Trouble in Paradise

Right now, I'm in this place. I feel like I shouldn't care that my body looks different, but I do. And now I realize I had thought I wouldn't gain this weight back and still harbor a lot of negative thoughts about gaining weight. It feels like a failure that I've gained this weight. But the moment I entertain this thought, it's as if I'm failing in my recovery.

Lately, I've been eating more, and not all of the food has been healthy or made me feel good in my body. It's what I needed at the time, but now I'd prefer to make slightly healthier choices. However, I also wish to lose a bit of weight in the process, so I can return to the body I felt more comfortable in. Unfortunately, there's no online recovery community where you can discuss this without it turning toxic.

“Hope,’ he said. ‘Damn thing never leaves you alone.”

“Perhaps all humans are lonely. At least potentially.”

“Sometimes,’ she said, ‘at special moments like that, people feel a pain alongside their happiness.”

“It must be great. Not to miss things. Not to long to get back to something. Not to be looking back all the time. Everything must be so much more…”

“In the morning when the Sun returns. It’s possible for us to hope.”

Only to be called out by your boss..

18-03-2023

I haven't forgotten my first blog post, eventhough it seems like it. I have been stressed out with life and work. Also, to be completely honest, I have been thinking of how to start. Which resulted in me not starting.

In my head it seemed logical to start with uploading the list and then work it through and journal about how it was. However the list is not finished yet, but I do have some hobbies I already want to try. So it probably I will upload the list and will journal about my try out of the hobbies, but it will not be in chronological order.