Let's Run to a Beautiful Place

#running #runstrong #halfmarathon #halfmarathontraining

Food was still a little sore after work, but I did a long warm up and decided to attempt my run. After about 3-4 minutes in of my first interval, my foot loosened up and the soreness went away. I was pleasantly surprised. I was able to do all 4 intervals running 6 minutes and walking for 4 minutes. No discomfort at all. Food felt great after the run. I did some more stretching and packed my foot in ice. I went to bed thinking my foot would tense up (as it usually does when I sleep) and I would be in pain in the morning. But NO. No pain whatsoever. I still did my warm up routine and stretching this morning along with more ice.

So today is a new day. I’m tracking my food. I planned my meals and I’m going to make today a success.

It's Rock 'N Roll marathon weekend in Las Vegas. I ran my first half marathon a year ago in Vegas. Not I'm returning. I will be doing the 5k race on Saturday along with the half marathon on Sunday. It's been a tough year of running for me. Injury and personal situations have plagued me. But today, I'm doing great, I feel great. I may not reach my time goal I had set at the beginning of 2015, but that is okay. I'm running and that is all that matters. I'm going to do my best, and run with all my heart.

After doing a mental head slap, I tried on the other pair, which were medium, and wouldn’t you know it, they fit perfectly. No surprise there. I ran some more and they were awesome. No slipping and sliding socks, no stopping to adjust the socks. Just wonderful. Thank you Feetures,

I know I’m fat, I’m not an idiot. I see myself in the mirror and ask ‘how did I get here?’. I put on the jeans I’ve been wearing for years asking myself why I’m still wearing big girl jeans. It’s obviously a rhetorical question as I know why I’m fat. My weight has been a roller coaster. I’ve been fat all of my adult life. I’ve been successful at several diet plans, but ultimately I fall off those plans, lose the battle and gain the weight back. I struggle daily, even hourly to make choices that contribute to my weight loss success. Even today, we have a potluck at work to celebrate the 4th of July. The theme was ‘The Freedom to Bring What you Want’. There are many pies, cakes, cookies, bagels, and my tray of veggies and fruit. I do my best to make heathier choices, select healthy foods, work hard at the gym, or even take the stairs instead of the elevator. I’m not always successful. My biggest challenge comes with social obligations or when the people in my life don’t have health as a priority in life. Even in my own household I struggle. I do the grocery shopping and I cook 100% of the meals in my house. But ultimately, there are those days were cooking is either not an option due to lack of time, or I’m tired after a long day to want to cook and clean up. If I leave it up to my husband, pizza or other fast food is what we end up having for dinner. So I push through and either make something, or just let him control the food for the household. It’s difficult when you don’t have the support from those around you. The worse is when you hear it from your kids. My youngest daughter just turned five a week ago. She has no filter. She will say exactly what she is thinking. I’ve been working with her that sometimes our thoughts need to be private, especially when they can hurt others. Yesterday, her teacher told me a story how my daughter had made a comment to another child about the way her dad looks. The dad had a stroke a few months ago and has been recovering from it. The muscles in his face were affected and my daughter told the other child that her dad looked weird. The dad heard the comment. I was embarrassed that my daughter would say that, especially as we have talked about treating others as you would want to be treated. I got more emotional as the teacher continued with the rest of the story. The teacher immediately addressed the situation and told my daughter how inappropriate it was to say those things about others. My daughter then said that her mom and dad are fat, and ‘they don’t care that they are fat’. It doesn’t seem like much, but I’ve always been my daughters world. I’m mom. I kiss ouches and read books. I tell stories and sing to them. I’m mom. So when I heard that my daughter talked about me being fat. It hurt. It hurt badly.

Two months ago I found that I had two stress fractures in the heal of my left foot. In addition I had mild tendonitis and planters fasciitis. This was highly disappointing because I missed the Rock ‘n Roll San Diego on May 31st. I had planned to run the half marathon. I was told no and the doctor put me in a walking boot and had me on a knee walker for a couple of weeks. I haven’t run since May 9th and I’ve been going out of my mind. The only physical activity I was cleared for by the doctor was swimming and upper body weights. Oh, and the occasional wheelies while using the knee walker in a downhill slope (not recommended or authorized by my doctor). I’m now out of the boot and started physical therapy last Friday. Doctor cleared my to use the bike and to start running. My running plan I set with him was to go slow. Start off with a mile and increase slowly from there. I haven’t started running yet. I’m waiting another week to give my foot additional time to heal.

