before my McDonald's stuffing.. well maybe just barely 🫣 but after chugging all that melted ice cream even my belly button was showing 😳