[ I did my best babe... ] This week, Agnes and I have stopped breastfeeding, and it's been an emotional time for me to say the least. From day one the odds were stacked against me and my breastfeeding journey. I didn't even realise how much I wanted to breastfeed until it didn't work. The midwife told me it's recommended to breastfeed for two years. So straight away, in my head I said to myself, then that's what I will do. Agnes wouldn't latch, I didn't have enough support around me, I expressed 24/7, I got food poisoning which ruined my supply until only one breast worked. We had hurdle after hurdle and overcame each of them as best we could. I fought harder than I have for anything to make sure she had breastmilk everyday. Just recalling how hard I pushed myself to succeed brings tears to my eyes. You see, I feel like my body failed me. The outcome of my breastfeeding goals were taken out of my hands. I had no control over it. It was my body dealing with the obstacles it had thrown at them and it seems that my body has had enough. Life has been stressful of late and I needed to reduce that stress. After endless attempts to get my supply back to the norm, I decided that it was time to stop. It was time to stop the medication, stop the expressing, stop the endless attempts to put baby to the breast. I can't recall ever wanting anything as much or being willing to put myself through so much to succeed. I'm aware that I've done an amazing job by feeding my daughter breastmilk every day, despite these hurdles, for over 8 months now. But forgive me while I come to terms with the failure that accompanies these 8 months of success. Sometimes it's okay to be sad for a while, when you have something to be sad about. I doubt I will ever fully come to terms with it, but I'm confident that there will come a time when I can look back and celebrate the wins. At least I know I did my best babe. #pregnancyblog #parentingblog #parentingblogger #pblogger #pbloggers #ukparentingblogger #ukparentingblog #motheranddaughter #kids #happykids #happychildren #motherandchildren #love #happy #joyful #mumandbaby