The past several months I have been plagued with self-defeating thoughts. It’s hard for me to admit that. I’ve been trying so hard the past couple of years to make healthy changes in my life. It saddens me to think my own mind would try to stop me. Especially since I have the greatest support system a girl could ask for. But despite all the praise and well wishes of all the cheerleaders in my life, my mind was convincing my body it was no longer in control. That I was ‘too fat’ or ‘too weak’ or ‘too (insert imperfection here)’. I let my negativity take control. (After reading those words, I got a lump in my throat and my eyes began to tear up). My self-defeating behavior started after I completed my first half marathon in November. In the middle of my race, I started having horrible pain. It was difficult to run. My body just quit. I found out that I developed a urinary tract infection. In addition I had horrible chaffing during the race. I had never experienced chaffing that severe during any of my training plans. I have never had a UTI. Cold weather mixed in with sweat and pushing myself to run harder than I ever have just didn’t mix well with the running gear I had selected for the race. I spent three weeks recovering and didn’t feel confident in running. It affected me so much that my mind just told me it wasn’t worth it. I’ve kept running. Trying to convince my mind that it was just a bad experience and I needed to move on. I slowly worked my way back. I ran my second half marathon in January, ran a 10k in February, and ran Pat’s Run a couple of weeks ago. My confidence is building up, but it’s not where it use to be. I have another half Marathon scheduled for the end of the month. I hoping I'll be ready. I need to change my mind. I need the thoughts going through my head to be positive and motivating. I need to focus on my goals. I’ve decided I need to do something. My first thought out of bed this morning was “What can I do today to change my life?” It’s a big question with no of motivating power for me. The word 'change' sets the image that I don’t like my life and need to change it to make it better. I love my life. Change makes me feel I need to make a big gesture to impact my life. Change puts pressure on me to make a life altering decision. Like dropping everything I’m doing, my job, my family, my friends, my home and leave my life to ‘go find myself’ ala Cheryl Strayed. No offence to Cheryl, but it’s not something I’m willing to do. My life isn’t perfect, but I have no desire to run away from it. I need to rephrase my question of “What can I do today to change my life?”, which in my mind, is a question that results in negativity and demotivation. The word ‘can’ is out the door. I can do anything I put my mind to. But WILL I do it? What WILL I do? Sounds more like I’m moving forward to the idea of change. No, not change……improve….. Why would I want to change? I love who I am. I want to improve!!! YES, IMPROVE!! What WILL I do today to IMPROVE my life? I think I've answered that question for today.

Wow, it's been a long time since I did an update. Maybe it's time. One of my goals was to keep a journal of my running process. Note my feelings, my frustrations, my accomplishments, tell some funny stories. It was an attempt to keep me motivated, to see my progress along the way. I found out my motivation isn’t driven by words. My motivation is driven my willingness to change my life. Since my last update, several things have happened which only strengthen my resolve to reach my goals. This was the first... After going the gym for over a year, I finally decided to check out a personal trainer. I was reluctant, mostly because of the cost involved. They offered to give me a free 30 minute training so I gave it a go. It was no bodies fault but my own. I had already run 3.5 miles and did a yoga class. I asked about working the upper body, but the trainer insisted that since my muscles were warmed up, we'd do legs. I groaned, but went along. He's the expert right? The workout was tough, but I had done most of what he had me do before. I didn't feel like there was anything new. I did feel the workout was an overkill for the day. I had already run and did yoga. Then we sad down and he explained the plan, the cost and how working with a trainer would help me reach my goal. My goal....my first half marathon in November. Then it happened. He said the one thing that tested me and strengthen my motivation. He said to me: "You will not reach your goal without a personal trainer" Wanna bet?? Yeah buddy, telling me that is not going to win me over. I got up and walked out. The next morning, I could hardly straighten my legs as my hamstrings were so tight. I get it, there is a good feeling to being sore after a workout, to feel you have worked to strengthen muscles. But this injured me. It was painful. I'm happy to say I didn't let that trainer's comments negatively affect my ability to reach my goal. If anything, i'm stronger. i'm still in training mode and currently run on average 15 miles a week. Last week I ran 17 miles with my long run being 9 of those 17 miles. And I feel amazing. So that is one summertime story......more to come. 2014 Races January 19 Rock ‘N Roll 5.4 mile Mini Marathon - DONE March 1 Phoenix Marathon 10k - DONE March 15 Kiss Me I’m Irish 8k - DONE April 2 Rock ‘n Roll Las Vegas Registration 5k Kickoff - DONE April 16 Rev Run 5k - DONE April 26 Pat’s Run 4.2 miles - DONE May 10 The Night Run 10k - DONE May 26 Boulder Bolder 10k - DONE October 4 Super Hero 5k - DONE November 16 Rock ‘n Roll Las Vegas Half Marathon December 7 Phoenix Hot Chocolate 15k 2015 January 18 Rock 'N Rock half marathon

