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if you wake up much earlier than normal you feel secret emotions

#one time i just woke up at 7 am and stared at the sunrise for like an hour #dont know what emotions those were but they sure were a lot!!

If you stay up late enough, you feel those same emotions, but the bad version of them

Rasputin in my Heart: Russia’s greatest love machine.

fuck this *gets corrupted by the holy grail*

when people are like “the hunger games just stole the plot of battle royale” like listen everything steals from the plot of everything the lion king is just furry hamlet westworld is jurassic park but sexier lost is edgy gilligan’s island there are no original stories and the only good piece of media is jennifer’s body

Michael crichton wrote westworld and jurassic park tho so he just pirated himself

michael crichton keeps TRYING to tell y’all about the evils of capitalism impeding on the progress of science when will y’all LISTEN

Maybe he just doesn’t like theme parks

michael crichton in line for a roller coaster at six flags: fuck this

​finally something we gamers can drink out of

oh thank god… im so thirsty……

I lost my gender in…the accident.

I was trying to roll my gender back in my head just for fun, but my mom said “don’t do that with your gender, it’ll get stuck like that!” And you know what? I didn’t listen, she was right.

Got my gender blown off in ‘nam

i put my gender in the dryer once and i haven’t been able to find it since

I left my gender in my jeans pocket when I put them in the wash. It came out all crumpled and broken so I had to throw it away.

Dropped my gender in 2012 and it rolled into a storm drain

That sonofabitch took my gender in the divorce

A highway man assailed my carriage. He demanded “your gender or your life” and well, I am alive.

Some asshole stole my gender out of.my truck and used it to write bad checks so I had to close my gender account

do you take a werewolf boyfriend to the vet or the doctor. this is too complicated

@blackberryshawty

Good fucking content.

The way he says "thing of power"...........