My goal was to keep track of my running journey to help keep me motivated and track my progress through my stories. The reality is, time just gets away from me. I'm still running strong and my motivation has not wavered. Not even a little. I've participated in 6 races since my last blog post in March. I have two more races scheduled this year, the Rock 'n Roll Las Vegas Half Marathon and the Phoenix Hot Chocolate 15k. Vegas will be my first half marathon. I'm excited and nervous. Most of the training programs for half marathons are 12 weeks long. I will be starting this week, which gives me 24 weeks to prepare. I can do this. I think of were I was a year ago (June 3rd, 2013 was my first day running), and I couldn't run 30 seconds without my lungs burning. Now I'm training for my first half marathon. Crazy? No, just half crazy. 2014 Races January 19 Rock ‘N Roll 5.4 mile Mini Marathon - DONE March 1 Phoenix Marathon 10k - DONE March 15 Kiss Me I’m Irish 8k - DONE April 2 Rock ‘n Roll Las Vegas Registration 5k Kickoff - DONE April 16 Rev Run 5k - DONE April 26 Pat’s Run 4.2 miles - DONE May 10 The Night Run 10k - DONE May 26 Boulder Bolder 10k - DONE November 16 Rock ‘n Roll Las Vegas Half Marathon December 7 Phoenix Hot Chocolate 15k

2014 goals: - Rock ‘n Roll Mini Marathon (5.4 miles), January 19th - DONE - 10k of the Phoenix Marathon, March 1st - DONE - Kiss Me I’m Irish 8k, March 15th - Pat’s Run 4.2 miles April 26th - The Night Run 10k, May 10th - Bolder Boulder 10k May 26th - Take summer off to work on consistency and speed. - TBA 10k - Las Vegas Rock ‘n Roll, November 16 - Phoenix Hot Chocolate 15k, December 7

Tomorrow I'm entering into a new level. My first 10k race. One could argue that the Rock 'n Rock Mini Marathon was the start of it. My GPS had me running 6 miles for that race. Darn close. I've lost a bit of my focus since that last race. No lost in motivation, just focus. It's challenging to stay on your goals when obstacles keep blocking your path. Minor automobile accident injury, fighting off illness, fighting to stay healthy. This month has been challenging. I've been dealing with some pain, nothing that is going to stop me from making my goals. I have the all clear to move forward and even though my body at times is telling me to curl up in a ball and go back to sleep, I'm going to be at that race tomorrow, 5am, in the rain, ready to go. I may walk some, hell, I may walk all of it. But I'll be there and I'll finish. 2014 goals: - Rock 'n Roll Mini Marathon (5.4 miles), January 19th - DONE - 10k of the Phoenix Marathon, March 1st - Kiss Me I'm Irish 8k, March 15th - Pat's Run 4.2 miles April 26th - Boulder Bolder 10k May 26th - Take summer to work on consistency and speed. - TBA 10k - Las Vegas Rock 'n Roll Half of the Half (6.5 miles), November 16 - Phoenix Hot Chocolate 15k, December 7

1 hour 29 minutes 44 seconds was my official time (1:29:43 per my Forerunner). I'm slow, but I got the job done. Next race: Phoenix Marathon 10k - March 1st, 2014

My motivation into the new year took a dive on day one. I'm not sure what happened. Could have been the post withdraw of the holidays or the realization that I set my running goals for 2014 and it's time to live up to them. I'm not sure, but it had me worried. In the late 1990s there was this show called Ally McBeal. I didn't watch it religiously, but I did watch a few episodes here and there. One episode Ally was advised to come up with a theme song. This song was to help her mood and make her smile. For years, my song was 'I'm Still Standing' by Elton John. My first run of 2014 was on January 2nd. I ran 4.79 miles. I didn't even want to go, but I left the house and put one foot in front of the other. The thought of how I would feel if I didn't go outweighed how I would feel if I did. It was a struggle and I could hear myself groaning. But I was out there. I did it anyway. Tom Petty's 'Running Down a Dream' started playing about 2 miles in and they next thing I know, I'm running to the beat of the song. I played the song 4 times during the remainder of that run. It's my new theme song, at least for running. Today I ran 5 miles. The longest I have run to date. Yes, Tom Petty came on and yes, I played it more than once. After today's run, I am motivated again and ready for my 5.4 'Mini Marathon' race at the PF Chang's Rock 'N Roll.